帮忙修改一下我写的英文自我介绍!Good afternonn,every teacher ! It is really my honor to see you again. I hope i can make a good performance today. In fact,I have some nervous. So if I will make some mistakes in my talk,please excuse me.

帮忙修改一下我写的英文自我介绍!Good afternonn,every teacher ! It is really my honor to see you again. I hope i can make a good performance today. In fact,I have some nervous. So if I will make some mistakes in my talk,please excuse me.
帮忙修改一下我写的英文自我介绍!
Good afternonn,every teacher !
It is really my honor to see you again.
I hope i can make a good performance today.
In fact,I have some nervous. So if I will make some mistakes in my talk,please excuse me.
Now i will introduce myself briefly .
I am 28 years old. I was born in a town of chongqing.
I was graduated from xi’an university of technology. my major is electronical and informational engineering.and i got my bachelor degree in the year of 2003. and after graduateed from university, I became a teacher. I have been teaching at a vocational school of xi’an for three years. And now ,I am a postgraduate student of CIAE. I will get my master degree in the next year.
Now,I will introuce my family to you. My family is really a big family. I have three elder sisters. And they all married, and have a child for each own family. My mother is a farmer,and my father is a worker of a coal mine. So you can image that our life is very tough. But anyhow, we have pulled through. Alough the situation of mu family is not the best, it is more better than the past. We are satisfied. I love the every member of my family just as they love me. In my opinion, the family is most inportant in my life.
Ok. Now, let me talk about my hobby. My hobby is extensive. In my spare time, I like doing sports, listening music, watching TV, sleeping, cooking , and eating etc. I most like playing badminton, because I only can handle it. In fact, I want to learn tennis. I think it is interesting and fierce. But I know that I am short of the talent in sports, I will learn very slowly. Then there is no coach willing to teach me any longer. So I hope I can encounter the most patient coach in the future.

That’s all. Thanks for your attention.

帮忙修改一下我写的英文自我介绍!Good afternonn,every teacher ! It is really my honor to see you again. I hope i can make a good performance today. In fact,I have some nervous. So if I will make some mistakes in my talk,please excuse me.
第一段：拼写(afternoon),还有啊,各位老师直接用 teachers就好了.
第三行,用hope后面用could比较好点吧
第四行,我有一些紧张翻译成：I have a bit nervous.
If there are some mistakes in my talking(或者用speech),please forgive me.（这边用excuse不太恰当）
第五行：
Now,let me briefly introduce myself.
后面介绍自己可以用复合句啊,如
I am a 28-year-old youth who was borned in a town of Chongqing.
这跟写作文一样啊,多用好的句型如果是面试说简单句肯定没有说复合句印象分高的.
你的这篇英文介绍写的不咋滴啊.
要不帮你整个重新翻译才好,你的中文我都懂,可是翻译成英文时有点中国化啊.

很完美了~无需修改~~

第1行，all the teachers较好
第4行，i have some nerves=>i still have a little nerves