求大神看看我的GRE作文,感激不尽I agree with the speaker's broad statement that the ability of human to think for themselves will deteriorate under some circumstances if we rely on technology too much.However,the speaker overlooks the bene

求大神看看我的GRE作文,感激不尽I agree with the speaker's broad statement that the ability of human to think for themselves will deteriorate under some circumstances if we rely on technology too much.However,the speaker overlooks the bene
求大神看看我的GRE作文,感激不尽
I agree with the speaker's broad statement that the ability of human to think for themselves will deteriorate under some circumstances if we rely on technology too much.However,the speaker overlooks the benefits brought from the technology.So,at least to some extent,the assertion might be too extreme.
I concede that the ability of humans will deteriorate if we couldn't use the technology properly.Adimittedly,although the technology develops at a fast speed,people become stupid and short-sighted in some cases.First,we become too lazy to think for ourselves because the intelligent machines are so smart that they can help us diagnose diseases,draw up plans,and solves difficult problems efficiently.We always seek help from the machines at once when meeting trouble.As time passes,we may lose some basic skills,including the skill to think.Moreover,the technology leads to some trouble that makes society chaos-for instance,the environmental pollution,the threat of nuclear pollution,the conflicts between countries,and so forth.More and more question will appear if we can't use technology in a right way.From that perspective,the technology do harm for people indeed.
Aside from the foregoing two respects,however,I fundamentally disagree with speaker's claim.For one thing,our living standard has improved with the help of technology.Consider,for example,technology helps us improve our medical level,average lifetime,and living quality-all of which are important for the society.We can think better after solving the problem about adequate food and cloth.Besides,the technology makes it possible to communicate with others anytime and anywhere,we can share thoughts each other easily,and the exchange of thought is helpful for our ability of thinking.Most important,however,machines are designed to help people.Thus,they are only auxiliary role to the humans.Just imagine,there can't be any machine without the thought of humans.So,as we invent smarter machines,our ability to think has improved indeed.
In sum,technology is only for the service of human,but it is of importance.Our life couldn't develop apart from it.Accordingly,we humans should use it properly to help us create more useful things.

求大神看看我的GRE作文,感激不尽I agree with the speaker's broad statement that the ability of human to think for themselves will deteriorate under some circumstances if we rely on technology too much.However,the speaker overlooks the bene
楼主可以把作文发到尚友GRE备考区,里面很多GRE考友们和老师们在讨论难题,

写的还不错但有小地方还可以改，同上

如果能在第二段加入如might/will等词会更好。
.From that perspective, the technology do (应为does) harm
-可以被；代替
exchange of thought (应为thoughts，因为你不只有一个想法)
without the thought （应为thoughts，不解释）of humans

全部展开

如果能在第二段加入如might/will等词会更好。
.From that perspective, the technology do (应为does) harm
-可以被；代替
exchange of thought (应为thoughts，因为你不只有一个想法)
without the thought （应为thoughts，不解释）of humans
要总结的话可以这样：In conclusion/In a nutshell等等
总体而言句子通顺，语法恰当，没有什么太大的问题
有什么疑问可以追问，谢谢

收起