请改改语法 这篇文章是我的英语作文,求大侠帮我改改.my name is ..,i`m from Zigong city of Sichuan province,i was graduated from zigong NO.14 Vocational High school in 2009.my major is electronic.i`m a outgoing girl,i like learning

请改改语法 这篇文章是我的英语作文,求大侠帮我改改.my name is ..,i`m from Zigong city of Sichuan province,i was graduated from zigong NO.14 Vocational High school in 2009.my major is electronic.i`m a outgoing girl,i like learning
请改改语法 这篇文章是我的英语作文,求大侠帮我改改.
my name is ..,i`m from Zigong city of Sichuan province,i was graduated from zigong NO.14 Vocational High school in 2009.my major is electronic.
i`m a outgoing girl,i like learning new things,i`m good at Chinese,but English is not good.my hobbies are listening to music.play game and swimming.But i can`t swim,i`m learing to swim.i don`t have much time for my hobbies,Work makes me feel busy and tired.
waiter was my first job,secoud was a office girl,the third was a sales girl.But i`m a mould engineer now,i love this job ,because let me full my life and happy.

请改改语法 这篇文章是我的英语作文,求大侠帮我改改.my name is ..,i`m from Zigong city of Sichuan province,i was graduated from zigong NO.14 Vocational High school in 2009.my major is electronic.i`m a outgoing girl,i like learning
electronic 是形容词 这里应该改为 electronics 名词 电子学
a outgoing ----an outgoing
play game--playing games
work--working
waiter--waitress
second 拼写有误
a office--an office
最后一句话完全不对可改为 because it makes my life fruitful and happy

My name is XXX,from XX city,SiChuan province.I graduated from XXX Hight School in 2009,major is Electronic.Every basically skill has been learn from school.
I'm a girl who is outgoing,activelly an...

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My name is XXX,from XX city,SiChuan province.I graduated from XXX Hight School in 2009,major is Electronic.Every basically skill has been learn from school.
I'm a girl who is outgoing,activelly and QT.At free time,i like learning,especially in English.But as a local cittisen,Chinese is more better.I'm interested in everything:music,TV game,sport and so on.But i have not enough time to do this.Almost everyday i have to go to work,it make me busy.I can't easily believe that i love it!
To be a waitres was my first job,and then being an office girl.After that,i took the job as a sales.Now,i'm a mould engineer.You can't imagine how i love this job.It make me feel,life is not empty,what is happinest!
这样写才能符合外国人看东西的习惯，不要用中文式书写英语。随便帮你改了下，自己参考参考吧。

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My name is ..I`m from Zigong city of Sichuan province.I graduated from zigong NO.14 Vocational High School in 2009.My major is electronics.
I`m an outgoing girl.I like learning new things.I`m good...

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My name is ..I`m from Zigong city of Sichuan province.I graduated from zigong NO.14 Vocational High School in 2009.My major is electronics.
I`m an outgoing girl.I like learning new things.I`m good at Chinese,but my English is poor.My hobbies are listening to music,playing games and swimming. I can`t swim.but I`m learing to swim.I don`t have much time for my hobbies.Work makes me feel busy and tired.Being a waiter was my first job.Mysecond one was being an office girl, the third a sales girl. I`m a mould engineer now.I love this job becauseit let me feel my life full and happy.

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