修改一篇英语作文There will be held a public transport week activity for the first time in the city from 16th to 20th ,september,2007.This activity will be held in beijing,shanghai,tianjin and so on .It was held in about 108 cities at same tim

修改一篇英语作文There will be held a public transport week activity for the first time in the city from 16th to 20th ,september,2007.This activity will be held in beijing,shanghai,tianjin and so on .It was held in about 108 cities at same tim
修改一篇英语作文
There will be held a public transport week activity for the first time in the city from 16th to 20th ,september,2007.This activity will be held in beijing,shanghai,tianjin and so on .
It was held in about 108 cities at same time .During the activities 's time .the cities call on people to recive the conception of green transport and choose to walk ,by bus ,and by bike when they go out .
I am absolutely voted for the activities in the cities that can make us work and live more green and healthy .People should stop using their cars and star using public transport ,for the roads are too crowded as it is .For one thing ,it can sustainable recovery .For another ,It can also protect our environment .Dear fellow freind.Let's lead a better live .thins is a meanning ful thing.We should do it together and hand in hand .
作文标题是表达对中国城市公共交通周活动的看法.
请指出文中的语法错误 结构错误 以及词汇错误 附上您的建议.

修改一篇英语作文There will be held a public transport week activity for the first time in the city from 16th to 20th ,september,2007.This activity will be held in beijing,shanghai,tianjin and so on .It was held in about 108 cities at same tim
P1 There is[这样会比较好,意思不变,因为接下来还有个地方有相同的意思] a [Public Transport Week ]activity 大写活动/节日名称for the first time in the city from 16th to 20th [September],2007.9月大写.This activity will hold [ 这样就不用2句都采用相同的表达方式]in beijing,shanghai,tianjin and some other cities[ so on ,别人怎么知道接下来是哪里,我觉得最好说清楚]
P2..时态错了 It will be held in about 108 cities at the same time .During the activities 'time .the cities will call on people to get the conception of green transport and choose to walk ,take a bus,or ride the bike when they go out .On one hand it can sustainable recover [ can 是情态动词 ] On the other hand,It also can protect our environment .Dear fellow freind.,Let's create a better life[要用这个词] .,.thins is a meanning ful thing.We should do it together and hand in hand .[这两句是有点多余]
ps ：时态错误比较多哦,建议多看看语法书.
我觉得应该修改的都在文章里该好了 括号里的是原因.

There will be held a public transport week activity for the first time in the city from 16th to 20th ,（september月份大写）,2007. （This activity will be held in beijing,shanghai,tianjin and so on .
It ...

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There will be held a public transport week activity for the first time in the city from 16th to 20th ,（september月份大写）,2007. （This activity will be held in beijing,shanghai,tianjin and so on .
It was（will时态一致） held in about 108 cities at same time .During the （activities 's ——activities '）time .the cities call on people to recive the conception of green transport and choose to walk , （by bus——take a bus） , and （by bike——ride a bike， when they go out .
I am absolutely voted for the activities in the cities that can make us work and live（in a） more green and healthy environment）.People should stop using their cars and star using public transport , for the roads are too crowded as it is . For one thing , it can sustainable recovery . For another , It can also protect our environment . Dear fellow freind. Let's lead a better live . thins is a meanning ful thing. We should do it together （and hand in hand 我觉得这多余）.

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There will be held （将held去掉，这是there be句型，而不需要用被动；也可以将be去掉，将held改为hold)a public transport week activity for the first time in the city from 16th to 20th ,september(第一个字母大写）,2007. This activity will be ...

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There will be held （将held去掉，这是there be句型，而不需要用被动；也可以将be去掉，将held改为hold)a public transport week activity for the first time in the city from 16th to 20th ,september(第一个字母大写）,2007. This activity will be held in beijing,shanghai,tianjin and so on .
It was（将was改为will be）held in about 108 cities at（加the,固定句式） same time .During the activities 's (改为activity's)time .the cities (加will，与文章时态一致）call on people to recive the conception of green transport and (加to)choose to walk , by bus , and by bike when they go out （建议将walk后的改为go by bus or by bike,因为choose to后接动词，而且可与前面walk保持一致）.
I am absolutely voted for the activities(用单数） in the cities （加for或者because,表因果关系）that can make us work and live more green and healthy .People should stop using their cars and star using（改为to use） public transport , for the roads are too crowded as it is . For one thing , it can sustainable(sustainably，用副词） recovery . For another , It can also protect our environment . Dear fellow freind. Let's lead a better live(改为life) . thins is a meanning ful thing. We should do it together and hand in hand（together和hand in hand重复，可只保留一个） .

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不用there be 句型， 用被动式更好。 A public transport week activity will be held for the first time in the city from 16th to 20th on september, 2007. It will be held in 108 different cities which include Beijing,...

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不用there be 句型， 用被动式更好。 A public transport week activity will be held for the first time in the city from 16th to 20th on september, 2007. It will be held in 108 different cities which include Beijing, ShangHai, TianJin and so on. 这样一个定语从句可以把两个句子穿在一起。 During the activity, 这里不需要time. The cities call on people to accept the proposal of using green transports. receive 接到， accept 同意， 这里proposal 提议 比概念更好。 使用绿色交通, 不是接受绿色交通的概念。 For example, people can get to their destination on foot, by bus or bike.
I absolutely favor the activities held in the cities because it can make us work and live in a green and healthy environment. People should stop using their cars and start to think about using public transportations because the roads are too crowded. Furthermore, it can sustainable recovery(这里我不懂你的意思， 持续恢复什么， 交通拥挤还是环境污染） what's more, it can also protect our environment. Dear fellow friends, let's make a better live, make the environment around us more colorful. it's time to take an action, guys!

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