求英语大神帮我看看这篇雅思写作!18号才考的.看看能得多少.我通过回忆全部写出来了!包括写错的地方也有!现在有很多小孩在课堂上越来越不专心了.原因是什么,以下是我的作文：It is not unc

求英语大神帮我看看这篇雅思写作!18号才考的.看看能得多少.我通过回忆全部写出来了!包括写错的地方也有!现在有很多小孩在课堂上越来越不专心了.原因是什么,以下是我的作文：It is not unc
求英语大神帮我看看这篇雅思写作!18号才考的.看看能得多少.
我通过回忆全部写出来了!包括写错的地方也有!
现在有很多小孩在课堂上越来越不专心了.原因是什么,以下是我的作文：It is not uncommon to discuss the educational issue.Many students especially youngsters believe that it is tough to pay attention in the class.In my observation,there are two main reasonsfor this problem.Firstly,school puts the heavy burdon upon the backs of these kids.In order to seek a better future for these children,the curricula of school is generally full.Besides,most of these curricula is hard to learn.Once a student cannot finish his homework because it is too difficult,it will weaken his motivation indeed.So it is reasonable that he cannot concentrate at school anymore.In addition,many temptations are in this changing world.The intuition of children is play,not to mention that there is a variety of computer games do attract children’s eyes.For example,a very popular game called LOL is endearing to elementary students.In some cases,I can see that a primary school student spent all of his leisure time on playing that game regardless of homework,physical exercise and the like.To be honest,it seems like that no measure can stop it.However,I strongly believe that there are some proposals can be taken to solve this problem.At the first,schools are not supposed to provide too much homework for kids but to provide students with some creational activities such as seek-and-hide,jumping rope and make-believegame.Without playing computer game and having a relax life,these kids will concentrate in the class again.How to teach and how to educate remains a question,but it is for sure that if we can think in children’s way,the solution for this issue will be more efficient.
我写的时候是有分段的啊。
It is not uncommon to...
Many students....
Firstly,
In addition,
However,
How to teach...
一共是6段。

求英语大神帮我看看这篇雅思写作!18号才考的.看看能得多少.我通过回忆全部写出来了!包括写错的地方也有!现在有很多小孩在课堂上越来越不专心了.原因是什么,以下是我的作文：It is not unc
大概会在在5.5-6这一段.

朗阁的官网上有作文在线批改的功能，你可以把作文发给朗阁名师批改。

非常好，大约扣个5、6分左右