能不能帮我批改一下这篇作文Nowadays,there are more and more people addicted themselves to computer using,as if they can't live without the computer.This is not good news.People who rely too much on computers are now finding themselves for

能不能帮我批改一下这篇作文Nowadays,there are more and more people addicted themselves to computer using,as if they can't live without the computer.This is not good news.People who rely too much on computers are now finding themselves for
能不能帮我批改一下这篇作文
Nowadays,there are more and more people addicted themselves to computer using,as if they can't live without the computer.This is not good news.People who rely too much on computers are now finding themselves forgetting how to spell some words easily.Resolving with problems by computers is so convenient,leading increasing number of people releasing their hands together with their brain.The priority problem is that the more they rely on computers,the more chances for practice they are wasting.And people will gradually lose the ability to finish the things in person.The other vital problem is that many people prefer to surf the internet rather than go outside with friends.They working online,chatting online,shopping online,their daily life only needs the accompany of the computer.They don't realize that their social life is affected.These people will find it difficult to communicate with others face to face.To protect our life from not being destroyed,we are here appeal everyone not to rely too much on computers.
题目是Don't rely too much on computers.

能不能帮我批改一下这篇作文Nowadays,there are more and more people addicted themselves to computer using,as if they can't live without the computer.This is not good news.People who rely too much on computers are now finding themselves for
Nowadays,there are more and more people addicted themselves to computer using,as if they can't live without the（这里的the可以去掉的,computer是泛指没必要特指） computer.This is not good news.People who rely too much on computers are now（are和now应该换一下位置） finding themselves forgetting how to spell some words easily.Resolving with（去掉with,resolve及物,不需要加介词的.） problems by computers is so convenient,leading increasing number of people releasing their hands together with their brain（这句话前半部分有点问题,我觉得需要大规模改.）.The priority problem is that the more they rely on computers,the more chances for practice they are wasting.And people will gradually lose the ability to finish the things in person.The other vital problem is that many people prefer to surf the internet rather than go outside with friends.They working online,chatting online,shopping online,their daily life only needs(去掉s.主语是their daily life) the accompany of the computer.They don't realize that their social life is affected.These people will find it difficult to communicate with others face to face.To protect our life from not being destroyed（这个词一般指的是灾难般的毁灭,这里用有点不大合适）,we are here appeal everyone not to rely too much on computers（这句话用到call on比较好）

1. addicted应改为addicting

2. by computers, 个人感觉by后的名词通常是用单数的。如：by car.

3. increasing number of; 你这里的number 貌似要用复数。

4. brain也应用复数。因为不是一个人的大脑。

5. pr...

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   1. addicted应改为addicting

   2. by computers, 个人感觉by后的名词通常是用单数的。如：by car.

   3. increasing number of; 你这里的number 貌似要用复数。

   4. brain也应用复数。因为不是一个人的大脑。

   5. priority是名词，这时最好用个形容词，如primary problem

   6. the other problem, 这里肯定不只两个问题。所以最好别用the other, another 更稳妥一些。

   7. They working 这一句虽然是独立主格结构，但看起来怪怪的。不如改成，While they keep working.., chatting... and shopping online, the computer has become the only companion of their life.

   8. protect sb. from V-ing本身后面就有否定意思，所以，不要用not. 如：Take an umbrella with you. It will protect you from geting wet. 可否改成：To protect our life from getting destroyed by computer,

   9. appeal是动词。如果要与are搭配，最好用进行时：we are here appealing people 
      

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