英文简历帮我看看哪里不对About myself: My english name is Lisa.I love language very much.Everyone may have a dream.some guys want to be a scientist,some want to be a singer ,some want to be an artist and so on.For me I also have a dream,

英文简历帮我看看哪里不对About myself: My english name is Lisa.I love language very much.Everyone may have a dream.some guys want to be a scientist,some want to be a singer ,some want to be an artist and so on.For me I also have a dream,
英文简历帮我看看哪里不对
About myself:
My english name is Lisa.I love language very much.Everyone may have a dream.some guys want to be a scientist,some want to be a singer ,some want to be an artist and so on.For me I also have a dream, may be one day my parents will be proude for me.yes it should be.The biggest dream is going abroad to touch the different culture and different people, I hope I can speak a flaunt enlish and other language.And always perfect myself.
I think get along with others is more important.wherever we are,there must have more than two persons.so we should converse with each other.and get along well enough with each other. If someone want other person be good to someone self he must pay his heart first.
I have get more praise for example in the university and have get the scholeship all terms .and be a The excellent graduates.but that to me is the pastime.the real praise to me is to past the my dream test.not the paper test.
At last i want to say i’m not a girl who is not very clever .but I’m absolutely a diligent girl.because my lower beginning have paid more effort than others and i will going to concentrate on my future work.
I’m looking forward for you scincerely.
Lisa

英文简历帮我看看哪里不对About myself: My english name is Lisa.I love language very much.Everyone may have a dream.some guys want to be a scientist,some want to be a singer ,some want to be an artist and so on.For me I also have a dream,
guys 改成people 较好些 guys 太口语化..
后面几段,我就不说了..你这是书面的,跟口语不同,你这个语法问题还是比较多的,应该要注意.
我的想法是,你要些求职信,应该多阐述你的内心,你的爱好以及你在为实现你的目标而正在做出的努力和已取得的成就等等...还原给雇主一个真实的你,一个不一样的你,你最后说你不是很聪明,但是很勤奋.光说一些结论性的东西,给老外讲道理是没用的,拿出东西证明给人家看!

格式完全不对 你这是求职信 和简历不是一个东西

再重写一下吧 整篇的中国英语啊！

About myself:
My english name is Lisa.I love language very much.Everyone may have a dream.some guys want to be （scientists),some want to be a (singers),some want to be an <...

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About myself:
My english name is Lisa.I love language very much.Everyone may have a dream.some guys want to be （scientists),some want to be a (singers),some want to be an (artists) and so on.For me, I also have a dream<,> (.) (May) be one day my parents will be (proud) for me.(这句考虑放到后面，哲理容易引起混淆）(Yes) it should be.The biggest dream is going abroad to touch the different culture and different people, I hope I can speak a flaunt enlish and other language.（这句不理解要表达什么）
I think （getting) along with others is more important.wherever we are,there （might）< have> (be） more than two persons.so we should converse with each other.and get along well enough with each other. If someone want other person （to treat him kindly),he must (act friendly) first.
《I have get more praise .for example in the university and have get the scholeship all terms .and be a The excellent graduates，but that to me is the pastime.the real praise to me is to past the my dream test.not the paper test.(这段结构比较乱 没看明白要表达什么）
At last i want to say i’m not a girl who is not very clever （我不是一个很不聪明的女孩？？是这个意思吗？）.but I’m absolutely a diligent girl.Because (去掉）I have （made) more effort than others（at the very begenning) and i (am) going to concentrate on my future work.
I’m looking forward for you scincerely.
Lisa

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salutation (Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms surname, or Dear Sir/Madam for extra caution)
headline or 'banner statement' (optional)
credibility and relevance statement (mandatory) - you must establish your cre...

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salutation (Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms surname, or Dear Sir/Madam for extra caution)
headline or 'banner statement' (optional)
credibility and relevance statement (mandatory) - you must establish your credentials and explain your relevant capability or proposition - clever wording here enables you to wrap the two - credibility and a relevant proposition - into a single statement or paragraph
how and why statement (optional) - what re the special characteristics of your capability or proposition
suggestion of similar opportunity/application for target organisation (optional but useful normally)
action/follow up statement (mandatory) - what happens next - explain
sign-off
P.S. statement (optional - can work well in certain situations - generally avoid using it for senior approaches because it will be seen as gimmicky)

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My English name is Lisa.I love languages very much.Everyone in the world has a dream.some wants to be a scientist; some wants to be a singer;some wants to be an artist and so on.For me the biggest dr...

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My English name is Lisa.I love languages very much.Everyone in the world has a dream.some wants to be a scientist; some wants to be a singer;some wants to be an artist and so on.For me the biggest dream is to go abroad to learn various cultures and different people. I hope I can speak fluent English and other languages,which will perfect myself.
I believe getting along with others is more important.wherever we are,there must be more than two persons.So we should converse with each other.and get along well with them. If one wants other person to be good to him he must pay his heart first.
I received many awards in my university and got scholarships all semesters .Besides I got the title of excellent graduates。
At last i want to say though i’m not a girl who is very clever , I’m absolutely diligent.Because I have made great efforts for equipping myself and I believe I can do my future work well.

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