雅思作文修改想请雅思写作高手们帮我修改下文章啊.300多字,知道会很打扰大家,但还是很希望热心的朋友能从大致上给我宝贵的意见.细节的我自己慢慢改.非常感谢了.Happiness is considered very im

雅思作文修改想请雅思写作高手们帮我修改下文章啊.300多字,知道会很打扰大家,但还是很希望热心的朋友能从大致上给我宝贵的意见.细节的我自己慢慢改.非常感谢了.Happiness is considered very im
雅思作文修改
想请雅思写作高手们帮我修改下文章啊.300多字,知道会很打扰大家,但还是很希望热心的朋友能从大致上给我宝贵的意见.细节的我自己慢慢改.非常感谢了.
Happiness is considered very important in life
Why is it difficult to define
What factors are important in achieving happiness?
Happiness is one of the most important things that human kind pursue in their lives.People nowadays live in a speed and hurry age,what they should do is to live in a better life,and a more rich life.Inevitably,some people have to make their ends meet at the expense of losing happiness .Those people will strongly feel that happiness is vital in life when happiness left behind.
As the tempo of life accelerates,the majority of people find it increasingly difficult to define what is the real happiness during their lives.The definition of happiness changes from time to time.When one person lives in needy,he may affirm that he must be a happy one if he gets rich someday.But when he really possess much fortune,he may suddenly find that a lot of happiness ingredients have been lost silently during these time he look after money.Friendship,for instance.They may review their former definetion of happiness made by them and doubt that whether the happiness exsits.
Different groups have different concept of happiness as well.It contrabute to the difficulty of defining happiness.To farmers,the havest season maybe the most happy time ;To doctors,it’s is the patients recover that they will feel very delighted.To manufactures,nothing will be more excited to them than their good find a ready market.Apparently,they can get benefits from such kind of behaviours,and the procedure is much more significant to them to get happiness.We can not deny that people those who are money-worshipping able to feel happiness in their lives.Their definition of happiness is earning money.
As far as I am concerned,there are many factors are crucial in obtaining happiness.Firsly,health is the foundation of happiness.Only if one lives in a healthy life,can he has the possibility of pursuing happiness.Secondly,self-contentment and self-recognition play a cardinal role in acheving happiness.If one has endless ambitious,consequently,he can not avoid the frustration of temporary failure,which is badly effect his sense of happy.Last but not the least,we should readjust our attitude towards happiness.Happiness seldomly comes for nothing.what we should to is endeavor enough to live up to our goals so as to he happiness be presented some day.

雅思作文修改想请雅思写作高手们帮我修改下文章啊.300多字,知道会很打扰大家,但还是很希望热心的朋友能从大致上给我宝贵的意见.细节的我自己慢慢改.非常感谢了.Happiness is considered very im
你很有耐心,大这么多字.不过我的性子比较急,只看了第一段和最后一段.第一段我发现了一个语法错误and a more rich life应改成and a richer life.因为rich是双音节,多音节是才用more 做比较级.双音节只要加er就好了.比如big的比较级是bigger.相信这些你懂.出错只是因为你一时大意.
最后一段嘛,好像是套用模版.As far as I am concerned.Firsly,..Secondly,..Last but not the least,.老外不是特别喜欢模版.最好换一下,中国学生老是喜欢用模版.试想一下,如果是你当考官考外国人汉语时,面对一大堆外国人写的中文作文,而其中又有90%的人都用模版,你会给他们高分么?
至于要用什么句子,我无法回答你.这是平时的积累.
我每周都抄英语散文,里头的文章写的很好,可是都没有用模版.这才是语言本身,他不是用来考试,是用来交流.
你可以准备一本笔记本,平时阅读时候发现比较好的句子或是观点可以抄下来.
日积月累就会有效果.