求高手们给我修改下作文,作文题People'voice really matters(from“Occupy Wall Street")A fierce rebellious movement called“Occupy Wall Street” broke out on September 17th ,2011.Thousands of demonstrators got together in Manhattan,New Y

求高手们给我修改下作文,作文题People'voice really matters(from“Occupy Wall Street")A fierce rebellious movement called“Occupy Wall Street” broke out on September 17th ,2011.Thousands of demonstrators got together in Manhattan,New Y
求高手们给我修改下作文,作文题People'voice really matters(from“Occupy Wall Street")
A fierce rebellious movement called“Occupy Wall Street” broke out on September 17th ,2011.Thousands of demonstrators got together in Manhattan,New York.Some of them even brought tents to show their resolution to continue such action.Their intention is to combat American government nowadays.To be more detail,what they oppose is the financial system and the huge gap between the rich and the poor.So far,this movement has gradually developed into a national social revolution spreading around all the United States.
Usually,rebellious movements can be easily triggered by depression and recession.“The protesters were dissatisfied with the current economic situation since unemployment rate was above 9 percent and economic growth slowed.” Ben Bernanke,chairman of the U.S.Federal Reserve,told the Joint Economic Committee of Congress.Actually,three years after the severe financial crisis,the U.S.economy now is stuck again.People suffered a lot because of this terrible crisis.However,government did everything they can to bailout Wall Street,leading to a record-high government debt and record-low people’s living standard.What’s worse,it was Wall Street that possessed the most wealth,stained with greed and corruption.It was Wall Street's "fat cats" who took taxpayers' aid money as their own whopping bonus.Frustrated,disappointed and unsatisfied,people united together to utter their voice.They are complaining that the hard-working middle class is getting poor,yet Wall Street stays wealthy.
Where there is a smoke,there is a fire.No movements appeared without reasons.Of course,economy is not the only reason of “Occupy Wall Street”.More factors causing this movement are just waiting to be unveiled,which need government to confront bravely and pay enough attention to deal with people’s voice seriously.Since when it comes to one country’s flourish,people’s voice really matters.

求高手们给我修改下作文,作文题People'voice really matters(from“Occupy Wall Street")A fierce rebellious movement called“Occupy Wall Street” broke out on September 17th ,2011.Thousands of demonstrators got together in Manhattan,New Y
1.to combat American government nowadays.no,if so,they‘d occupy the
White House,not wall st.it is actually supported by obama.
2.To be more detail-----detail is not adj?and the meaning is also unfit
3.deal with people’s voice seriously------（deal with voice） bit unnatural,better treat or take
it comes to one country’s flourish----- flourish as noun differs in meaning from the verb form

good！

哎、、你真悲剧啊