高分求批雅思小作文Dear Mr.Jackson,I am writing to apologize for that it is impossible for me to return some books in time.I borrowed three books from the library about one month ago which are supposed to be returned before next Monday.Unpred

高分求批雅思小作文Dear Mr.Jackson,I am writing to apologize for that it is impossible for me to return some books in time.I borrowed three books from the library about one month ago which are supposed to be returned before next Monday.Unpred
高分求批雅思小作文
Dear Mr.Jackson,
I am writing to apologize for that it is impossible for me to return some books in time.I borrowed three books from the library about one month ago which are supposed to be returned before next Monday.
Unpredictably,I have to stay in the hospital to take care of my brother,since he was injured in a serious accident yesterday morning.I rushed to the hospital and found his situation is not good.I am afraid I could not get back within at least two weeks.Besides,Martin,my roommate,also went out,and the time when he will be back is unsure at the moment.Otherwise,he would be able to help me return the books.For the above reasons,it is almost impossible for me to get them back in time.
I am really sorry for returning the books late.I promise to return them as soon as I am back.I will appreciate it very much if you could give me two more weeks' time to return them.
Your Sincerely
Joe Jones

高分求批雅思小作文Dear Mr.Jackson,I am writing to apologize for that it is impossible for me to return some books in time.I borrowed three books from the library about one month ago which are supposed to be returned before next Monday.Unpred
Dear Mr.Jackson,
I am sorry to tell you (writing to apologize for删去,介词for后不能跟that从句)that it is impossible for me to return the（some改为the,你已经知道指的是那些书） books in time.I borrowed three books from the library about one month ago which are supposed to be returned before next Monday.
Unluckily（Unpredictably也可,但用Unluckily更符合英语的习惯）,I have to stay in the hospital to take care of my brother,who（since he改为who构成定语从句,使你的表达既地道,又高级） was injured in a serious accident yesterday morning.I rushed to the hospital and found his situation was（is改为was,与主句谓语时态一致） not good.I am afraid I can not get back until two weeks later.（根据楼主的意图,应是想表达“要至少两周后才能有时间还书”,故within改为until,同时句末加later就再合适不过了） Besides,Martin,my roommate,has also been（went改为has been强调Martin一直都不在这里） out,and the time when he will be back is unsure at the moment.Otherwise,he would be able to help me return the books.For the reasons above（above通常放在被修饰词的后面,或干脆改为For these reasons）,it is almost impossible for me to （get them back用反了,它是“你”去取回书的意思.应改为return them就行了） in time.
I am really sorry for returning the books late.I promise to return them as soon as I am back.I will appreciate it very much if you could give me two more weeks' time to return them.
Your Sincerely
Joe Jones
楼主的这封信写得很好,很通顺,流畅.有个别语病已帮你改正,供你参考!

Dear Mr. Jackson,
I am writing to/这个to 是介词,一般的用法是write to sb. 这里可改为to you to apologize for /that it is impossible for me to return some books in time/这个句子最好改为not being able to return some books on...

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Dear Mr. Jackson,
I am writing to/这个to 是介词,一般的用法是write to sb. 这里可改为to you to apologize for /that it is impossible for me to return some books in time/这个句子最好改为not being able to return some books on time还书一般是按时而不是及时. I borrowed three books from the library about one month ago which are /supposed to be returned/改为due就好了 before/删 next Monday.
Unpredictably, I have to stay in the hospital to take care of my brother, since he was injured in a serious/这个搭配不合适,你可以说他seriously injured in a car accident// accident yesterday morning. I rushed to the hospital and found /that 书面语不要省that/ his situation/生病一般是用condition/ is not good. I am afraid I could not get back within at least two weeks. Besides, Martin, my roommate, also went out, and /the time/删 when he will be back is unsure at the moment. Otherwise, he would be able to /help me/删 return the books //for me. For the above reasons, it is /almost/删或改为hardly possible impossible for me to get them back in/on time.
I am really sorry for returning the books late. I promise to return them as soon as I am back. I will appreciate it very much if you could give/grant me two more weeks/' time/删 to return/你的return使用太多说明你的语言能力受词汇限制,这里你可以说make it happen来代替还书这件事// them.
Your Sincerely
Joe Jones
你好!帮你改了下,这篇小作文大概在4.5分左右.有若干语法和用词的问题,而且语言过于口语化,不像是书面的作文,虽然说小作文写信可以口语化一点,但一定要掌握好度,最好还是书面的用语多点比较容易拿高分.
还有问题,hi我.希望能够帮到你.

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pie chart
The piecharts show changes in American spending patterns between 1966 and 1996.
Food and cars made up the two biggest items of expenditure in both years. Together they comprised ove...

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pie chart
The piecharts show changes in American spending patterns between 1966 and 1996.
Food and cars made up the two biggest items of expenditure in both years. Together they comprised over half of household spending. Food accounted for 44% of spending in 1966, but this dropped by two thirds to 14% in 1996. However, the outlay on cars doubled, rising from 23% in 1966 to 45% in 1996.
Other areas changed significantly. Spending on eating out doubled, climbing from 7% to 14%. The proportion of salary spent on computers increased dramatically, up from 1% in 1996 to 10% in 1996. However, as computer expenditure rose, the percentage of outlay on books plunged from 6% to 1%.
Some areas remained relatively unchanged. Americans spent approximately the same amount of salary on petrol and furniture in both years.
In conclusion, increased amounts spent on cars, computers, and eating out were made up for by drops in expenditure on food and books

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