看一下这篇英语作文,帮忙改下语法错误,I used to look down on the beggar before that day.That day Dad and I went shopping.On our way home,we met one beggar,an old man with dirty clothing,who asked my father to give him some money.My fat

看一下这篇英语作文,帮忙改下语法错误,I used to look down on the beggar before that day.That day Dad and I went shopping.On our way home,we met one beggar,an old man with dirty clothing,who asked my father to give him some money.My fat
看一下这篇英语作文,帮忙改下语法错误,
I used to look down on the beggar before that day.That day Dad and I went shopping.On our way home,we met one beggar,an old man with dirty clothing,who asked my father to give him some money.My father just spent all of his money,so he asked me to borrow some.I really hated that beggar and I refused.At that time my father was angry with me.When that beggar saw this,he said to my father,“Don’t be angry with your child like that for me.” Then my father held his hands and said sorry to him.I was moved at that time,and that is one of the most special memories of mine.

看一下这篇英语作文,帮忙改下语法错误,I used to look down on the beggar before that day.That day Dad and I went shopping.On our way home,we met one beggar,an old man with dirty clothing,who asked my father to give him some money.My fat
I used to look down on beggars before that day when Dad and I went shopping.On our way home, we met a beggar, an old man with dirty clothing, who asked my father to give him some money. I really hated that beggar and refused. At that time my father was angry with me. When the beggar saw this, he said to my father, “Don’t be angry with your child like that .”Then my father held his hands and said sorry to him. I was moved at that time, and that is one of the most special memories of mine.自己看吧,你年龄应该不大,应该是小学或者初中作文,要是高中生写成这样就过分了.我没改你的语言,你的表达没逻辑.

I used to look down on the beggar before that day, when Dad and I went shopping. On our way home, we met a beggar, an old man in dirty clothes, who asked my father to give him some money. My father ju...

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I used to look down on the beggar before that day, when Dad and I went shopping. On our way home, we met a beggar, an old man in dirty clothes, who asked my father to give him some money. My father just spent all of his money, so he asked me to borrow some. I really hated that beggar and I refused. At that time my father was angry with me. When that beggar saw this, he said to my father, “Don’t be angry with your child like that because of me.” Then my father held his hands and said sorry to him. I was moved at that time, and that is one of the most special memories of mine.
没有什么语法错误了，就是。。。这个语句比较没有亮点。。。

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we met one beggar 我觉得用a比one要好，就看到一个人，只是作为人的量词，没有数目概念~
其他好像也没什么语法问题 但重点是，故事内容好奇怪，father对baggar也太客气&尊敬了吧，你感动了之后应该在来句补充，形容你具体的感觉，强调这一刻感动对你的改变和力量，比如说“Just as a brihgt light shining on me and I realize...

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we met one beggar 我觉得用a比one要好，就看到一个人，只是作为人的量词，没有数目概念~
其他好像也没什么语法问题 但重点是，故事内容好奇怪，father对baggar也太客气&尊敬了吧，你感动了之后应该在来句补充，形容你具体的感觉，强调这一刻感动对你的改变和力量，比如说“Just as a brihgt light shining on me and I realized how ashamful I used to be(如同一道光芒照射到我身上，我意识到自己过去多么可耻”，不然看上去草草结束，同时也是对你文章开头的一个交代。

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a