自己写的六级英语文章请帮我看看,希望有好的建议和评价题目：1现在国内有不少人喜欢过西方的节日 2.谈谈产生这种现象的原因是 3. 这种现象可能带来的影响 The Celebration of Western Festivals

自己写的六级英语文章请帮我看看,希望有好的建议和评价题目：1现在国内有不少人喜欢过西方的节日 2.谈谈产生这种现象的原因是 3. 这种现象可能带来的影响 The Celebration of Western Festivals
自己写的六级英语文章
请帮我看看,希望有好的建议和评价
题目：
1现在国内有不少人喜欢过西方的节日
2.谈谈产生这种现象的原因是
3. 这种现象可能带来的影响
The Celebration of Western Festivals
Nowadays,more and more Chinese youngsters have a fever for the Western Fevitals. For an instance,boys will buy flowers and chocolate to their girlfriends at Valentine's Day,but do nothing when Lantern Festival.
What cause this phenomenon,maybe the following reasons can answer it.Firstly,the youngsters are influented by the western media nowadays,which make them think that the western festivals are much more interesting than the Chinese Festivals.Secondly,as the western festivals express that sending presents to friends and relatives is important,the public will think highly of them for they can stimulus the economy.
Through it can develop the economy,but our festivas will despair gradually as their place will be replaced by the western festivals.So we must advocate celebrating our festivals immediately.We must believe that our Chinese festival also can accelerate the consumption here.What's more,the media plays an important role in developing public's interesing of Chinese festivals.

自己写的六级英语文章请帮我看看,希望有好的建议和评价题目：1现在国内有不少人喜欢过西方的节日 2.谈谈产生这种现象的原因是 3. 这种现象可能带来的影响 The Celebration of Western Festivals
Generally speaking, it is a great effort. Good job man.
Correction
1)"have a fever for" Do not use that, even "be wild about" is better than "fever"
2)for instance
3)boys buy flowers... omit "will"
4)buy sth. for sb. Not "to sb."
5)do "nothing when lantern festival" What the hell are you talking about? I eat a couple of rice balls but I dont feel old.
6)What cause this phenomenon? Sounds weird.
7)influence - influenced
8)media 不可数 which makes them
9)much more interesting than OUR Chinese Ones.
10)as the western festivals express... Clumsy. Try as the gift-exchange is so important/essentail for festivals...
11)the public will think... Again, it really twists my mind
Try "the merchants will consider those festivals as golden opportunites of stimulating people's consumtion.
12)如过你用 though,后面别跟but
13）despair---disappear
14) our traditional festivals will gradually ignored as people give more attention on western festivals
15)so we... do not use so, use therefore, 书面语
16）we advocate celebrating our own festivals. Omit immediately
17) Omit must.
18) also can---- can also
19) accelerate our national consumtion. Get rid of " here"
20)What more----Furthermore
21)develop public awareness
Here is an example based on my idea and some material I collected through some web links.
The Celebration of Western Festivals in China
No one can deny the fact that an increasing number of Chinese are fond of celebrating some typical western festivals today. For instance, at Valentine's day, many people exchange gifts to express the love and affection for their dear ones. On Christmas day, shops are decorated with Santa Claus pictures and Christmas trees, Products relative to Christmas are sold,restaurants are fully booked and people give out presents.
There are many reasons for this phenomenon. Firstly, thanks to the might of the advanced media technology, youngsters are significantly influenced by the overloaded information they receive from variety of media sources. Secondly, the greatly improved living standard stimulate people's consumption.
The negative impact is also obvious, the celebration of western festivals might lead to neglect of the traditional Chinese festivals.
Good work, man. Keep it up.
Good luck and all the best

只看了第一段。。。删掉an。。。删掉will。。。to改成for。。。at改成on。。。when改成on。。。而且感觉第一行的for也不对。。。
基本语法都还没过关。。。

"have a fever for the Western Fevitals"→have a fever on sth.
"buy flowers and chocolate to their girlfriends "→buy sth for sb.
"despair"?maybe you want to say"消失"？→disappear
The last parag...

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"have a fever for the Western Fevitals"→have a fever on sth.
"buy flowers and chocolate to their girlfriends "→buy sth for sb.
"despair"?maybe you want to say"消失"？→disappear
The last paragraph seems a little illogical,especially the use of "what's more".I think,the sentence after "what's more" belongs to the resolution rather than the influence, so you can talk something more about the resolution in next paragraph,or remove the conjunction-"what's more",go on your ideas about influence in the third paragraph.
I hope my answers can really help you! Thank you! Best Regards!

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at valentine's day --> on Valentine's day
when Lantern festival --> ???
what cause this phenomenon... --> what causes ... if u begin a sentence with what, it's better to end it with a quest...

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at valentine's day --> on Valentine's day
when Lantern festival --> ???
what cause this phenomenon... --> what causes ... if u begin a sentence with what, it's better to end it with a question mark.
(just personal opinion...XD)
western media nowadays,which make them --> change make to makes because u are referring to "western media", which is singular
western festivals express that --> express ______ that, the blank could be filled in with phrases such as "the idea", "give the impression of"
they can stimulus the economy --> stimulus is a noun, thus should be replaced with stimulate, which is the verb
Through it can develop the economy --> it's better if you can define what the "it" is, never assume that the reader knows what you are talking about
despite the feel grammatical errors, u did an awesome job in getting the message across
lol, hope this helps in whatever u are trying to do^w^
Good Luck!
ps: i wrote a little intro based on my own interpretation of your essay...
In today's society,as more and more Western Festivals are introduced in our country, many youngsters have digressed from traditional festivals and adopted western ways. For instance, boys will show their affection to their girlfriends by various means on Valentine's day as they couldn't care less about the Lantern Festival.
There are many underlying causes for such digression, socially and economically. First of all....

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