我是雅思考生,写作不强,能不能帮忙批改这篇作文,这作文能不能5或5.13.Food can be produced cheaper if we use improved fertilizers and better machinery.Question:modern machinery and advanced farming techniques,However some of me

我是雅思考生,写作不强,能不能帮忙批改这篇作文,这作文能不能5或5.13.Food can be produced cheaper if we use improved fertilizers and better machinery.Question:modern machinery and advanced farming techniques,However some of me
我是雅思考生,写作不强,能不能帮忙批改这篇作文,这作文能不能5或5.
13.Food can be produced cheaper if we use improved fertilizers and better machinery.
Question:modern machinery and advanced farming techniques,
However some of methods may be dangerous for human health.,and have negative effects for local communities.
What is your opinion?
Answer:
The technique of agricultural is developing at a surprising speed and is solving the problem that the situation of Lacking of food.The destitute people will also have more food to eat and more choices of food can reach a most common household.But meanwhile,many disadvantages are appeared to show that methods are dangerous for human health.
For instance,food poisoning are happening every time in each country.Clearly,it is a serious problem that we should pay close attention when we have the food(with the remnants of chemical composition).especially some of the Contaminated food will do deeply harmful to your health.
Another disadvantage is also happening in our region.The wide use of modern machinery and advanced farming techniques will make the labor be too much.Afterwards ,they will crowd into the town and becoming a building worker ,a baby babysitters and so forth.So the problem comes.firstly,the local customer custom in there hometown will be lost.Secondly,the young children and the elderly will be the Family Left Behind.Mostly,it will be a great misfortune to the child who will not get any treasure from there parents.
Overalls,there is a conclusion that some of the method not only bing much harmful to our health,but also get unwell affection to our local communities and relatives.but that is not to say we should return to the firsthand.On the other hand ,some laws and regulations should limit to problem.the local government must shoulder this responsibility.

我是雅思考生,写作不强,能不能帮忙批改这篇作文,这作文能不能5或5.13.Food can be produced cheaper if we use improved fertilizers and better machinery.Question:modern machinery and advanced farming techniques,However some of me
你写一边倒,写点利再写弊,整个逻辑更完整.题目是食品生产机械化,添加剂什么的虽然给生产效率产量什么带来明显增长,但是过度使用会危害人身体健康,也有可能导致劳动力过剩.感觉你写劳动力过剩的比重有点大,所以你前面可以先写点这个带来的好处.5.5可以.

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中文的话：13。食品可以产生我们使用更便宜肥料和更好的机械改进。
问题:现代的机器和先进的农业技术,
然而有一些的方法可能是危险的,为人类health.地方社区的负面影响。
你的意见是什么?
答:
农业技术的发展速度惊人,是解决这个问题的国情缺乏食物。贫困的人们还将有更多的食物和更多的选择的食物可以达到最常见的家庭。但与此同时,许多不足之处似乎表明,方法是危...

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中文的话：13。食品可以产生我们使用更便宜肥料和更好的机械改进。
问题:现代的机器和先进的农业技术,
然而有一些的方法可能是危险的,为人类health.地方社区的负面影响。
你的意见是什么?
答:
农业技术的发展速度惊人,是解决这个问题的国情缺乏食物。贫困的人们还将有更多的食物和更多的选择的食物可以达到最常见的家庭。但与此同时,许多不足之处似乎表明,方法是危险的为人类的健康。
例如,每次发生食物中毒在每一个国家。显然,这是一个严重的问题,我们应该密切关注当我们吃(与残余的化学成分)的基础上的一些被污染的食物会深深对你的健康有害。
另一个不利条件是也发生地区。现代的广泛使用的机器和先进的农业技术将使劳动的太多了。后来,他们会涌进中国城镇并成为一个建筑工人,一个婴儿的保幼员等等。所以,问题comes.firstly,本地客户定制在那里的家乡将会丢失。其次,儿童和老年人就家庭的落在了后面。在很大程度上,这将是一个极大的不幸的孩子不让任何财宝在那里的父母。
工作服,有一个结论的一些方法不仅冰太多对我们的健康有害,但也得不适的感情,当地的社区和relatives.but这并不是说,我们应该回到一手。另一方面,一些法律、法规,地方政府应该限制问题必须肩负起这个责任。
应该是可以得到5分的

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