帮忙检查下这段话有没语法错误,如何改正With the rapid application and development of computer network technology,an increasingly large number of people share resource and deal with business affaires through the network,which raises so

帮忙检查下这段话有没语法错误,如何改正With the rapid application and development of computer network technology,an increasingly large number of people share resource and deal with business affaires through the network,which raises so
帮忙检查下这段话有没语法错误,如何改正
With the rapid application and development of computer network technology,an increasingly large number of people share resource and deal with business affaires through the network,which raises some criminal activities by distrbuting illegal messages in the online community,the anonymous nature of online-information distribution makes identity tracing a critical problem.But the difficulty of identity tracing is the huge number of features in even a moderate-size training texts,which cause the the problem of over-training.In this paper,we proposed a novel random subspace method by constucting a set of stable classifiers to take advantage of nearly all the discriminative information in the high dimensional feature space.In the construction of base classifiers,a optimized synergetic neural network with the regularization factor is used to output more accurate probabilistic category information.Performance results on the subset of Reuters Corpus Volume 1 (RCV1) show that the proposed random subspace method is better than a single classifier and conventional random subspace methods.

帮忙检查下这段话有没语法错误,如何改正With the rapid application and development of computer network technology,an increasingly large number of people share resource and deal with business affaires through the network,which raises so
(1)第一分句：错,rapid不能用来修饰application,rapid指速度,可以修饰development.不能说”飞快地应用“,而应该是广泛的应用,可以改为rapiad development and widespread app..
（2）increasingly改为increasing ,第二个分句有错,主语是an large number,谓语动词是share和deal,错.可以改为：the number of people who share.resources（注意是复数）..and.through the network is dramaticly increasing.
(3)第三分句,错.which不能指代前面整句话,只能就近指代名词,这里指代network,显然错.应改为：However,this change leads to a surge in online criminals by...
(4)第四分句：, the anonymous nature of online-information distribution makes identity tracing a critical problem 错.如果没有and、but等连词或者是引导词引导的定语从句,逗号前后不能是两个完整的句子.改为单独的句子或者增加连词.
（5）But the difficulty of identity tracing is the huge number of features in even a moderate-size training texts, which cause the the problem of over-training.这句话我没看懂,但结构不太好,主句：difficulty是large number of features,这个显然不对.可以改为, what is tough for identity tracing is to find a certain target in a large size of texts which have a huge number of features.后面的从句又错,which不可指代前面整句话,而且为什么会引起over training（过度训练）,我没有明白,恕我才疏学浅.这句话的意思都有待考证.
（6） In this paper, we proposed a novel random subspace method by constucting a set of stable classifiers to take advantage of nearly all the discriminative information in the high dimensional feature space. 这句话好长.没明白在说啥,主要是楼主没提供这篇文章的主题或者学术背景.“在这份报告中,我们通过建立一些列稳定的分类来假设一种新的随机子空间方法,这种方法可以在几乎所有有差别的（discriminative是指有区别的,歧视的,不是指非犯罪的）信息里在高的维度特征空间占据优势.”这句话直译的话就是这样,不知道是不是楼主本来的意思,如果不是,请说一下本来的意思,否则真的不太懂.
（7） Performance results on the subset of Reuters Corpus Volume 1 (RCV1) show that the proposed random subspace method is better than a single classifier and conventional random subspace methods.
performance本身就是名词,后面的result应该是动词,而result的固定搭配只有两种：result from
和result in.前者指因为,后者指导致.这里应该有results from吧.result on,没这种搭配.show应该用单数shows.
better than后面的a 和最后的methos冲突,不知道你的“单分类随机子集法”和“传统法”是不是一个方法.如果两者都是修饰同一种方法,改为：better than the single classifier（conventional）...method.如果是两种不同方法,改为：is better than both single..method and conventional method.还有,conventional不是很常用,改为normal或者traditional更好
综上,不知道楼主是学生还是工作了.总的来说,楼主的语感还不错,但是在语法上面问题有点多.其实我以前也是一样的,后来因为去美国要考G,死扣了一下语法,发现以前自己写的好多都有错误,而且自己也看不出来.
建议还是简单句为主,最多套两个从句不得了了,必要的时候可以使用插入语来使句子结构更加简洁,比如说第六点提到的那句话就太长了,可以适当加点从句引导词或者使用插入语.
我们参加考试,老美可能会给我们出长难句,但是老美都不希望读到长难句.所以,在保证正确的情况下可以出现一两句长难句,多了就不行了,老美看着也蛋疼.
如果是工作了写的报告,更推荐用简单点的句子结构.首先还是不能出错,
啊,好辛苦,要是还有什么疑问可以跟我讨论,满意的话就给个分吧!手都写痛了（居然才10分!啊啊啊啊啊）!哈哈!

1. increasingly 改为 increasing
2. proposed 改为 propose

没错啊.很好的