大学英语搞笑剧本如题

大学英语搞笑剧本如题
大学英语搞笑剧本如题

大学英语搞笑剧本如题
一天出租车司机Tommy遇到了很多奇怪的事情.烦人的女孩、孕妇、抢匪、不管事的警察,甚至还遇到了鬼. Cast Erin Chang: Robber Debby Tsai: Police officer Serrin Lee: Betel nut girl Alec Zhao: Ghost student Leo Lee: Taxi driver Yi-ling Chen: Pregnant woman ——————————————————————————– Summary This story talks about a poor taxi driver, Tommy, who meets many strange things in one day. First, he carries a Betel Nut Girl who wants to harass him. Second, a pregnant woman makes him feel nervous. Third, he carries a robber and meets a police officer who only manages traffic. At last, he carries a ghost student. Tommy: Hello, my name is Tommy. Serving you is my honor. Where would you like to go? Betel nut girl: Hi! Tommy. I’m going to Chong-Shan North Road, please. Tommy: Ok, Chong-Shan North Road, no problem. Um? I remember there’s only a Chong-Shan East Road. Miss, are you sure you’re going to Chong-Shan North Road? Betel nut girl: Um, I’m not sure. You just drive. Maybe I will remember where it is later. Betel nut girl: How old are you? Are you married? You’re probably not married since you’re so young. Do you have a girlfriend? Tommy: Um…miss, we are almost at Chong-Shan East Road. Do you want to have a look? Betel nut girl: Oh! Not here. By the way, don’t you feel tired after driving all day long? Maybe I can help you relax. Tommy: What…what do you want to do? Take your hands off me or I’ll scream! Betel nut girl: I did nothing! You just missed a nice chance. Stop the car, I want to get off. Tommy: (Relived) Great! The total is 155 dollars, Thank you. Betel nut girl: Um! Take it! Pregnant woman: Hey! Taxi! Pregnant woman: Thanks. You are real a very kind man. Tommy: Where are you going? Pregnant woman: Hospital, please. Tommy: You’re going to the prenatal checkup, right? It must be very tiring carrying a baby. Pregnant woman: Yeah. It’s almost nine months. Tommy: Woo. Congratulations. Pregnant woman: Thank you. Pregnant woman: (screaming) Tommy: Are you ok? Pregnant woman: (screaming) Tommy: Is it time now? Are you going to deliver your baby now? I will drive as fast as I can. Stay down. Pregnant woman: (screaming) Tommy: We’re almost there. Pregnant woman: (screaming) Tommy: Here we are. Pregnant woman: Are we at the hospital? Well, how much is it? Tommy: Aren’t you going into labor? Pregnant woman: Me? Are you kidding? It’s still a long time before the expected date of childbirth. Tommy: What? Well, what were you just doing? Pregnant woman: Oh, I was just practicing! This is my first time to have a baby, you know. Practice makes perfect! I need to be ready so it will go smoothly. Tommy: Practice! All right… well, the total is one hundred twenty dollars. Tommy: This woman was so strange! I thought she was going to deliver the baby in my car! Robber: Get out of here, quickly! Tommy: A strange pregnant woman just got off my car and now here comes a robber. Tommy: Where do you want to go? Robber: Shut up! Just drive! Tommy: Hey…Hey. Be careful, there’s no eye in bullets. Robber: Shut up! Just drive your car. Tommy: Ok! Ok! You are the boss. Robber: Hum…your gold necklace is very good looking. If it were on my neck, that would be nice. Tommy: Oh…com…come on, don’t do this to me. This is a fake one. I just try to look tough by wearing it. Robber: STOP nonsense! Don’t treat me like a fool, I warn you! I will shoot you! Tommy: OK! OK! Take it easy. My mouth is sealed. Robber: …. I don’t want to do this …really… but I have 6 brothers, 7 sisters and 8 kids to feed. I even have to sell chewing gums, raise pigs. The worse of all, my husband just got out of the jail…I really have no choice. Tommy: Don’t be so sad…. Here is tissue. Robber: Thank you. Now give me your gold necklace! Hurry up! Do you want to eat bullets! Tommy: But…but…but…. Robber: Just hand it to me or I’ll become a really bad guy! Tommy: I don’t want to die yet. The police: Beep~Beep~ stop the car. Tommy: OH! Thank God! I am safe now! Hey, cop, a robber wants to rob me and…. Police officer: Show me your license and registration. Tommy: But…sir.…I got a robber in my back…. Police officer: I only watch out for traffic! The public security is not my business. Tommy: Not your business? But… Police officer: Here’s your ticket. You were speeding. Tommy: But I got a robber in my car! She told me if I couldn’t drive fast enough, she’d shoot me. Police officer: And where is the robber? Tommy: Just right over….what! She’s gone; she was here just now…. < p>Police officer: See….your lie is stupid… Remember to take the ticket. Tommy: Sir! Sir! Tommy: I’m so unlucky. Today is not my day! Oh, no! How did I come to this middle-of-nowhere? Someone’s waving at me. Who would take a taxi in this strange place? Tommy: Hello! Serving you is my honor. Where do you want to go? Ghost student: To my home, please. Tommy: Um…can you say it more clearly? I don’t know where your home is. Ghost student: Oh, my home is located on Ta-Du Mountain. Tommy: No problem. Um… it’s an unusual place to live. Ghost student: Yes. It’s very special. My ancestors all lived here. Tommy: Oh! You’ve lived here for a long time, right? Ghost student: That’s right. Tommy: Here we are, but I don’t see any houses around. By the way, it’s so dark here. Ghost student: Don’t be so surprised. We’re in the mountain. Tommy: Are you sure your home is here? Ghost student: Yes. How much is it? Tommy: Um…The total is 100 dollars. Ghost student: I only have a 500 dollars bill. Tommy: That’s OK, I can give you change. Ghost student: There you go. Tommy: Um… What’s this? Ghost student: Money. Tommy: But…where did he go? Oh, no!…This is…ghost money…(screaming)