求5则英语笑话最好直接能在这里告诉我,最好有翻译……

求5则英语笑话最好直接能在这里告诉我,最好有翻译……
求5则英语笑话
最好直接能在这里告诉我,最好有翻译……

求5则英语笑话最好直接能在这里告诉我,最好有翻译……
这里有很多
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads,see how the farms looked,and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living.The city man saw a farmer in his yard,holding a pig up in his hands,and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree.The city man said to the farmer,"I see that your pig likes apples,but isn't that quite a waste of time?"The farmer replied,"What's time to a pig?"
一天,有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村,在乡间路上开着车,想看看农庄是什么样子,也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子.这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上,手中抱着一头猪,并把它举得高高的,好让它能够吃到树上的苹果.城里人对农夫说,"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的,但是,这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说,"时间对猪有什么意义?"
One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl:Father,I have sinned.
Preacher:What did you do,little girl?
Girl:Yesterday,I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher:Why?What did he do to you?
Girl:He touched my breast.
Preacher:You mean like this?(The guy did it.)
Girl:(A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher:That's no reason to call him that.
Girl:But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher:You mean like this?(He did it again.)
Girl:Yes,that's what he did.
Preacher:That's still no reason to call him that.
Girl:And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher:(evil laugh...) You mean like this?(And you-know-what)
Girl:(After a few minutes...) Ugh...Yeah,that's what he did...
Preacher:My dear girl,that's still no reason to call him a...
Girl:But he had AIDS!
Preacher:THAT SON OF A BITCH!
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother."How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger,"but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children.Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained,"Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿?
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画.
“看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀!”
“是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子.那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”
哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道：“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗.”
The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend."She asks me a question,then answers it herself,and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难,”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说,“她问我一个问题,然后自己回答了,过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的.”
Does the dog know the proverb,too?
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman,"don't be afraid.Don't you know the proverb:Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah,yes," answered the little boy."I know the proverb,but does the dog know the proverb,too?"
狗也知道这个谚语吗?
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子.
“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人.’”
“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”