帮忙批改雅思大作文,看看几分SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT PARENTS SHOULD TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO BE GOOD MEMBERS OF SOCIETY.OTHERS,HOWEVER,BELIEVE THAT SCHOOL IS THE PLACE TO LEARN THIS.DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.Parents ar

帮忙批改雅思大作文,看看几分SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT PARENTS SHOULD TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO BE GOOD MEMBERS OF SOCIETY.OTHERS,HOWEVER,BELIEVE THAT SCHOOL IS THE PLACE TO LEARN THIS.DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.Parents ar
帮忙批改雅思大作文,看看几分
SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT PARENTS SHOULD TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO BE GOOD MEMBERS OF SOCIETY.OTHERS,HOWEVER,BELIEVE THAT SCHOOL IS THE PLACE TO LEARN THIS.
DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.
Parents are responsible to teach children moral lesson while schools have duties to inculcate knowledge to students.These two factors are very important for novices in the modern society.But for me,parents play a more significant role in children's life than schools do.
There is a vey well-known Chinese prover."Parents are to blame dor their children' fault." I do believe that parents' teaching is essential and crucial to the growth of children in several ways.Teaching diverges into two ways,one is oral lesson,the other is behavior lesson.Oral lesson is to teach by words.For example,if children make some mistakes,parents will explain to them the reasons.They will blame slightly,or in order words,teach children,instead of reproach severely.Behavior lessons are everywhere in daily life.Unlike oral lessons,they will not happen due to some kinds of circumstances.I have seen a very terrible example.A grandpa wanted to lead his young grandson go across the intersection when the traffic light is in red.Fortunately,his grandson didn't move and stood still.He said that schools have taught not to cross the road while the red light is on.
Schools taught moral lessons as well,but mainly knowledge and experiences.Students have to study Chinese,English,Maths and other subjects.There subjects seem useless.However,it do help from some fields.For instance,if you study hospitality,chemistry and physics are not that important for those students,who want to study medicine or biology as their major.Schools want us to study so many subjects in order to practice our learning ability.How can we use the valuable time properly?For 12 years study,students can search the right learning method for themselves and they can find the most interesting subject and they can combine this subject with their future major.My friend likes Mathematic and numbers.Therefore,she choose business and finance as her major.
In school,teacher will emphasize on students' scores and ability,not focusing their morality.When I was in Grade 8,teacher blamed me because I missed a word in the recite article.She shout at me,and praise me a sentence," You were the worst student I had ever met." At that moment,what I need is an encouragement,but this is what she have done to me.If without my parents' help,I think I will quit the school.Parents give us love and care.If a person with outstanding knowledge and experience,but he spoils his talent in reprove and reproach.
In my perspective,being a great and virtuous person without knowledge is better than a well-educated person but without morality and virtue.Hence,parents had a major and more positive influence on children.

帮忙批改雅思大作文,看看几分SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT PARENTS SHOULD TEACH CHILDREN HOW TO BE GOOD MEMBERS OF SOCIETY.OTHERS,HOWEVER,BELIEVE THAT SCHOOL IS THE PLACE TO LEARN THIS.DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.Parents ar
没有introduction——你第一段的存在让我很费解.
不要在文段中暴露自己的身份信息（诸如国籍、姓名、年龄、性别等）——第二段很乱,我直接跳过.
Mathematic and numbers有什么区别?——第三段依然很乱,我再次跳过.
你老师的玩忽职守与文章内容不相干——第四段不相干,可以删除.
你的结论更是唱高调.题目要求你讨论教育“责任的分配”,而不是教育“内容的设置”
好吧,总体上说你已经偏题了.题中说让你discuss而不是describe.讨论就是吵架,要有正反两方观点的出现.综合用词、语法、文体、连贯性我给你的评定是4.5-5.5.
四川女孩很浮躁,我有两个四川学生

第四段praise 称赞啊，用错了
If without my parents' help, I think I will quit the school.严重了

我想这篇 写出来 应该不止40分钟吧，雅思考试1小时 大小作文 时间很紧的。
对文章的建议是：内容不需要太多 250-280 字左右最好了 分数的话 应该可以打到6.5-7
希望你注意平时作文的时间 一定要在 40分钟之内完成 要不然考试一定吃亏

“Parents are responsible to teach children moral lesson while schools have duties to inculcate knowledge to students.”中式英语
“There is a vey well-known Chinese prover.”vey 拼写错误
"Parents are to b...

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“Parents are responsible to teach children moral lesson while schools have duties to inculcate knowledge to students.”中式英语
“There is a vey well-known Chinese prover.”vey 拼写错误
"Parents are to blame dor their children' fault. " 语法不规范
你这作文太长了，有条件你去新东方的51批改网上去改吧，收费的，都是外教改，质量很好，我原来改过几篇

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