能帮我改下作文?急用!改下语法和句子就好.如果可以改内容那就再好不过了.这是我的作文Michael JacksonThere is no doubt that Michael Jackson is one of the most outstanding artists in the world.You may say he was a super

能帮我改下作文?急用!改下语法和句子就好.如果可以改内容那就再好不过了.这是我的作文Michael JacksonThere is no doubt that Michael Jackson is one of the most outstanding artists in the world.You may say he was a super
能帮我改下作文?急用!改下语法和句子就好.如果可以改内容那就再好不过了.
这是我的作文
Michael Jackson
There is no doubt that Michael Jackson is one of the most outstanding artists in the world.You may say he was a superstar.But I would like to say he is the person who set a good example for me.
First of all,he let me know modest is very important.As a worldwide superstar,he is not arrogant.Actually he is low profile.I used to be very complacency,especially after I got some performance.But when I saw Jackson’s words and deeds on American Music Awards,everything changed.After he won the Best Singer Award,he said to the audiences that this award is not belonging to him but belong to all the fans.He just did what he was supposed to do.That made me understood no matter how high the class I am,the modest I should have as well.Another illustration of Michael is he let me understand be strict to myself is always helpful.In the past I was usually very lazy.I would like to put off the things which were supposed to be finished today.And when faced some difficult problems,I always let them be what they used to be.One day I saw a report about Michael’s rehearsal for his world tour concert.It said that he practiced a small gesture for nearly 3 hours.I felt very ashamed.From then on I stared to be finished everything on time and did everything carefully.Additionally,Michael also made me realize how important to be kind to others.He donated over 300 million dollars to 39 charities.And found Heal the World Foundation.In order to help poor children,he built his house like an amusement park and named it the Neverland as in the fairy tales.He sang for the victims of a natural calamity to raise money.When I saw the smiles on the victims’ faces I known that how powerful the kindness is.
This is Michael Jackson.Though he is no longer living,he still influences me.He is not only a superstar,but also the people who set me good examples.

能帮我改下作文?急用!改下语法和句子就好.如果可以改内容那就再好不过了.这是我的作文Michael JacksonThere is no doubt that Michael Jackson is one of the most outstanding artists in the world.You may say he was a super
第一段 superstar,but ...
因为这个同一个句子里的转折,所以还是用建议两个单句融成一个整句.
第二段
1.let me know that modesty...modest 是 adj.modesty才是 n.
2.is low profile 改为 is of low profile
因为low profile 是名词 不是形容词 所以加个 of
类是用法 very important = of importance
3.同样的小错误 complacency 是名词 ,改为 very complacent
4.everything was changed 万事的改变 均由你来完成的 所以含有被动 当然 在口语中就可以照你写的直接表达出来 但是书面就要严谨点
5.belong 是vi 就是不及物动词 没词态变化 改为is not belong to him but belongs to...
6.the modest I should have as well 改为 what I should have is modesty
7.Another illustration of M.is that ...being strict to ...表语从句后面动词用ing 形式
8.world tour concert 改为 World Tour Concerts 专有名词 起强调作用
9.要表达小动作 应该用 simple 而不是中文的small 动作用简单或复杂来表达
10.From then on I started to finish...,而非 stared
11.how important to being kind to others.
12.I knew that how powerful...
第三段
13.no longer living 改为 no longer alive
14.the people 改为 the person 如果想再强调语气 可以 the very person
从整篇来看 你的英文能力相当不错
就是粗心啊你
你看 句法你基本没错 很多都是疏忽造成的小小错误
以后要注意这些小地方啦

1.Actually he is low profile. I used to be very complacency, especially after I got some performance.
Actually he kept a low profile.I used to be cocky, especially after I got some achievement.

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1.Actually he is low profile. I used to be very complacency, especially after I got some performance.
Actually he kept a low profile.I used to be cocky, especially after I got some achievement.
2. And found Heal the World Foundation
and established the Heal the World Foundation
3.That made me understood no matter how high the class I am, the modest I should have as well
That made me understand no matter how successful I am, I should always be modest.
4.Another illustration of Michael is he let me understand be strict to myself is always helpful
And Micheal also let me understand be strict to myself is always helpful

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我嫉妒你，英文太好了.......

还不错，建议你找肥龙在天