求英语剧本,短并且幽默

求英语剧本,短并且幽默
求英语剧本,短并且幽默

求英语剧本,短并且幽默
The Missing Fossils
Scene 1 〈A Miracle In the Museum〉
Narrator: Stephen, a teenager who loved painting, was standing in front of the bones of a dinosaur.
Stephen: （reading the sign on the front of the display）”Tyranosaurs Rex ,from Argentina, on special loan to the National Museum of Natural Science for one month”
（He took out his notebook and pencil.）What a strange name! But these bones look beautiful. I just want to draw them!
（He began to draw, and he didn’t notice a woman was walking toward him.）
Woman: Hi! Mind if I look?
（Stephen jumped in surprise and almost dropped his notebook.）
Stephen: （feeling stupid）Oh, sure. Go ahead.
（He gave the notebook to the woman. She started thumbing past the drawings.）
Woman: Wow! You draw really well! Are you doing anything right now?
Stephen: No. Why?
（The woman didn’t answer. She tucked his notebook under her arm.）
Woman: Come along with me.
Narrator: The woman said with such authority that Stephen couldn’t disagree. So, they went upstairs to the forbidden area that only workers in the museum could go in.
（They walk to the right side of the stage.）
Woman: What’s your name?
Stephen: Stephen. Where are we going?
Woman: Nice to meet you Stephen, my name is Peg. I’m a student from Argentina. I study paleontology. My professor Raf brought me here because I speak English well.
Stephen: （with excitement）Paleontology? So do you… dig up bones?
Peg: Bingo! We are on loan with the bones you were drawing.（turning left）
Here we are, my professor’s office.
（A man was sitting at a desk , hunching over some books and boxes. There were
more boxes on the either side of him. ）
Peg: Raf! Look what I’ve found!
Raf: Eh? （without looking up）
Peg: Raf! I’ve found a boy who draws dinosaurs well!
Raf: What? （He stood up suddenly. The chair he sat on fell down, but he didn’t pay attention to it.）
Peg: This is Stephen, a talented drawer. Stephen, this is Professor Rafael de Leon.
Raf ＆ Stephen: Nice to meet you. （They shook hands.）
Peg: Raf, take a look at these drawings. （She handed him the notebook.）
Raf: Ah, an artist. （He turned the pages.）A good artist…
（He turned a few pages and stood up, turning to Stephen.） So, my boy…what are you doing now? I have an illustration project I want to start, but no one can help me…
Stephen: （jumped with excitement）What a stroke of luck!
Scene 2 〈An Argument〉
（Stephen and Peg were walking .）
Peg: How’s your work doing?
Stephen: （smiling）Great! The supplies that you gave me last week are wonderful. They really help me a lot.
Peg: It’s so nice to hear that. You do help us a lot…（She stopped talking. Instead of
her smile, she made arms crossed, looking directly to that where Raf was talking with two well-dressed men. They all looked tense.）
Stephen: （with lower voice）Oh-oh…
Peg: (She walked to Raf, standing on his right and taking a protective stance.)
Anything wrong?
Man : （talking to Peg with an oily voice）You must be Professor Leon’s student. I’m
Brian Firth and this is Paul Taylor.（introducing his partner）We are the owners of Tibia Maxima…
Peg: (interrupted him and smiled coldly) Ah yes, the bone smugglers. I read about the police raid, where they found the stolen dinosaur fossils…
Brian Firth: ( An embarrassed smile slowly filled his face while Paul Taylor turned red with anger) Eh, actually, we are running a completely different operation, strictly legal.
Peg: (smiled more coldly) Legal? What a fa-a-ascinating idea! But how?
Brian Firth: I’m so happy you asked. (reached into the breast pocket of his expensive linen suit) Here’s my card. We were just trying to persuade Professor De Leon to supply us with a few pieces…
Paul Taylor: (slowly relaxing his angry face) We’re willing to pay top dollars, of course.
Raf: (sighed and shook his head) You want me to sell my country’s national treasure
to private collectors, so they can decorate their fancy living room . Gentlemen,
as I have told you before, you and I are not on the same side of the fence. I
only work with museums and people who seek to educate the public.
Paul Taylor: A fine speech, Professor, but I know you are running out of money…
Raf: Money is of no concern to me. Only science is my goal.
Brian Firth: We’ll pay you enough to cover six month’s digging. You’ll be able to live in style and build a real research station…
Peg: Come on, Raf. (She crumpled the business card and tossed it on the floor.) We don’t have to listen to this.
Brian Firth: (smiled weirdly) Then, goodbye, dear Professor. You’ll know that money is everything soon—I promise, soon. (They left.)
Scene 3 〈The Missing Fossils〉
(Ref and Stephen were working. Peg ran into the office breathlessly. )
Peg: （yelling）Ref, I’ve got the new shipment of bones. But box 17 is lost!
Ref: （He stood up suddenly. His face was white.）What? Lost?
(Peg nodded painfully, even couldn’t say a word.)
Ref: Oh, no! (He fell down on the floor horribly upset, almost in tears.) That box
was my baby dinosaur: the complete immature Patagonytus puerti! Oh no…
Stephen: (slowly said) Maybe…it was stolen!
Peg: (shocked) You mean, those guys a few days ago…
Narrator: Ref and Peg started to call their friends for help. Stephen found that he couldn’t draw anymore. So he left the museum. But he didn’t really know where he was going until he found himself standing in front of…
Stephen: Tibia Maxima! This is the expensive store that the two hateful men own…
But wait! (looked inspired) Even an expensive store has a delivery bay where goods load…
Narrator: With heart pounding, Stephen slipped into the dark entrance and tried to find the box from Argentina, but he couldn’t. Suddenly, he heard a voice from the open door leading to the main store… (Stephen crept up to the door and listened.)
Woman A: Oh, this one is lovely. Where on earth did you get it?
Brian Firth: From Argentina. (Stephen listened more carefully.)
Man A: (talking to the woman sweetly) If you like it, I’ll buy it for you.
Woman A: (happily) Oh, it’s so sweet of you, darling! Look what it is named: “Pa-ta-go-ny-tus puerti”! (Stephen froze.) I guess I’ll have the rest of my life learning how to say it!
Narrator: After a while, the man and the woman decided to take the fossils home a few days later. So Firth and Taylor held the box to the delivery bay, laughing. (Stephen hid himself behind some boxes.)
Paul Taylor: My, my, my. We’re going to be quite rich!
Brian Firth: We certainly are! This is a fine idea, my friend, a fine idea!
(They put the box down and went out of the delivery bay.)
Stephen: (He made sure that no one else was in the bay and crawled out of those boxes, to the box from Argentina. He looked at the lid on the box.)
“Professor Rafael de Leon. National Museum of Natural Science.” This is the lost box 17!
(He held the box and ran out of the bay carefully.)
Narrator: When Stephen came back to the museum, Raf and Peg were sitting sad on the floor and didn’t say anything. Stephen opened the box and handed it to Raf.
Stephen: Look what I found. (He said slightly.)
Raf: (He unwrapped the paper on the skull dispiritedly, but soon an amazing smile
stretched through his face. Peg also looked at the bones surprisingly.)
(He whispered.) “Patagonytus puerti.”
Scene 4 〈Another Miracle〉
Narrator: Time flies. It has been one month since Stephen helped Raf and Peg in the museum. Today is the last day that Raf and Peg stay in Taiwan. They eat lunch in a fast-food restaurant.
Raf: I spoke with our friends in Argentina this morning. They are very excited.
Peg: (with happiness) Why… (She turned to Stephen, who was eating a hamburger.)
Hey, Stephen, you’re awfully quiet. What’s wrong?
Stephen: (looked sad) Well, I’m just thinking about what I’m going to do after you leave for Argentina.
Peg: Oh, what? (slammed down her drink) Raf, didn’t you ask him?
Raf: (embarrassed) Eh…I forgot… (Peg looked angry.)
Stephen: Ah, excuse me. What are you talking about?
Raf: Sorry, Stephen. I forgot to ask you: How would you like to come to Argentina
for a month to continue drawing for us?
Stephen: (jumped to his feet) Let’s do it!
The End
《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧）
Wanderseveryfivemiles
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!
(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?
MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)
Act1
(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum?
JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law”.
L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?
JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour
son.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)
Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)
L:Mum,I’mback!
LM:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?
L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.
LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!Whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
tome.Lookatyourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?And
I’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“Ifyoudaughter
Haven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”Nowyouarefreeagain,I’llgo
andtellhim.(下)
L(惊愕):What?Themayor’sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)WhatasillythingIhavedone!(下)
Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下) Er!Howsmelly!Theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!Ihavetowashthemmyself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’msohungry!Butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Now
shehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.
JM(上):Where’smybreakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’tshegotupyet?
J:Mum,can’tyouremember?Lunchhasgone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,totellyouthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
J(立正敬礼):Yesmadam!
Act4
(J开心地走着,忽然跳出来三个强盗)
A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
B:AndIplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头,但踩到了A的脚)
AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!
J(搜遍了每一个口袋,掏出1角硬币):Is1maoenough?
(三强盗晕倒状,接着三人聚在一边商量)
A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!
B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenothingtoeattonight!
C:Iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoand
robthewedding!
A&B:Goodidea!
J(惊讶):What?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?It’simpossible!
AB&C:Why?Aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?I’llgo
withyou.YoutakethemoneyandItakethebride.
B:Haveyougotanyexperience?
J:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票,上书＄1,000,000)
Act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上,J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(J和三强盗跃至台中)
ABC&J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!
A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!
B:AndIplantedonetree.
C:Ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
J:Giveusallyourmoney!
(L听到J的声音,掀起了盖头)
L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)
(MS大怒,挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲,MS打中了J身后的L,L晕倒)
J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（挥拳向MS冲去）
(J与MS混战,JM上,以拐杖击晕MS)
(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L,关切地问):Honey,howareyou?
L(哭状):Ihurtalot!
J:Don’tcrybaby.I’llgoandfetchthemedicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Waitforme! (跑下)
(音乐起 CanYouCelebrate)

题目;学校图书馆工作管理系统的分析设计
系统概述需求分析业务统程图
功能分析图,数据字典
功能结构图设计
开发工具,系统实施部分
代码设计
存储文件格式设计,输入设计
我的E—mail:[email protected]
谢题目;学校图书馆工作管理系统的分析设计
系统概述需求分析业务统程图
功能分析图...

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题目;学校图书馆工作管理系统的分析设计
系统概述需求分析业务统程图
功能分析图,数据字典
功能结构图设计
开发工具,系统实施部分
代码设计
存储文件格式设计,输入设计
我的E—mail:[email protected]
谢题目;学校图书馆工作管理系统的分析设计
系统概述需求分析业务统程图
功能分析图,数据字典
功能结构图设计
开发工具,系统实施部分
代码设计
存储文件格式设计,输入设计
我的E—mail:[email protected]
谢谢了！十分火急谢了！十分火急

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