求帮忙评价一下托福作文打个分~Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement:Students are more influenced by their teachersthan by their friends.Since teachers are frequently called metaphoricallygardeners,it seems that this statem

求帮忙评价一下托福作文打个分~Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement:Students are more influenced by their teachersthan by their friends.Since teachers are frequently called metaphoricallygardeners,it seems that this statem
求帮忙评价一下托福作文打个分~
Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement:
Students are more influenced by their teachersthan by their friends.
Since teachers are frequently called metaphoricallygardeners,it seems that this statement do makes sense.However I hold a firmview that students are more likely to be affected by their friends based onreasons follow.
Firstly,the length of time of getting onwith students is fundamental for influence.Apparently,students only have opportunitiesto get along with teachers during class with most of these time concerning textbook,exam and so forth.When it comes to friends,however,things are different.Friends company each other nearly every minute in the whole day especially for students.For example,a student might be influenced by his friends while they hang outaround the school,eat lunch together or more often,take a class together.Thus,how could a teacher compare a whole day companied friend?
Secondly,it is much easier for students tobe influenced by their friends for a myriad of common topics they have.As Iindicate above,topics between students and teachers are mostly tiresome and utilitarianconcentrating on grade.Compared with this,topics among friends are morecolorful which will of course influence students in many aspects and in variousways.Let’s take one typical topics in as examples.Gossip is the permanent topicbetween girls and while they are talking about it,they are influencing eachother by their juvenile but sharp-cut opinion of some stars’ behaviors like a superstarcheated his girlfriend.Effects like this play a non-ignorable role in theconstruction of students’ own world view.
The last but most significant reason isthat students are closer with their friends rather than teachers.Normally,onaccount of a long-term education about respect to teacher,students only treatteachers as a distant emotionless person.What even worse is the students’reverse physiology that makes them do the exactly contrary thing that theirteachers tell them to.But among friends,they are in similar age and are equaltherefore they respect each other and are easily to be convinced or influenced.For instance,a teacher appeals student to donate money for some reasonsometimes ends up with nothing but critic and disgust while a friend’s donationitself would push others to do it too.
All these reasons and instances above give steadilysupport to my point of view that students are more influenced by their friendsinstead of teachers.
QAQ高手们能不能说下改进的方向~对自己的水平实在是心里没底,也不知道接下来该怎么办了.

求帮忙评价一下托福作文打个分~Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement:Students are more influenced by their teachersthan by their friends.Since teachers are frequently called metaphoricallygardeners,it seems that this statem
楼上也太敷衍了吧.
各种空格没打不是什么大问题,但比如“this statement do makes sense”就不该出现,应为“does make sense”.
无论句号逗号后面都必须有空格.
如果你认为第三点最重要,那就把它放在第一点的位置.（其实为觉得第一点和第三点差别不大,你可以合并他们再加一个反方观点）
如果我打分的话,按你综合写作满分算,应该写作是24左右.