有谁能帮我修改一篇英文的邀请涵啊?Dear friends,You are invited to an English corner which is hold by *** school on Saturday September. 15th beginning at 7 PM. The topic of this week is: My favouriate film star. If you are interested i

有谁能帮我修改一篇英文的邀请涵啊?Dear friends,You are invited to an English corner which is hold by *** school on Saturday September. 15th beginning at 7 PM. The topic of this week is: My favouriate film star. If you are interested i
有谁能帮我修改一篇英文的邀请涵啊?
Dear friends,
You are invited to an English corner which is hold by *** school on Saturday September. 15th beginning at 7 PM. The topic of this week is: My favouriate film star. If you are interested in ,please have a good prepation and take part in.The address is at FuQiao Building in Hua Lin road. You can call at 63099661 or 63099662 to get further information. We look forward to your attending.
By ----------
有没有谁能帮我看不下这篇英文邀请涵有没有需要修改的？有没有哪里错了？

有谁能帮我修改一篇英文的邀请涵啊?Dear friends,You are invited to an English corner which is hold by *** school on Saturday September. 15th beginning at 7 PM. The topic of this week is: My favouriate film star. If you are interested i
Dear friends,
You are invited to an English corner which is hold by （*** school on Saturday September.15th beginning at 7 PM.）The topic of this week is:（ My favouriate film star.） If you are interested in ,please have a good prepation and take part in.The address is （at FuQiao Building in Hua Lin road.）You can call at 63099661 or 63099662 to get further information.We look forward to your attending.
（By ----------）
我把认为应修改的地方 用括号括起来了.按顺序建议该为：
1.某某学校是专有名词,开头字母都大写,包括学校的地一个字母.（建议该为.School at 7pm on Saturday Septembe 15th.）
2．加引号.既：”My Favourite Film Star"
3．at Hua Lin Road in Fu Qiao Building
4把再见去掉该为结尾的落款既学校的名称和写此邀请函的时间．

亲爱的朋友们，
邀请您一个英语角，是由持有***学校9周六。十五大开始，下午七时。专题本周：我国favouriate影星。如果您有兴趣，请有一个良好的制备和参与介入地址是在浮桥建设华林路。您可以致电63099661或63099662 ，以取得进一步资料。我们期待着您的出席。
由----------...

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亲爱的朋友们，
邀请您一个英语角，是由持有***学校9周六。十五大开始，下午七时。专题本周：我国favouriate影星。如果您有兴趣，请有一个良好的制备和参与介入地址是在浮桥建设华林路。您可以致电63099661或63099662 ，以取得进一步资料。我们期待着您的出席。
由----------

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亲爱的朋友,
您被邀请到在星期六是举行由*** 学校9月的英国角落。第15 起点下午7 点。这个星期题目是: 我的favouriate 电影明星。如果您是感兴趣, 请有一好prepation 和参与in.The 地址是在FuQiao 大厦在华・林路里。您能叫在63099661 或63099662 获得详细信息。我们盼望您出席。
由----------...

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亲爱的朋友,
您被邀请到在星期六是举行由*** 学校9月的英国角落。第15 起点下午7 点。这个星期题目是: 我的favouriate 电影明星。如果您是感兴趣, 请有一好prepation 和参与in.The 地址是在FuQiao 大厦在华・林路里。您能叫在63099661 或63099662 获得详细信息。我们盼望您出席。
由----------

收起