【求助】帮忙改正英文自我介绍的语法错误!本人英语无比之差,求帮改语法错误,拜谢!It's my great honor to introduce myself to you here.My name is XXX,I'm twenty two years old.Now I study in XX University and my major is X

【求助】帮忙改正英文自我介绍的语法错误!本人英语无比之差,求帮改语法错误,拜谢!It's my great honor to introduce myself to you here.My name is XXX,I'm twenty two years old.Now I study in XX University and my major is X
【求助】帮忙改正英文自我介绍的语法错误!
本人英语无比之差,求帮改语法错误,拜谢!
It's my great honor to introduce myself to you here.My name is XXX,I'm twenty two years old.Now I study in XX University and my major is XXX.In the past four years,I studied hard.I have passed the CET-4(请问这个该怎么说,是直接念字母么?).At the same time, I actively participated in community activities.I have organized large fundraising activities and responsible for community's management work.I'm patient with others,careful to do things,sureness for work and dare to face pressure.Today,I apply for this position,I have prepared for earnest study,industrious work and serves for customers,hope you can give me a chance.Thank you!

【求助】帮忙改正英文自我介绍的语法错误!本人英语无比之差,求帮改语法错误,拜谢!It's my great honor to introduce myself to you here.My name is XXX,I'm twenty two years old.Now I study in XX University and my major is X
“twenty two,应该写成twenty-two,两个单词之间应该加上连字符,当然了,“22岁”可以如下表达：twenty-two years old或者twenty-two-year old.
“I have passed the CET-4…这句话时态不对,应该改为I passed …,因为前面已经强调了是“在过去的四年里”,很显然“通过四级考试”这件事已经发生,所以就不能用和现在有关的时态,直接用一个过去时就行了.
CET-4,它的全称是College English Test,Band Four .缩写就是CET-4.
“ I actively participated in community activities.这句话中副词的位置最好换一下,即 actively 这个单词可以放在句末.
“I have organized large …同样这句话的时态要改为过去时,即直接表达成I organized large…就可以了.还有就是这句话中的and这个连词应该连两个并列的成分,但是organized和responsible,明显前者是动词,后者是形容词,所以表达是有问题的,这句话可以写成：I was responsible for community's management work and organized large fundraising activities .
I'm patient with others,careful to do things,sureness for work and dare to face pressure.这句话显得没有顺序,有点凌乱,建议改写为：I'm patient with others and careful to do things.On the other hand,I also have sureness for work and dare to face pressure.
“I apply for this position,I have prepared …这两句话之间得逗号应该改为句号.
“hope you can give me a chanceslh…这句话中的hope应该改为hoping,因为一个句子中只能有一个谓语,前面已经有一个 prepare作谓语了,所以在此这个hope就要以非谓语的形式出现,又因为它跟主语I之间是主动关系,所以应用ing的形式,即改为hoping.
可能还有不全或解释的不详尽的地方,仅供参考吧,

twenty-two CET-4(College English Test Band4大学英语四级)，Today,I apply for this position,because I have ...