修改一段话(英文)In contrast, some people argue that with the development of globalization, the role of advertising is becoming more crucial in business, because of the World Wide Web opens up new communication possibilities for personalized me

修改一段话(英文)In contrast, some people argue that with the development of globalization, the role of advertising is becoming more crucial in business, because of the World Wide Web opens up new communication possibilities for personalized me
修改一段话(英文)
In contrast, some people argue that with the development of globalization, the role of advertising is becoming more crucial in business, because of the World Wide Web opens up new communication possibilities for personalized messages to be delivered to targeted individuals. What’s more, no matter where you get around in a city or even in the countryside, it is pretty easy for you to find one or two signs introducing a product. Therefore some people contend that business should not reduce advertising spending in a time of recession. There are three comments they have. Like keep customer’s loyalty, competitive advantage and promote the business. Firstly, advertising can keep product in people’s mind. In other words, a business should maintain customer’s loyalty.
麻烦各位大大看看我的语法和巨型... 谢谢了。.
帮忙美化下......满意有追加..

修改一段话(英文)In contrast, some people argue that with the development of globalization, the role of advertising is becoming more crucial in business, because of the World Wide Web opens up new communication possibilities for personalized me
优秀的作文需要精炼的语言,lz的有些句子太冗长了（比如communication 已经包括了personalized messages to be delivered to targeted individuals）老外喜欢简练、精准的essay而不是长长的essay,所以我把部分句子删去了,请谅解.
In contrast,someone believes that with development of globalization,advertising is playing a critical and dominating role in business.For example,World Wide Web nowadays develops more efficient ways of communication.In addition,signs of products' brief introduction can be spoted everywhere in a city or even the countryside.What's more,advertisement can keep product deep in customers' mind.In other words,consumers are loyal to the brands of the business they are familiar with.Thus,business should not reduce spenses on advertisements during periods of recession.

In contrast, some people argue that developing with globalization, advertisement has become more important and crucial in business operations. For instance, world-wide-web has opened up new communicat...

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In contrast, some people argue that developing with globalization, advertisement has become more important and crucial in business operations. For instance, world-wide-web has opened up new communication possibilities for deliveries of personalized messages to targeted individuals; regardless at which location in a city or countryside, signs and billboards are easy to be found introducing or promoting a product. Therefore, some believe that businesses should not reduce advertising expenses in a time of recession for 3 main reasons: to keep customers' loyalty; to retain competitive advantage and to promote the business.
Advertisement can imprint the images of products in people's mind, therefore plays a critical role in retaining customers' loyalty to a product or a brand name.
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"Like keep customer’s loyalty "——Like keeping customers` loyalty
"There are three comments they have"明显有问题 ,it should be "mostly,they have three comments“
文章比较冗长，有一些繁复，建议按二楼的一些提议

没有太多好改的，值得指出的1)because of 是介词短语，后面只能跟短语，不能跟句子，要because才能跟句子，所以open up用动词原型是语法错误，我这里改成having opened 是动名词构成的现在完成式，语法上就可以了；2）There are three comments they have这种表达语法上没错，但很别扭，不如直接用They have three view poi...

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没有太多好改的，值得指出的1)because of 是介词短语，后面只能跟短语，不能跟句子，要because才能跟句子，所以open up用动词原型是语法错误，我这里改成having opened 是动名词构成的现在完成式，语法上就可以了；2）There are three comments they have这种表达语法上没错，但很别扭，不如直接用They have three view points for it；3）Like keep customer’s loyalty, competitive advantage and promote the business. 须知like不是连接词，后面不能跟句子，你这里用了几个动词原型，keep， promote，不可以的，也给你改了
In contrast, some people argue that with the development of globalization, the role of advertising is becoming more crucial in business, because of the World Wide Web having opened up new communication possibilities for personalized messages to be delivered to targeted individuals. What’s more, no matter where you get around in a city or even in the countryside, it is pretty easy for you to find one or two signs introducing a product. Therefore some people contend that business should not reduce advertising spending in a time of recession. They have three view points for it: to keep customer’s loyalty, to keep competition advantages, and to promote the business. Firstly, advertising can keep products in people’s mind. In other words, a business should maintain customer’s loyalty.

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