19号就考了 麻烦帮我看看这雅思作文你能得几分大作文Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works by using computer. To what extent do you agree or d

19号就考了 麻烦帮我看看这雅思作文你能得几分大作文Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works by using computer. To what extent do you agree or d
19号就考了 麻烦帮我看看这雅思作文你能得几分
大作文
Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works by using computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Undeniably, the robust leader of modern society is computer. By utilizing computer, oceans of original stuff can be replaced, such as museum and art gallery.
Nowadays, all of the art and antiques in art gallery and museum can be seen on the screen in front of you eyes. It saves people's time to see those outside. In an other hand, this is the best way to keep the security of art and antique. By the research of Sussex University, approximately 120 antiques are missed all over the world everyday. 60% of those are stolen by the guests of the museum. It is little wonder that those area become the place that attract offenders. No longer can public security experts neglect the phenomenal fact that close museum and art gallery can reduce crime rate and protect public security.
To a large extent, by employ desk top or lap top to see art and historical thing can spawn incalculable benefits. Like through pay a meagre number of money, government can put the informations and photos of the paintings and antique vases on the Internet, let citizens see those , rather, it is not free but its price will lower than museum, thus, a staggering of people will prefer this kind visit. This win-win method can propel local economy and expand people's horizon. Nevertheless, a host of banana republics such as Panama, EI Salvador and Dominica can also garner benefits by a paltry cost, and people around the world who interest those countries' art or historical stuff will pay the bill to see it. Those republics can get a license to print money like other developed countries.
By way of conclusion, I adamantly plump for the argument that public museums and art galleries are useless, computer can let people see the work of art and historical objects and come into play tremendous effects.

19号就考了 麻烦帮我看看这雅思作文你能得几分大作文Some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works by using computer. To what extent do you agree or d
说几个问题：
1.LZ你没有注意单复数啊,通篇的museum 和 art gallery都是用的单数,这里是泛指,应该用复数才对.有些不可数名词反而用了复数,比如：information是不可数名词.
2.第二段第三句应该是in the other hand才对,而且这个词组是表示和前面相反的意思的,你这是递进,不应该用这个词组,应该是moreover,in addtion之类的才对.
3.这个是我请教的问题了,现在很流行用By way of conclusion这次词组么?我感觉很怪啊,直接用in conclusion就好了吧…………
希望对你有所帮助

除第一段顶格外其他开头要空格，另外最后结尾不够好，90

写的很不错啊！99分