求改雅思作文,坐等大神……望给出具体分析及预估分值,题目——Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of this ou

求改雅思作文,坐等大神……望给出具体分析及预估分值,题目——Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of this ou
求改雅思作文,坐等大神……望给出具体分析及预估分值,
题目——Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Globalization,a process by which countries all over the world become connected,is the general trend of the development of present society.Therefore,the tendency in the teaching of foreign language to respond this phenomenon aroused wide public concern.
It is undeniable that children will face more barriers when they learn second language at primary school compared with learning it after graduating,because pupils are too young to accept another language while they are learning mother language which will be easily confused with one another.On the other hand,to learn an unfamiliar language will cause more pressure for the young in their childhood.The early youth need enough freedom to be put into what they are really interested in,and enjoy an easy life during that time.Too much pressure will lead them to a branch road so that losing interests in studying.
To some extent,the disadvantages put more emphasis on the mental development of children while there exist some advantages which support learning foreign language since young,concern more about interests in the long run.The main superiorities are listed below.Firstly,learning a foreign language at primary school could give children more exposure to the language environment which will help to achieve their full potential in this field,after all,children run from a further starting line.Secondly,the rapid development of society requires people to grasp at least one foreign language,English,for some people who speak other language as their mother tone,because,it is an international and official language all over the world.Last but not the least,learning foreign language especially some small language for pupils could foster a more colorful outlook of world when they are very young and cultivating thirst for knowledge by comprehending other cultures through their unique words,and that will enrich their experience.
In summary,merits of learning foreign language at primary school are obviously outweigh the demerits.As far as it goes,it is a common phenomenon around us.

求改雅思作文,坐等大神……望给出具体分析及预估分值,题目——Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of this ou
我大概看了下哈,我觉得这个作文估计在5分到6分之间.高分是不可能的了.
我的理由：
你作文好多模板句子的感觉,第一段就是.这个是开篇啊,你把题目改写都比你的这个好.
我觉得你审题貌似不是很清楚,或者是你审清楚了但是在写的时候有点困扰,当然也可能是我读的不够仔细.我觉得你的这篇文章,把最后一段去掉,完全可以用在题目为“What are the advantages and the disadvantages of learning a foreign language since young?"而题目问的是“胜过”,你好像没体现这个的感觉.你上面的文章只说了好处和坏处体现在那些地方,没去做对比.雅思作文审题非常重要哈,你偏题了或者字数不够,直接就是5分下了.而英国的好学校至少都是6..
文章有点语法错误哈,但是这个没什么,雅思作文评定只要不影响阅读,可以允许,不是很扣分的.


 一些建议：
我也只是个学生哈,我能力也有限.
开篇第一段不要用模板,常常的写作思路是改写（不是照抄）题目并提出自己观点,当然也可以不改写,写些背景句.但是,自己观点还是要给出的,你是赞成?反对?中立?至少让考官一目了然的知道.
下来的段落采用提出理由的段,既为你的观点＋支持观点的句子.就是你为什么认为优点胜过缺点或者反之?支持你这么认为的原因是什么呢?扒拉扒拉等等.这部分你可以分段写,一个理由一段或者就一段.
接下来写让步段.就是从说一个“你不同意的观点”那边的支持论点,然后推翻他.这个你也可以不写,主要是看字数.

总结理由
 这个是我推荐的哈,当然很多雅思作文书都有这些.
说的不对的你别介意哈,我说了自己也是学生,今年去英国读书.雅思只有7..
最后,累死我了.