求搞笑的英语句子,英语剧本用!再过不久就是英语汇演了,我们班演的是《爱丽丝梦游仙境》,场景一就是爱丽丝在看书嘛,我觉得有点无聊就打算添一些搞笑的句子,然后念出来.但一直想不到,

求搞笑的英语句子,英语剧本用!再过不久就是英语汇演了,我们班演的是《爱丽丝梦游仙境》,场景一就是爱丽丝在看书嘛,我觉得有点无聊就打算添一些搞笑的句子,然后念出来.但一直想不到,
求搞笑的英语句子,英语剧本用!
再过不久就是英语汇演了,我们班演的是《爱丽丝梦游仙境》,场景一就是爱丽丝在看书嘛,我觉得有点无聊就打算添一些搞笑的句子,然后念出来.但一直想不到,给我一些比较搞笑的英文句子（备注中文意思）,但要是适合念书的哦!我是新手,也没有什么积分,但希望大家不要介意,

求搞笑的英语句子,英语剧本用!再过不久就是英语汇演了,我们班演的是《爱丽丝梦游仙境》,场景一就是爱丽丝在看书嘛,我觉得有点无聊就打算添一些搞笑的句子,然后念出来.但一直想不到,
Money is not everything.There's Mastercard & Visa.
钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡.
One should love animals.They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃.
Save water.Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡.
Behind every successful man,there is a woman.And behind every unsuccessful man,there are two.
每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人.每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个.
Every man should marry.After all,happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸福不是永久的嘛.
The wise never marry,And when they marry they become otherwise.
聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来.
Success is a relative term.It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词,他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）.
Love is photogenic.It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就象照片,需要大量的暗房时间来培养.（老外也保守,要摸黑办事,哈哈）
Children in backseats cause accidents.Accidents in backseats cause children.
后排座位上的小孩会生出意外,后排座位上的意外会生出小孩.
"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep.
“现在的梦想决定着你的将来”,所以还是再睡一会吧.
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
应该有更好的方式开始新一天,而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来.
"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk?"
“努力工作不会导致死亡!”不过我不会用自己去证明.
"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours!"
“工作好有意思耶!”尤其是看着别人工作.
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
神决定了谁是你的亲戚,幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地.
When two's company,three's the result!
两个人的状态是不稳定的,三个人才是!
A dress is like a barbed fence.It protects the premises without restricting the view.
服饰就象铁丝网,它阻止你贸然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看.
The more you learn,the more you know,The more you know,the more you forget.
The more you forget,the less you know.So why bother to learn.
学的越多,知道的越多,知道的越多,忘记的越多,
忘记的越多,知道【第一条】
英文：Examination and many children,so that the number of honest learned cheating.
中文：考试害了多少个孩子,让多少诚实的孩子学会了作弊.
【第二条】
英文：For beautiful eyes,on the line,and told myself,my wife than they were.
中文：对于美女,看两眼就行,转身告诉自己,我老婆比她们都好.
【第三条】
英文：Did you find,those who hate you,looks very ugly.
中文：你有没有发现,那些讨厌你的人,长得都特别丑.
【第四条】
英文：Since I will play QQ,I found my pinyin is getting better and better,the study did not have this effect.
中文：自从会玩QQ后,我发现我拼音越来越好了,读书都没这效果.
【第五条】
英文：I have a flirt with hot chicks ability,but he is a girl.
中文：我空有一身泡妞的本事,可惜自己是个妞.
【第六条】
英文：I do not smoke cigarettes,is not lonely,second-hand smoke!
中文：我抽的不是烟,也不是寂寞,是二手烟!
【第七条】
英文：Examination of people rely on strength,and I rely on the rich imagination.
中文：考试有人靠的是实力,而我靠的是丰富的想象力.
【第八条】
英文：Abroad:Thought and ability is the key,the domestic:relationship and can run.
中文：国外：思想和才能才是王道,国内：关系和马屁才能横行.
【第九条】
英文：The teacher said to hear www.name2012.com and fine,I know he's salary.
中文：听到老师说又要开始罚钱,我就知道是他工资花完了.的越少,为什么学来着?