雅思小作文评分和修改.The chart reveal an the change in the number of British people use Internet over the period from1995to present.In general,We are easy to find,In 1995 only few people used the Internet.but in 1995 later,We can find used

雅思小作文评分和修改.The chart reveal an the change in the number of British people use Internet over the period from1995to present.In general,We are easy to find,In 1995 only few people used the Internet.but in 1995 later,We can find used
雅思小作文评分和修改.
The chart reveal an the change in the number of British people use Internet over the period from1995to present.
In general,We are easy to find,In 1995 only few people used the Internet.but in 1995 later,We can find used the Internet of UK people is increase every year,as can be seen from the chart,the great change taken place in1995to2005 by 25 percent.And now,the figure reach to sixty percent.
From the information shown,We can find the male and female used Internet figure is rise every year,At the first,used Internet female just percentage of ten.However,as people increase as,nowadays the number of man and women has been flat..They're all reached sixty percent.

雅思小作文评分和修改.The chart reveal an the change in the number of British people use Internet over the period from1995to present.In general,We are easy to find,In 1995 only few people used the Internet.but in 1995 later,We can find used
4.5分
语法错误：
第一句 reveals the Internet
第二句 it is easy to discover（但仍然不好,换做it was evident that...） In 小写 only a few
第三句 整个错得离谱,按照你的意思,正确的语法是：After 1995, the UK Internet users kept increasing steadily,while the most significant ascend of 25% during the period from 1995 to 2005 could be observed from the chart（别老说从图上可见,题目就是让你描述图,没必要老是重复提这点,多余）.
第四句 now太口语,the current number of UK Internet users reaches 60 percent. reach及物动词,后面不跟不定式
第五句 别再提由图可见了.可以说,it is interesting to notice that . 别再用we开头了.学一下there be 句型 或者 形式主语it开头的句型. 而且这句话的后半句（到percentage of ten为止）和前半句,逻辑连不上,不太明白你想要说什么.
第六句 再次,逻辑不明,人口多了,所以男性网民和女性网民就数量相近了（你是这意思吗?）.我猜测,图中并没有告诉你人口上升是导致这个结果的原因吧.小作文,切忌胡乱猜测.只要忠实地描述出图表中的信息就好.
最后一句,这里应该用主动.
总结,语法不过关.多练练语法.没有一篇正规点的英语文章里会出现你这样的句型.多读读文章,结合语法书好好巩固下你的语法知识.能告诉你的是,雅思作文,你语法用得熟练了,词汇差点,6分应该有的.there be, 形式主语it,各种从句,逗号句号的使用,目前看来是你首先要去学的.

说实话，语法错误太多了，估计在4.5左右。需要修改的地方：
The chart 【reveal】【 an the】 change in the number of British people use Internet over the period from1995to present.
In general,We 【are easy to find】, In 1995 on...

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说实话，语法错误太多了，估计在4.5左右。需要修改的地方：
The chart 【reveal】【 an the】 change in the number of British people use Internet over the period from1995to present.
In general,We 【are easy to find】, In 1995 only few people used the Internet.but【 in 1995 later】,We can【 find used】 the Internet of UK people【 is increase】 every year,as can be seen from the chart,the great change taken place in1995to2005 【by 25 percent】. And now,the figure【 reach】 to sixty percent.
From the information shown,We can find 【the male and female 】used Internet figure【 is rise】 every year,At the first,【used Internet female】 just percentage of ten. However,as people increase as,nowadays the number of man and women【 has been flat】..【They're】 all reached sixty percent. 时态和修饰语的问题

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