托福作文 马上就要考了,高分求改篇作文,是否喜欢为节假日做打算With the development of society,people have to devote much more time to their work or study.The more time we spend on our work,the less our leisure time is.So leis

托福作文 马上就要考了,高分求改篇作文,是否喜欢为节假日做打算With the development of society,people have to devote much more time to their work or study.The more time we spend on our work,the less our leisure time is.So leis
托福作文 马上就要考了,高分求改篇作文,
是否喜欢为节假日做打算
With the development of society,people have to devote much more time to their work or study.The more time we spend on our work,the less our leisure time is.So leisure time is previous for us nowadays.Therefore,we should make full use of our leisure time.From my own perspective,making plans for our leisure time is the best choice.
There is no doubt that making plans can prevent us from wasting time.We often hear from our friends that they have nothing to do during their holidays and do not know what to do,so they waste holidays one after another.While if we would like to make plan for our leisure time ahead of time,we can begin the holiday as what has been planned,from which we can benefit a lot.
Besides,making plans can help us make full use of our leisure time and have a good relax.Not only do we want to relieve the pressure from work and study,but also to enjoy our life greatly during our leisure time.We can make plans according the situation of ourselves.For example,If we mainly focus on brainwork,then we make plan to go outside on weekend or holiday.We do not need to think about work and just have a good rest,which can really add more fun and color to our lives.
In addition,making plans can remind us what we have not thought about and solve the problem ahead of time so that we can have a good time.For example,when we make a detailed plan for our holiday,we have to plan from the beginning to the end,then we can know what situations we may meet,So we can think about ideas to solve these problems ahead of time,as a result,we will settle difficulties easily when we meet them in reality.
Considerable though the advantages that making plans have,I can not deny that there may be some emergencies that our plans are not helpful.However,the situation will be worse without plans.In conclusion,making plans for our leisure time can bring us a great many benefits.

托福作文 马上就要考了,高分求改篇作文,是否喜欢为节假日做打算With the development of society,people have to devote much more time to their work or study.The more time we spend on our work,the less our leisure time is.So leis
With the advancement of society,people have no choice but to devote much more time to their work or study.The more time they spend on their work,the less their leisure time will be.Time for recreation,thus,should be made full use of,of which the best way is to make a schedule before vacations.
There is no doubt that making plans can save people's time.It is commonplace that people hear their friends' complaint that they do not know what to do on vacation.Either watching TV or sleeping all day is too tiresome.On the other hand,if they arrange what they will do previously,they can obtain a meaningful vacation.
Besides,blueprinting a scheme for vacation can also help people have a good relax.People can make plans based on the situation of themselves and hence do what they want.For instance,for those who mainly focus on brainwork,some physical exercises are a good way of relaxation,such as going outside for a picnic on weekends,during which people have no necessity to be haunted by their work.Having a good rest,they attain an increasing amount of contentment.
Last but not least,planning ahead of time can remind people of what they wouldn't thind about otherwise and help acquire the solution to the possible problems before they actually happen.Imagine such situation.Some people are going hiking this weekend.To not be vexed by weather problems,these people plan to take some umbrellas or some raincoats with them.The rain,if any,will not bother the hikers.
From what I have mentioned above,a final conclusion,therefore,can be drawn that making a schedule for vacation beforehand is undoubtedly beneficial for the time it saves,the relaxation and contentment it brings and the problems it solves.
有较大改动,请仔细阅读
注意人称一致,要用一人称就全用,要用三人称也全用,建议全用三人称
注意同一个词不要反复出现,要用近义词或短语替换,如你的plan这个词用得太泛滥
with the develop of society 不要用,大家都这样用,太差,我给稍微你改了
注意例子要尽量具体（最好的方式是用名人的例子,具体的时间地点）
独立写作的词最好要上400,我有个同学560个词!
综合写作一定要听力听清楚,那三点都要听到每一点细节
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With the development of society, we（people改为we，以与下文的第一人称相一致） have to devote much more time to our（their改为our） work or studies（study改为studies，以对应前面的our）. The more time we spend on our work, the less ou...

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With the development of society, we（people改为we，以与下文的第一人称相一致） have to devote much more time to our（their改为our） work or studies（study改为studies，以对应前面的our）. The more time we spend on our work, the less our leisure time is. So leisure time is previous for us nowadays. Therefore, we should make full use of our leisure time. From my own perspective, making plans for our leisure time is the best choice.
There is no doubt that making plans can prevent us from wasting time. We often hear （是想表达“听说”一义吧？那么from要删去。因为hear from是个固定短语，“收到来信”的意思。同时下文词序做适当调整）that our friends have nothing to do during their holidays and do not know what to do, so they waste holidays one after another. While if we would like to make plans for our leisure time ahead of time, we can begin the holidays as（ what删去 ）has been planned, from which we can benefit a lot.
Besides, making plans can help us make full use of our leisure time and have a good relax. Not only do we want to relieve the pressure from work and study, but also to enjoy our life greatly during our leisure time. We can make plans according the our situations（situation of ourselves改为situations）. For example, If we mainly focus on brainwork, then we make a（加上a） plan to go outside on weekends（加s） or holidays（加s）. We do not need to think about work and just have a good rest, which can really add more fun and enrich （color to 是想表达“丰富”一义吗？用enrich）our life（lives不可数，改为life）.
In addition, making plans can remind us what we have not thought about and solve the problem ahead of time so that we can have a good time. For example, when we make a detailed plan for our holiday, we have to plan from the beginning to the end, then we can know what situations we may meet, So we can think about ideas to solve these problems ahead of time, as a result, we will settle difficulties easily when we meet them in reality.
Considerable though the advantages of（that改为of） making plans are，（have改为are，are与considerable相配）, I can not deny that there may be some emergencies （that改为where） our plans are not helpful. However, the situation will be worse without plans. In conclusion, making plans for our leisure time can bring us a great many benefits.
修改后完整的全文如下：
With the development of society, we have to devote much more time to our work or studies.The more time we spend on our work, the less our leisure time is. So leisure time is previous for us nowadays. Therefore, we should make full use of our leisure time. From my own perspective, making plans for our leisure time is the best choice.
There is no doubt that making plans can prevent us from wasting time. We often hear that our friends have nothing to do during their holidays and do not know what to do, so they waste holidays one after another. While if we would like to make plans for our leisure time ahead of time, we can begin the holidays as has been planned, from which we can benefit a lot.
Besides, making plans can help us make full use of our leisure time and have a good relax. Not only do we want to relieve the pressure from work and study, but also to enjoy our life greatly during our leisure time. We can make plans according the our situations. For example, If we mainly focus on brainwork, then we make a plan to go outside on weekends or holidays. We do not need to think about work and just have a good rest, which can really add more fun and enrich our life.
In addition, making plans can remind us what we have not thought about and solve the problem ahead of time so that we can have a good time. For example, when we make a detailed plan for our holiday, we have to plan from the beginning to the end, then we can know what situations we may meet, So we can think about ideas to solve these problems ahead of time, as a result, we will settle difficulties easily when we meet them in reality.
Considerable though the advantages of making plans are,I can not deny that there may be some emergencies our plans are not helpful. However, the situation will be worse without plans. In conclusion, making plans for our leisure time can bring us a great many benefits.

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随着社会的发展,人们不得不身上投入更多的时间花在他们的工作或学习。我们花更多的时间对我们的工作越多,知道的越少,我们的闲暇时间。所以空闲时间为我们之前的境地。因此,我们应该充分利用我们的闲暇时间。在我看来,计划进行我们的闲暇时间是最好的选择。
毫无疑问,让计划能阻止我们浪费时间。我们经常听到从我们的朋友,他们没有事情做在他们的假期和不知道该做些什么,所以他们浪费假期一次又一次。而如果我们要...

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随着社会的发展,人们不得不身上投入更多的时间花在他们的工作或学习。我们花更多的时间对我们的工作越多,知道的越少,我们的闲暇时间。所以空闲时间为我们之前的境地。因此,我们应该充分利用我们的闲暇时间。在我看来,计划进行我们的闲暇时间是最好的选择。
毫无疑问,让计划能阻止我们浪费时间。我们经常听到从我们的朋友,他们没有事情做在他们的假期和不知道该做些什么,所以他们浪费假期一次又一次。而如果我们要计划提前我们的闲暇时间,我们就可以开始了这个节日就像所计划的,从中我们可以受益匪浅。
此外,制定规划能帮助我们充分利用我们的闲暇时间,好好放松一下。我们不仅要缓解工作上的压力和学习,还可以尽情享受我们的生活大大在我们的闲暇时间。我们可以根据自己的情况的计划。举例来说,如果我们主要集中在思考,然后写打算去外面周末或节假日。我们不需要考虑工作,只吃好好休息一下,那些能真正添加更多的乐趣及颜色,我们的生活。
此外,制定规划能提醒我们,我们还没有考虑提前解决这个问题,以便我们能有个美好的时光。例如,当我们做一个详细的计划去度假,我们必须计划从始至终的作为,这样我们才能知道我们会遇到什么样的问题,所以我们可以想想观念来解决这些问题之前,结果我们解决困难我们见面时很容易在现实。
相当虽然优势,让计划,我不能否认可能会有一些的紧急情况时我们的计划是没有帮助的。然而,情况会变得更糟没有计划。总之,计划进行我们的闲暇时间可以给我们带来很多好处。
你凑合着用吧

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第二行最好是the less time we enjoy ourselves 和前面的句式保持一致，如果这里改了，后面leisure time也应做相应的修改保证逻辑性
previous个人感觉在这里做重要不太合适
第二段第三行plans少s 同时这句话ahead of time换成in advance 以免time的重复
第二段最后一行holidays少s

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第二行最好是the less time we enjoy ourselves 和前面的句式保持一致，如果这里改了，后面leisure time也应做相应的修改保证逻辑性
previous个人感觉在这里做重要不太合适
第二段第三行plans少s 同时这句话ahead of time换成in advance 以免time的重复
第二段最后一行holidays少s
第三段according 要带to
If we mainly focus on brainwork, then we make plan to go outside on weekend or holiday这句话没主语
第四段第四行的meet换成confront好点
第五段considerable是相当大的，值得考虑的意思，反正一个形容词放着有点不知所云
总之这篇文章逻辑性强，有明显的主线辅线，只是内容有点少，尽量抓住听到或看到的所有内容，然后多注意细节，相信能拿到个不错的分数

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