英语自我介绍（请帮忙修改）要参加一个口语的测试,写了篇自我介绍.有点前言不搭后语的感觉,大概还有很多语法错误,希望帮忙修改下.http://hi.baidu.com/%B0%D7%D2%B9%CE%AA%B8%E8/blog/item/21d46672a9a5f515

英语自我介绍（请帮忙修改）要参加一个口语的测试,写了篇自我介绍.有点前言不搭后语的感觉,大概还有很多语法错误,希望帮忙修改下.http://hi.baidu.com/%B0%D7%D2%B9%CE%AA%B8%E8/blog/item/21d46672a9a5f515
英语自我介绍（请帮忙修改）
要参加一个口语的测试,写了篇自我介绍.有点前言不搭后语的感觉,大概还有很多语法错误,希望帮忙修改下.
http://hi.baidu.com/%B0%D7%D2%B9%CE%AA%B8%E8/blog/item/21d46672a9a5f5158701b0d1.html

英语自我介绍（请帮忙修改）要参加一个口语的测试,写了篇自我介绍.有点前言不搭后语的感觉,大概还有很多语法错误,希望帮忙修改下.http://hi.baidu.com/%B0%D7%D2%B9%CE%AA%B8%E8/blog/item/21d46672a9a5f515
朋友：
我大致地看了一下你的文章,帮你修改了一下.
Good morning!
It is my pleasure to have this opportunity for the interview.I hope I can make a great performance today.I am confident that I can be succeessful.
Now I will introduce myself.
My name is Wang Xiaodi.In Chinese language,"Xiao" means “natural and unrestrained”and”di “is a kind of herbal medicine,it’s very useful.The name shows my parents’ expectation and best wishes.
I am 16 years old.According to Chinese Zodiac Signs,my sign is rooster.Like the rooster ,I am outgoing 、soulful 、organized and I have leadership experience.Since Grade 2,I have been the monitor of the class,the teachers and my classmates had trustd me and liked me very much.They say I’m easy to get along with.If they have any questions,they usually talk to me for help.
My school days are very regular,maybe not very relaxing but substantial.My favorte subjects are Chinese 、English and Chemistry.These courses help me to learn cultures and mysteries of the world.I think math and physics are challenging,they make me feel exctied.
In my free time ,I Iike reading.It enables me to get to know a more beautiful world.For example,I like Jules-Verne.He shows us how a great man’s fancy would be!I also like Tagore,I hope I can have a life which reflects to his poem “Let life be beautiful like summer flowers and death like autumn leaves.”I like drawing,I have learned drawing for many years.I have won prizes for my paintings.
I have a balanced eating habit and a healthy body.I love swimming;also I’m learning yoga.Maybe I can’t run very fast ,but I have perseverance,I believe ”Never give up” and It helps me to reach the best of my abilities .
In these days,I am reading a book.It says “Most people are not necessarily to a particular stage,but all the stages that he goes are the best ones.”For whatever I am enduring,I would try my best and make my own stage in my life.
Thank you for listening to my presentation.
这篇文章写得还不错,词汇方面我给你改了很多,还有语法.
小妹妹,你不妨努力练习自己的写作,让自己更上一层楼.
也许我可以帮你,你可以不断地写自己的文章,然后发到我的邮箱,我们一起进步.我天天都会查邮件的.
希望能够帮到你..

It is really my honor to我觉得换成I'm truly honoured to 比较好.
I am confident that I can succeed换成I'm confident enough to succeed.
Now I will introduce myself用Now please allow me to int...

全部展开

It is really my honor to我觉得换成I'm truly honoured to 比较好.
I am confident that I can succeed换成I'm confident enough to succeed.
Now I will introduce myself用Now please allow me to introduce myself to you比较正式.
我属鸡的那一长句就直接用I was born in the year of chicken既直接又简单,不要搞得很纷繁复杂比较好.
talk with me for help中的talk with不能很好的传达你的意思,用turn to me for help吧~
favorte subjests ~~~应该是favourite 或者favorite....楼主拼写要注意噢!
In my free time 一般来说~~把in换成during比较好~~
I Iike reading .,It let me 是lets~
I have learned drawing formany years now~~~把最后那个now换成already比较好,正好也和前面的have相呼应.
whatever I’ll face关于face,这样的用法是不正确的,有两种用法,whatever I'll be faced with或者whatever I'll be facing....不过一般来说,前面一种用的比较多一点.
楼主的文章不错哟!~~继续加油哈!~~~以上只是我个人拙见.

收起

自我介绍还是简洁一点为好，啰嗦的话听的人未必有那耐性。至于语法就不必太在乎了，口语嘛，多少有点语法问题，不要紧的。又不是写作文。
英语讲究强的逻辑性，句与句之间多用连词。改了一些，自己再研究一下，算是抛砖引玉吧。
Good morning!
It is my honor to have this opportunity for the interview.I am sure...

全部展开

自我介绍还是简洁一点为好，啰嗦的话听的人未必有那耐性。至于语法就不必太在乎了，口语嘛，多少有点语法问题，不要紧的。又不是写作文。
英语讲究强的逻辑性，句与句之间多用连词。改了一些，自己再研究一下，算是抛砖引玉吧。
Good morning!
It is my honor to have this opportunity for the interview.I am sure I can make a good performance today .I am confident that I can succeed.
既然后面已经说你很自信，前面那句不要好像那么不肯定了。
Now let me introduce myself.
My name is Wang Xiaodi.The name shows my parents’ expectation and best wishes to me. (没必要解释这么多，英文跟中文不同，如果跟老外介绍，他也不懂，跟自己中国人说更没必要。）
I am 16 years old ,according to Chinese Zodiac Signs,I was born in the year of Rooster. Like the rooster ,I am outgoing 、soulful 、organized. And I have stronge leadership . Since Grade 2,I have been the monitor of the class. My teachers and my classmates trust me and like me very much.They say I’m easy to get along with. And if they have any problems ,they usually talk to me for help.
My school days are very regular,maybe not very relaxing but substantial.My favorte subjests are Chinese 、English and chemistry,they help me learn culture and mysteries the of the world.Also I think maths and physics are challenging,they make me exctied.
In my free time ,I Iike reading .,It makes me know a more beautiful world.One of the authors I like is Jules-Verne. He shows us how great man’s fancy can be！I also like Tagore,I hope I can have a life like his poem says that” Let life be beautiful like summer flowers and death like autumn leaves.”Another hobby is drawing。 I have learned drawing for many years. And some of my works have won the prizes.
I have a balanced eating habit and a healthy body. My favourite sport is swimming. Now I’m learning yoga. It is very interesting and helpful. Maybe I can’t run very fast ,but I have perseverance. I believe ”Never give up” and It helps me do my best .
These days I read a book,It says “Most successful people may not fasten to a particular stage, they have their own stage everywhere”(原话是最厉害的人并不一定要一个特定的舞台，而是走到哪里都是舞台，这个不大会说所以用翻译器翻的，大概不对)So whatever I’ll face,I’ll try my best and make my own stage.
Thank you

收起

我仅仅给出一些我的建议，我引用了你的部分原文，加括号的是我建议的表述法，其他的也可以不作修改。
想说你属鸡，生肖属相是中国的，用英文做简短自我介绍时可以不用，不熟练的话反而容易出错。（Like the rooster ,就去掉吧）I am outgoing 、soulful 、organized . Since Grade 2,I have been the monitor of the ...

全部展开

我仅仅给出一些我的建议，我引用了你的部分原文，加括号的是我建议的表述法，其他的也可以不作修改。
想说你属鸡，生肖属相是中国的，用英文做简短自我介绍时可以不用，不熟练的话反而容易出错。（Like the rooster ,就去掉吧）I am outgoing 、soulful 、organized . Since Grade 2,I have been the monitor of the class, teachers and my classmates all trust me and like me very much.（They say I’m easygoing and warm-hearted.）最后这句的说法比较简洁明了。
My school days are very （ordinary？regular？）,maybe not very relaxing but substantial.My favorte subjests are Chinese 、English and chemistry,they help me learn culture and mysteries of the world.Also I think maths and physics are challenging,they make me exctied.
In my free time ,I Iike reading .（It opens a more beautiful world in front of me ).For example I like Jules-Verne.He shows us how great man’s fancy can be！I also like Tagore,I hope I can (live like his poem）” Let life be beautiful like summer flowers and death like autumn leaves.”
I believe( in)”Never give up” and It helps me (to)do my best .
These days I read a book,It says “Most people are not necessarily to a particular stage, but went all the stage”(这个我也不知道……可以换一些其它的励志性的话，比如说，who laugh last who laugh best 之类的)

收起