求一英语笑话,要2人对话,也可以算是剧本,大概是5分钟左右的2人对话难度适中,

求一英语笑话,要2人对话,也可以算是剧本,大概是5分钟左右的2人对话难度适中,
求一英语笑话,要2人对话,
也可以算是剧本,大概是5分钟左右的2人对话
难度适中,

求一英语笑话,要2人对话,也可以算是剧本,大概是5分钟左右的2人对话难度适中,
Hu is leading China
Bush:Condi!Nice to see you.What's happening?
Condi:Sir,I have the report here about the new leader of China.
Bush:Great.Lay it on me.
Condi:Hu is the new leader of China.
Bush:That's what I want to know.
Condi:That's what I'm telling you.
Bush:That's what I'm asking you.Who is the new leader of China?
Condi:Yes.
Bush:I mean the fellow's name.
Condi:Hu.
Bush:The guy in China.
Condi:Hu.
Bush:The new leader of China.
Condi:Hu.
Bush:The Chinaman!
Condi:Hu is leading China.
Bush:Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi:I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
Bush:Well,I'm asking you.Who is leading China?
Condi:That's the man's name.
Bush:That's who's name?
Condi:Yes.
Bush:Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi:Yes,sir.
Bush:Yassir?Yassir Arafat is in China?I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi:That's correct.
Bush:Then who is in China?
Condi:Yes,sir.
Bush:Yassir is in China?
Condi:No,sir.
Bush:Then who is?
Condi:Yes,sir.
Bush:Yassir?
Condi:No,sir.
Bush:Look,Condi.I need to know the name of the new leader of China.Get me the Secretary General of the U.N.on the phone.
Condi:Kofi?
Bush:No,thanks.
Condi:You want Kofi?
Bush:No.
Condi:You don't want Kofi.
Bush:No.But now that you mention it,I could use a glass of milk.And then get me the U.N.
Condi:Yes,sir.
Bush:Not Yassir!The guy at the U.N.
Condi:Kofi?
Bush:Milk!Will you please make the call?
Condi:And call who?
Bush:Who is the guy at the U.
Condi:Hu is the guy in China.
Bush:Will you stay out of China?!
Condi:Yes,sir.
Bush:And stay out of the Middle East!Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi:Kofi.
Bush:All right!With cream and two sugars.Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi:Rice,here.
Bush:Rice?Good idea.And a couple of egg rolls,too.Maybe we should send some to the guy in China.And the Middle East.Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a se...

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A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
呵呵,一个比一个效率高.
Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!"
My Baby Swallowed a Bullet
Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ?
Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody."
Notes
1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一颗子弹
2. to point at: 对...瞄准
allybaby
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”
fool_fox
标题：I'm the boss
内容：The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
note:staff meeting:员工会议
Wife's picture
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you martinis all night long. But you go to tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife.When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."
note:tavern 酒馆, 客栈
martini 马提尼酒
peek/pi;k/ n.一瞥, 匆忙看过v.偷看

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这个是关于文化差异的.
一位中国男士在餐厅和他的朋友(一个位外国女士)在餐厅吃饭.中途,男的说他要去方便一下,女的问是什么意思.他说是去洗手间.女的恍然大悟.而后用完餐,女的问他们什么时候能再一起吃饭.男的说:"等你方便的时候"..
哈哈 简单吧 简单就自己翻译咯,初中水平就可以翻拉~...

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这个是关于文化差异的.
一位中国男士在餐厅和他的朋友(一个位外国女士)在餐厅吃饭.中途,男的说他要去方便一下,女的问是什么意思.他说是去洗手间.女的恍然大悟.而后用完餐,女的问他们什么时候能再一起吃饭.男的说:"等你方便的时候"..
哈哈 简单吧 简单就自己翻译咯,初中水平就可以翻拉~

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a Chinese boy was learning english
one day when he was walking on the street
he accidently run into a foreigh woman
he said: i am sorry
the woman said : i am sorry too
he ...

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a Chinese boy was learning english
one day when he was walking on the street
he accidently run into a foreigh woman
he said: i am sorry
the woman said : i am sorry too
he said : i am sorry three
the woman couldn't understand what he said
so the woman said: what are you sorry for?
the boy said : i am sorry five

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