高手来修改英文文章语法错误（2）Moreover,as a member of student union,I was elected as the Director of Sports Department in 2005.In the activities that I planned the one of worth mentioning is that I carried out the evaluation using mat

高手来修改英文文章语法错误（2）Moreover,as a member of student union,I was elected as the Director of Sports Department in 2005.In the activities that I planned the one of worth mentioning is that I carried out the evaluation using mat
高手来修改英文文章语法错误（2）
Moreover,as a member of student union,I was elected as the Director of Sports Department in 2005.In the activities that I planned the one of worth mentioning is that I carried out the evaluation using mathematical method of Probability and Statistics taught in college on the campus basketball league we planed,and originally issued the campus basketball lottery.Finally we sold 400 pieces of lottery and got 500 yuan RMB of pure profit.And all the proceeds were donated to the charity.
In 2007 I passed the selection and joined the volunteer ranks of the Shanghai Special Olympic Game and the Women's Football World Cup.Through these experience,especially in Special Olympic Game,I raise my oral English level perceptibly and learn how to communicate with people from other cultures.In fact,I found that only if one have a respectful and friendly heart,he can get along with any people well in this world!
As for my interests and loves literature,music,tourism and sports are my favorites.In the aspect of literature I appreciate very much written by Adam Smith,and some works written by Stefan Zweig.between the lines,I could feel the delicate feelings of the authors and get great resonance from it!Under their impact,I even wrote a 30 thousand words fiction in 2007.(posted on yangjunxian.blogbus.com)
All above makes me well-prepared for upgrading my knowledge structure of finance at your institution.From the propaganda of British universities,I am really attracted by the well-arranged courses,dainty studying surrounding and handy facilities.Besides my academic pursuit,going to UK for further education will offer me a good opportunity to look around and understand the outside world.Absorbed by your practical course structure,variable teaching method,the charming buildings and the fine career futures,I wish I could have the honor to joining you soon and proving my value to you as a qualified student today,and as a pride-taking alumnus tomorrow.
Yours sincerely Yang Junxian

高手来修改英文文章语法错误（2）Moreover,as a member of student union,I was elected as the Director of Sports Department in 2005.In the activities that I planned the one of worth mentioning is that I carried out the evaluation using mat
我到yahoo answer问老外改了答案,看这里.
Moreover,as a member of the student union,I was elected as the Director of Sports Department in 2005.Of the activities I planned,the one of worth mentioning is that I carried out the evaluation using mathematical methods of Probability and Statistics taught during college on the campus basketball league we planed,and originally issued the campus basketball lottery.Eventually we sold 400 pieces of lottery and got 500 yuan RMB of pure profit,all the proceeds were donated to the charity.
In 2007 I passed the selection and joined the volunteer ranks of the Shanghai Special Olympic Games and the Women's Football World Cup.Through these experiences,especially in Special Olympic Games,I raised my oral English level perceptibly and learn how to communicate with people from other cultures.In fact,I realized that only if one has a respectful and friendly heart,he can get along with everybody in this world.
My favourite interests are:literature,music,tourism and sports.In the aspect of literature I appreciate very much “The Theory of Moral Sentiments” written by Adam Smith,as well as some works written by Stefan Zweig.Between the lines,I experienced the delicate feelings of the authors and get great resonance from it.The impact these writers on my life lead me to write a 30 thousand word fiction in 2007.(Posted on yangjunxian.blogbus.com)
All the points I have highlighted make me well-prepared for upgrading my knowledge structure of finance at your institution.From the media perceptions of British universities,I am really attracted by the well-arranged courses,dainty studying surrounding and handy facilities.Besides my academic pursuit,going to UK for further education will offer me a good opportunity to look around and understand the outside world.I have become absorbed by your practical course structure,variable teaching method,the charming buildings and the fine career futures.I hope I can have the honour to join you soon and prove my value to you as a qualified student today,and as a proud alumnus tomorrow.
Yours sincerely,
Yang Junxian

student union-students' union
the one of worth mentioning is-the one of worth mentions was
Probability and Statistics -Probability Statistics
basketball league - Basketball League
...

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student union-students' union
the one of worth mentioning is-the one of worth mentions was
Probability and Statistics -Probability Statistics
basketball league - Basketball League
In 2007 I passed the selection -In 2007 I passed the election
these experience-these experiences
I raise my oral English level perceptibly and learn how to communicate with people from other cultures.-raised,learnt.
only if one have-only if one has
get along with any people well -get along well with any people
I wish I could have the honor to joining you soon and proving my value to you as a qualified student today, and as a pride-taking alumnus tomorrow. -join,prove
基本的都改了~

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that I planned the one of “organized” is better