In early this year,We region experienced extreme ice and snow weather,which lasted for a long time,the resulting loss of weight are rare of the meteorological disasters.During that time,I joined the “Youth Commando” of our department.For days in

In early this year,We region experienced extreme ice and snow weather,which lasted for a long time,the resulting loss of weight are rare of the meteorological disasters.During that time,I joined the “Youth Commando” of our department.For days in
In early this year,We region experienced extreme ice and snow weather,which lasted for a long time,the resulting loss of weight are rare of the meteorological disasters.During that time,I joined the “Youth Commando” of our department.For days in the morning I went to front line and cleared up the accumulated snow with other young men,then I didn’t have a rest a moment and with my colleagues in safety office went to field-work to inspect the pipelines,facilities and equipments.It was very cold and I felt very tired,but I felt very proud that I had survived the challenge and made pretty good jobs.
I knew that more people made a great contribution to launch with the snow and ice disaster struggle,in order to keep the production operating smoothly.Huang one of our safety technicians had fought for field-work round-the-clock to repair the damaged of pipelines,facilities and equipments in below zero degree.He was illness finally,but he still strike to work in the front line until all problems were solved.
Huang is only one representative of hard-working young men who set an example for me.I learns Olympic spirits from him also.Undoubtedly,Olympic spirits effects me greatly in my study,work,life,encouraging me face and fight with the difficulties ,and realized my dreams and achieved my aims,Higher,Faster,and Stronger.I think that Olympic spirits also effects our young men of Company.
如有错误,请将正确的写出来,

In early this year,We region experienced extreme ice and snow weather,which lasted for a long time,the resulting loss of weight are rare of the meteorological disasters.During that time,I joined the “Youth Commando” of our department.For days in
In the early this year,our region experienced extreme ice and snow weather,which lasted for a long time,the resulting loss of weight are rare of the meteorological disasters.During that time,I joined the “Youth Commando” of our department.(For days) in the morning I went to the front line and cleared up the accumulated snow with other young men,then without a rest I went to field-work to inspect the pipelines,facilities and equipments with my colleagues in safety office.It was very cold and I felt very tired,but I was proud that I had survived the challenge and made pretty good jobs.
I knew that more people made a great contribution to deal with the snow and ice disaster in order to keep the production operating smoothly.Huang,one of our safety technicians had fought for field-work round-the-clock to repair the damaged of pipelines,facilities and equipments in below zero degree.Although he was illness,he still stroke to work in the front line until all problems were solved.
Huang is only one representative of hard-working young men who set an example for me,from whom I learn Olympic spirits also.Undoubtedly,Olympic spirits affect me greatly in my study,work,life,encouraging me to face and fight with the difficulties ,and to realized my dreams and achieve my goals,The slogan of the Olympic Games “Higher,Faster,and Stronger” also influences our young men of Company.

开头将in删去

1. 以下文字very cold and I felt very tired连用两个very稍嫌重复，建议将第一个改为so。
2. “made a great contribution to”中“贡献”一词改为复数似更妥。
3. 以下文字“the damaged of pipelines”中damaged后加上parts似更佳。
4. “in below zero deg...

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1. 以下文字very cold and I felt very tired连用两个very稍嫌重复，建议将第一个改为so。
2. “made a great contribution to”中“贡献”一词改为复数似更妥。
3. 以下文字“the damaged of pipelines”中damaged后加上parts似更佳。
4. “in below zero degree”不对，要么说below zero degree temperature, 要么说in the below zero-degree environment。
5. Huang is only one representative of hard-working young men who set an example for me. 这句话建议修改一下。Huang -- the one and only person who worked hard among all young men, set a good example for others, me inclued.
6. 记忆中also似乎不能用在句尾，建议改为too或as well，前面加上逗号。
7. 以下文字spirits also effects主谓不一致，effect后面的s去掉。
就说这些吧！

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