帮忙改改我的英文作文,并帮我写个conclusionDear editor:How are you?Last weekend,I had purchase your newspaper office’s magazine,which is called《military》 .It is a fantastic magazine and I really like it.In your magazine,I saw an ar

帮忙改改我的英文作文,并帮我写个conclusionDear editor:How are you?Last weekend,I had purchase your newspaper office’s magazine,which is called《military》 .It is a fantastic magazine and I really like it.In your magazine,I saw an ar
帮忙改改我的英文作文,并帮我写个conclusion
Dear editor:
How are you?Last weekend,I had purchase your newspaper office’s magazine,which is called《military》 .It is a fantastic magazine and I really like it.In your magazine,I saw an article,which discussion about China should or should not to build up an aircraft carrier?
Recently,I often heard about this news.This news has aroused extensive attention from the society.Arguments also aroused between different groups of people with different views.
People that act supportive argue that building an aircraft carrier will increase military power and gain a greater defendant at the frontier.As well as China nowadays has sufficient level of technology,its time for China to showoff with its high technology,and many other countries already has carriers.Last but not least,the construction of aircraft carriers can enhance national confidence.
There is also great number of oppositions,and they said that making aircraft carrier would be a waste of money; this money should be spent on infrastructure,as China is still developing and budget is in great need.Apart from that,Chinese Navy is well sufficient to resist foreign enemy,there have no use for aircraft carrier at all.They also point out that many technical difficulties and high maintenance costs involving in building an aircraft carrier,which is a significant problem.
In my opinion,China should to build an aircraft carrier; I will use four ways to prove of my opinions.Firstly,China's energy demand has even more increased with the development of the China’s economy,most of the energy source will be transported by sea.There are some regional countries nearby the petroleum transportation line,in case these countries conflict with China,they will probably cut off China's transport line.Moreover,china’s naval force crossing long range would do nothing to even a small country (has air force) if we have no powerful air force,and let alone the regional powered country like India.if China conflict with India and the India Navy aircraft carrier battle group would cut off some transport lines of China easily (e.g.in the Persian Gulf),which will be a devastating srike to a economic power country.Secondly,Build an aircraft could solve some territory problems and plays deterrent role.Other country will stop adventurous action because of Chinese strong aircraft force.Thirdly,Build up an aircraft carrier is helpful to solve Taiwan issue.Our aircraft carrier has certain deterrent to Taiwan.If they have to range a war,china's aircraft carrier could give them a heavy hit.At the Last,build up an aircraft carrier will help Chinese navy to be in progress transforming,make the Chinese navy change from coastal waters troops becoming the troops having distant ocean doing battle,and become the internationalization navy.

帮忙改改我的英文作文,并帮我写个conclusionDear editor:How are you?Last weekend,I had purchase your newspaper office’s magazine,which is called《military》 .It is a fantastic magazine and I really like it.In your magazine,I saw an ar
have no powerful air force一般写成don't have powerful force
let alone the regional powered country like India改

1.Last weekend, I had purchase your newspaper office’s magazine
had purchase 改为purchased
2.which discussion about China should or should not to build up an aircraft carrier
discussion 改为di...

全部展开

1.Last weekend, I had purchase your newspaper office’s magazine
had purchase 改为purchased
2.which discussion about China should or should not to build up an aircraft carrier
discussion 改为discussion,to build up改为build up.
3.Recently, I often heard about this news
heardhear
4.its time for China to showoff with its high technology
去掉with,its 改成it's
5. and many other countries already has carriers
has改为have
6.There is also great number of oppositions
a great number
7. China should to build an aircraft carrier
去掉to
8. I will use four ways to prove of my opinions
去掉of
9.Build an aircraft could solve some territory problems and plays deterrent role.
plays改为play
10.At the Last
去掉the
To conclude it,I think an aircraft carrier is very nessary to our country in many aspects,even though it needs a lot of money,It'll brng many benefits.So I strongly support it to be built!

收起

写conclusion就没那水平了，但还是可以指出一个小小的问题，第一段最后一句中的discussion应该是discuss吧，还有，我也赞成笔者的观点，希望能被编辑选上

In your magazine, I saw an article, which (discussed )about (wether)China should build up an aircraft carrier (or not)?
Arguments also (were) aroused diffrent groups of people with different view...

全部展开

In your magazine, I saw an article, which (discussed )about (wether)China should build up an aircraft carrier (or not)?
Arguments also (were) aroused diffrent groups of people with different views.
People that (hold) supportive (arguement) that building an aircraft carrier will increase military power and gain a greater defendant at the frontier.
(it's )time for China to (show off)its high technology, and many other countries already (have) carriers.Last but not least, the construction of aircraft carriers can (be enhanced) national confidence.
There is also (a) great number of oppositions,
They also point out that many technical difficulties and high maintenance costs involving in building an aircraft carrier, which (are significant problems).
In my opinion, China (should) build an aircraft carrier; I will use four (pionts) to prove of my opinions.
Firstly, China's energy demand has (even去掉) more increased with the development of the China’s economy, most of the energy （resource) will be transported by sea. There are some regional countries nearby the petroleum transportation line, (in case of)these (countries' )conflict with China, they will probably cut off China's transport line.Moreover, china’s naval force crossing long range would (have nothing to do with) even a small country (has air force) if we have no powerful air force, and let the regional powered country like India (alone). if China conflict with India and the India Navy aircraft carrier battle group would cut off some transport lines of China easily (e.g. in the Persian Gulf), which will be a devastating srike to a economic power country. Secondly, (building )an aircraft could solve some territory problems and (play)deterrent role. Other (countries) will stop adventurous action because of Chinese strong aircraft force. Thirdly, (building ) up an aircraft carrier is helpful to solve Taiwan issue. Our aircraft carrier has certain deterrent to Taiwan. If they have to range a war, china's aircraft carrier could give them a heavy hit. (At Last,) (building ) up an aircraft carrier will help Chinese navy to be in progress transforming, make the Chinese navy change from coastal waters troops (to) the troops having distant ocean doing battle, and become the internationalization navy.
先改成这样吧！

收起

had purchase 改成 purchased
newspaper office’s 中间加一个of
discussion 改成 disuss
about China 中间加一个whether
should not to 改成 not
aroused 改成 arosed
from the society中from 用in 替代

全部展开

had purchase 改成 purchased
newspaper office’s 中间加一个of
discussion 改成 disuss
about China 中间加一个whether
should not to 改成 not
aroused 改成 arosed
from the society中from 用in 替代
its time 中its 改成it's
show off with 中with是多余的，删去
already has carriers 语序错误，是has already
of oppositions中间加一个the
said 改成say ，全文时态应该统一
making aircraft carrier 改成 making aircraft carriers
this money 改成and which money
there have no use 改成 it/there is of no use
should to build 删去to，should 后面加原型
my opinions中opinions去掉s，只有一个支持的观点
nearby改成near
in case 后面加一个of
have no powerful air force一般写成don't have powerful force
let alone the regional powered country like India改成let the regional powered country alone,like India 语序错误
a economic power country 中a 改成an
Secondly, Build 中Bulid改成building
Other country 中country应用复数形式
couclusion可以是
Compared with the two different opinion,I think it's much better for China to build an aircraft carrier,and it is more necessary than important.So in one word,China should build an aircraft carrier.

收起