【200分汉译英】幽默搞笑—实话背后的故事好可怕?一名富翁如愿以偿地娶到了一位美丽的女影星.洞房里.新郎说：“咱们既然做了夫妻,就该以诚相待.我有几个小秘密要告诉你,请你不要吃惊.

【200分汉译英】幽默搞笑—实话背后的故事好可怕?一名富翁如愿以偿地娶到了一位美丽的女影星.洞房里.新郎说：“咱们既然做了夫妻,就该以诚相待.我有几个小秘密要告诉你,请你不要吃惊.
【200分汉译英】幽默搞笑—实话背后的故事好可怕?
一名富翁如愿以偿地娶到了一位美丽的女影星.洞房里.新郎说：“咱们既然做了夫妻,就该以诚相待.我有几个小秘密要告诉你,请你不要吃惊.”新娘风情万种地浅浅一笑：“谁没有几个小秘密呀.既然你能把隐私告诉我,我也决定把我的小秘密告诉你.”
新郎用手抓下了头顶上的发套,对新娘说：“其实我已经秃顶了……”没想到新娘把一头长发也随手摘了下来：“这有什么大惊小怪的,我生来就是全秃的……”
一见新郎盯着自己的秃头发愣,新娘主动坦白：“你看我的双眼皮漂亮吗?其实是人工割的……”新郎却毫不吃惊：“这不算什么,你看我的左眼……”他边说边把自己的左眼球从眼眶里取了出来,原来他的左眼是假的.
新郎接着说：“不但我的左眼,我的牙也是假的……”新娘不以为然：“不要紧,我的鼻子隆过五回了……”新郎说：“不瞒你说,我脸上的皱纹是做的;
新娘欲言又止,过了一会儿才说：“我也不瞒你了,其实我这漂亮的脸蛋是整了八次容才整成这样的……”新郎边脱上衣边说：“我的心脏可是靠起搏器维持跳动的……”新娘指了下文胸：“我是做了手术后才这么好的身材的……”
新郎的动作慢下来：“既然你这么坦白,我把我最大的秘密告诉你吧——由于经济危机爆发,我已经快破产了……”新娘也象下了最大的决心：“本来我不想让人知道,但你对我这么好,我就告诉你好啦——其实我原来不是女人,我是做了变性手术的……”
“太好了!”新郎兴奋得叫起来,边说边扒掉自己的表皮,露出里面黑乎乎的毛,他紧紧搂着新娘：“亲爱的,其实我是一只猩猩,你跟 我回到森林去生活吧…………”

【200分汉译英】幽默搞笑—实话背后的故事好可怕?一名富翁如愿以偿地娶到了一位美丽的女影星.洞房里.新郎说：“咱们既然做了夫妻,就该以诚相待.我有几个小秘密要告诉你,请你不要吃惊.
A painter hangs his or her finished pictures on a wall,and everyone can see it.A composer writes a work,but no one can hear it until it is performed.Professional singers and players have great responsibilities,for the composer is utterly dependent on them.A student of music needs as long and as arduous a training to become a performer as a medical student needs to become a doctor.Most training is concerned with technique,for musicians have to have the muscular proficiency of an athlete or a ballet dancer.Singers practice breathing every day,as their vocal chords would be inadequate without controlled muscular support.String players practice moving the fingers of the left hand up and down,while drawing the bow to and fro with the right arm—two entirely different movements.
Singers and instruments have to be able to get every note perfectly in tune.Pianists are spared this particular anxiety,for the notes are already there,waiting for them,and it is the piano tuner’s responsibility to tune the instrument for them.But they have their own difficulties; the hammers that hit the string have to be coaxed not to sound like percussion,and each overlapping tone has to sound clear.
This problem of getting clear texture is one that confronts student conductors:they have to learn to know every note of the music and how it should sound,and they have to aim at controlling these sound with fanatical but selfless authority.
Technique is of no use unless it is combined with musical knowledge and understanding.Great artists are those who are so thoroughly at home in the language of music that they can enjoy performing works written in any century.
这篇文章更有教育意义啊!

A millionaire acceded to the wedding of a beautiful female stars. In the bridal chamber. The groom said : "We both trust each other as a husband and wife . I have a few little secret to tell you, plea...

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A millionaire acceded to the wedding of a beautiful female stars. In the bridal chamber. The groom said : "We both trust each other as a husband and wife . I have a few little secret to tell you, please do not surprise. "bride smiles exceedingly fascinating and charming : "who does not have several small secrets ah? Since you tell me your privacy, I decided to tell you a little secret to you. "
the groom takes down wig, said to the bride : "I have actually baldness ... "He did not expect the bride takes down all her hair. " do not fuss, I was born all bald ... "
The groom stares at her bald head suprised, the bride makes a voluntary confession : "You see if my double eyelids are beautiful? In fact, the cut is artificial ... "the groom was not surprised :" This does not weigh with me, see my left eye ... "He took it out off the left eye socket,it turned out to be that the eye was a fake.
The groom then said : "not only the left eye, my teeth were fake..." the bride seemed undisturbed "It does not matter. I have done Nose Plasty for five times... "the groom said :" To be candid with you ,wrinkles on my face is artificial;
bride hesitated, for a moment, she said:"I'll keep nothing back from you.Actually, my face turned out to be so pretty after 8 facial plastic surgery..."the groom took off his T-shirt and said:"
my heart is beating on the pacemaker to maintain ..." the bride pointed at her breast:"my shape is that good after surgery..."
The groom slowed down : "as you are so frank, I'll tell you my biggest secret, because the economic crisis broke out, I was nearly bankrupt ... "like the bride with the greatest determination :" I originally did not want people to know, but you are so good to me, I am telling you, Well -- actually, I was not a woman, I did the denaturation surgery ... "
"great!" exclaimed the excited groom, while stripped of his skin, exposing the inside darkish hair, He firmly held the bride : "Dear, I am actually a gorilla, you and me return to the forest to live ... ... ... ... ... ..."

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A wealthy man fruitfully married a beautiful female movie star.In nuptial chamber.The bridegroom said that,“We since has been the husbands and wives, should treat with respect.I have several small sec...

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A wealthy man fruitfully married a beautiful female movie star.In nuptial chamber.The bridegroom said that,“We since has been the husbands and wives, should treat with respect.I have several small secrets to have to tell you, please do not be startled.As soon as” the bridal character and style ten thousand farms sound of flowing water smiles: “Who not several small secrets.Since you can tell the privacy I, I also decided tells mine small secret you.”
The bridegroom grasped in the top of the head with the hand to send the wrap, said to the bride: “I already the bald person ...... had not thought actually” the bride conveniently has also picked long hair down: “This has any to make much ado about nothing, I am since birth entire bare ......”
As soon as sees the bridegroom to stare at bald own is being in a daze, the bride confesses on own initiative: “You look at my double-fold eyelid attractively? Actually is shears ......” the bridegroom not to be startled actually artificially: “This does not calculate any, you looked my left eye ......” he on the one hand said on the other hand has taken own left eyeball from the eye socket, originally his left eye is false.
The bridegroom then said that,“Not only my left eye, my tooth also is false ......” the bride thinks otherwise: “Is unimportant, my nose swelled five chapters ......” the bridegroom to say: “Is open about the facts you to say that, on my face wrinkle is does; The bride started to speak but hesitated, crosses a while only then to say that,“I was also open about the facts you, actually I this attractive cheek put in order eight Rong Caizheng to become such ......” the bridegroom on the one hand to escape on the other hand the coat to say: “But my heart depended on the actuator maintenance beat ......” the bride to refer to under the bra: “After I have undergone the surgery the only then such good stature ......”
Bridegroom's movement gets down slowly: “Since you such confess, I tell I biggest secret you - - because the economic crisis erupts, I already quickly went bankrupt ......” the bride also likely to make the biggest resolution: “I do not want to let the human originally know, but you are such good to me, I tell you good - - actually me originally am not the woman, I have undergone the sex change operation ......” “Too has been good!”The bridegroom is excited calls, said while digs up own epidermis inside, reveals the dark wool, he closely is hugging the bride: “Dear, actually I am an orangutan, you return to the forest with me to live ............”

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A rich man have the wish fulfilled married a beauty of female movie star.The inside of the nuptial chamber.The bridegroom say:"We were since husband and wife, should be honest to each other.I have a f...

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A rich man have the wish fulfilled married a beauty of female movie star.The inside of the nuptial chamber.The bridegroom say:"We were since husband and wife, should be honest to each other.I have a few small secret to tell you, please don't be shocked."Bride the exceedingly fascinating and charming ground be shallow a smile:"Who have no a few small secret.Since you can tell me the privacy, I also the decision tell you my small secret."
The bridegroom by hand grasped bottom the hair set of overhead, say to the bride:"In fact I already bald-headed ……" has never thought a bride long a head of hair also with took off down:"This have what fussbudget, my livinging to come be whole bald ……"
Stare at while seeing a bridegroom oneself of the bald become speechless, the bride be active frank:"Do you see my double eyelid beautiful?In fact is an artificial to mow of ……"bridegroom but nowise shocked:His side of"this doesn't consider as what, you see my left eye ……" say a side oneself of the left eyeball took to come out from the inside of the eye socket and originally his left eye be false.
The bridegroom immediately after say:The "not only my left eye, my tooth be also false ……" bride disagree:The "unimportant, the my nose Long led five times ……" bridegroom say:"Don't deceive you to say, I the crease of face be something to do;
Bride desire speech again, lead in a short while just say:Bridegroom's side of"I also not deceived you, in fact I this beautiful face was whole to eight times permit just whole become so ……" take off the blouse side to say:"My heart but start to depend to fight a machine maintenance jump about of ……" bride continuation chest:"I did an after operation just so good shape ……"
The bridegroom's action slow down:"Since you be so frank, I tell you my biggest secret- because of economy crisis explosion, I already quick bankruptcy ……" bride also the elephant make the biggest decision:"Original I don't want let the person know, but you be so good to me, I tell you good- in fact I originally ain't a woman, I am to do to change sex surgical operation ……"
"Too good!"Bridegroom excitement get call get up, say while pick oneself of epidermis, peep out inside black of hair, he tight tight hug a bride:"Dear of, in fact I be a gorilla, you return to forest to go to life with me…………"

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A millionaire acceded to the wedding of a beautiful female stars. Below Lane. The groom said : "We both as a husband and wife on trust each other. I have a few little secret to tell you, please do not...

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A millionaire acceded to the wedding of a beautiful female stars. Below Lane. The groom said : "We both as a husband and wife on trust each other. I have a few little secret to tell you, please do not surprising. "brides customs 10000 Farming seafaring smile : "Anyone who does not have several small secret ah. Since privacy can you tell me I have also decided to take my little secret to tell you. "grasping with the groom under the head of the presentation of the bride, said : "Actually, I have a bald-headed ..." did not expect the bride hair also put a hand down Abstract : "It is not alarmist, I was born bald whole ... "a stare see groom their hair bald distracted bride initiative frankly : "You see my eyes enlarged beautiful? In fact, the cut is artificial ... "the groom was not surprised :" This is not what You see, I left eye ... "He rose themselves from the left eye orbital Lane for the out that he was in the eye was a fake. The groom then said : "I not only in the eye, my teeth were false ..." the bride's wrong : "It does not matter. LAI my nose off five back ... "the groom said :" this very evening you said, I face wrinkles is done; The bride reserved. A little while later only said : "I have this very evening you, in fact, I pretty faceBeside This is the whole eight Yung took into this ... "groom edge from T-shirt saying :" My heart pacemaker but on the maintenance of beating ... "refers to the bride under Bra : "I have to do after the surgery is of such good ..." the groom's slow down : "If you are so frank, I put my biggest secret let me tell you -- because of the economic crisis broke out, I was nearly bankrupt ... "brides, like with the greatest determination :" I originally did not want people to know, but you told me so well, I told you, Well -- actually, I was not a woman, I have to do the mutated surgery ... "" wonderful! "Groom excitedly called, rose stripped of their skin, exposing the inside darkish hair, closely treated as bride : "Dear, I am actually a gorilla, you told me to return to the forest to live ... ... ... ... ... ..." 怎么样

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A millionaire acceded to the wedding of a beautiful female stars. Below Lane. The groom said : "We both as a husband and wife on trust each other. I have a few little secret to tell you, please do not...

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A millionaire acceded to the wedding of a beautiful female stars. Below Lane. The groom said : "We both as a husband and wife on trust each other. I have a few little secret to tell you, please do not surprising. "brides customs 10000 Farming seafaring smile : "Anyone who does not have several small secret ah. Since privacy can you tell me I have also decided to take my little secret to tell you. "grasping with the groom under the head of the presentation of the bride, said : "Actually, I have a bald-headed ..." did not expect the bride hair also put a hand down Abstract : "It is not alarmist, I was born bald whole ... "a stare see groom their hair bald distracted bride initiative frankly : "You see my eyes enlarged beautiful? In fact, the cut is artificial ... "the groom was not surprised :" This is not what You see, I left eye ... "He rose themselves from the left eye orbital Lane for the out that he was in the eye was a fake. The groom then said : "I not only in the eye, my teeth were false ..." the bride's wrong : "It does not matter. LAI my nose off five back ... "the groom said :" this very evening you said, I face wrinkles is done; The bride reserved. A little while later only said : "I have this very evening you, in fact, I pretty faceBeside This is the whole eight Yung took into this ... "groom edge from T-shirt saying :" My heart pacemaker but on the maintenance of beating ... "refers to the bride under Bra : "I have to do after the surgery is of such good ..." the groom's slow down : "If you are so frank, I put my biggest secret let me tell you -- because of the economic crisis broke out, I was nearly bankrupt ... "brides, like with the greatest determination :" I originally did not want people to know, but you told me so well, I told you, Well -- actually, I was not a woman, I have to do the mutated surgery ... "" wonderful! "Groom excitedly called, rose stripped of their skin, exposing the inside darkish hair, closely treated as bride : "Dear, I am actually a gorilla, you told me to return to the forest to live ... ... ... ... ... ..."还行吧

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A wealthy man fruitfully married a beautiful female movie star. Innuptial chamber. The bridegroom said that, "We since have been thehusbands and wives, should by the honest treatment. I have severalyo...

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A wealthy man fruitfully married a beautiful female movie star. Innuptial chamber. The bridegroom said that, "We since have been thehusbands and wives, should by the honest treatment. I have severalyoung secrets to have to tell you, please you do not be startled." Thebride 风情万种 sound of flowing water as soon as smiles: "Who notseveral small secrets. Since you can tell the privacy I, I alsodecided tells mine small secret you." The bridegroom grasped in the top of the head with the hand to sendthe wrap, said to the bride: "Actually I already bald person... ... "Had not thought the bride conveniently has also picked 长发 down:"This has any to make much ado about nothing, I am since birth entirebare... ... " As soon as sees the bridegroom to stare at bald own is being in adaze, the bride confesses on own initiative: "You looked mydouble-fold eyelid is attractive? Actually is artificially shears...... " The bridegroom actually is not startled: "This does notcalculate any, you look at my 左眼... ... " He on the one hand saidon the other hand has taken own left eyeball from the eye socket,originally his 左眼 is false. The bridegroom then said that, "Not only my 左眼, my tooth also isfalse... ... " The bride thinks otherwise: "No problem, my nose hasswollen five chapters... ... " The bridegroom said that, "Is openabout the facts you to say that, on my face wrinkle is does; The bride started to speak but hesitated, crosses a while only then tosay that, "I also was open about the facts you, actually I thisattractive cheek was puts in order eight Rong Caizheng to becomesuch... ... " The bridegroom on the one hand escapes on the other handthe coat to say that, "My heart but depends on the actuatormaintenance to beat... ... " The bride has referred to under the bra:"After I was have undergone the surgery the only then such goodstature... ... " Bridegroom's movement slowly gets down: "Since your such confess, Itell I biggest secret you - because the economic crisis erupts, Ialready quickly went bankrupt... ... " The bride has also likely madethe biggest resolution that, "Originally I do not want to let theperson know, but you are such good to me, I tell you good - actuallyme originally am not the woman, I was have undergone the sex changeoperation... ... " "Too has been good!" The bridegroom is excited cries out, said whiledigs up own epidermis inside, reveals the dark wool, he closely ishugging the bride: "Dear, actually I am an orangutan, you return tothe forest with me to live... ... ... ... " 文底不错吧

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一、对水培番茄树设施的要求
1．智能化温室
由于番茄树栽培是设施环境高度智能化与无土栽培技术高水平发挥的一种综合性技术，对温室设施要求较高，常年温度需控制在15--30℃范围之内，光照充足，温室内要有湿帘降温设施，外面有遮阳网等设施，使番茄树一直在最适环境中生长。
2．营养液槽
用于配制贮存营养液。一般置于地下，用砖和水泥砌成，要求不漏水，其容积大小根据栽种...

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一、对水培番茄树设施的要求
1．智能化温室
由于番茄树栽培是设施环境高度智能化与无土栽培技术高水平发挥的一种综合性技术，对温室设施要求较高，常年温度需控制在15--30℃范围之内，光照充足，温室内要有湿帘降温设施，外面有遮阳网等设施，使番茄树一直在最适环境中生长。
2．营养液槽
用于配制贮存营养液。一般置于地下，用砖和水泥砌成，要求不漏水，其容积大小根据栽种番茄树株数而定。
3．栽培床(槽)
用于种植番茄树的设施，可以置于地下，也可以置于地上。为了使栽培床(槽)中营养液温度少受气温的影响，同时降低番茄树设施成本，置于地下更为有利。置于地下的栽培床(槽)也是用砖和水泥砌成，要求不漏水。有条件的也可以用PE板、PVC板制成栽培床。栽培床的容积在1立方米左右，底部设溢水口，上盖5cm厚聚苯板，使栽培床与外界环境隔开。聚苯板上开一5--10cm的洞，用于定植番茄树。
4．加液设施
用于供给番茄树营养液，可以用铁管制成，也可以用PVC管制成。营养液槽中装有水泵，水泵可以用潜水泵，也可以用离心泵。在电源处安上定时器，使水泵开关时间能自控。
5．回液设施
回液管置于地下，用PVC管制成。回液管—头与栽培床中的溢水口相连，一头流回营养液槽，使营养液循环使用。
6．充氧泵
为增加营养液中溶氧，使用充氧泵充氧。
7．栽培架
番茄树最后长成葡萄架一样，所以需要栽培架支撑。栽培架高约2m，面积30--50平方米。主架用铁管焊成，主管间用铅丝连成网状，用于固定番茄枝条。
二、栽培技术
1．播种育苗
根据笔者实践与研究，番茄树以采用中型红果品种为佳。这类番茄果型大小中等，单果重约100g，红色，果肉硬，浆汁少，果皮厚，耐贮存，在番茄树上熟透后不摘也不会裂果，在树上保留时间较长，便于观赏。现在我国一般番茄树采用以色列“R144”、荷兰“百利”、北京蔬菜研究中心培育的“佳红4号”。播种时间以7月下旬、8月上旬为宜。育苗方法最好采用水培育苗，如果没有水培育苗设施采用基质栽培育苗也可以。
2．定植前的准备工作
(1)配制营养液
①营养液配方：采用北京蔬菜研究中心番茄配方。此配方适于北方硬水水质。肥料用量是硝酸钙707g／t、硝酸钾404．2g／t、硫酸钾260．7g／t、硝酸铵40．0g/t、硫酸镁152．1g／t、磷酸200--250mL／t。微肥配方为EDTAFe 16g／t、硼酸3g／t、硫酸锰2g／t、硫酸锌0．22g/t、硫酸铜0．08g/t、钼酸铵0．02g／t。
②营养液配制方法：首先配制原液。例如预备配制1t营养液，称取硝酸钙707g放入1号桶中，加入10L水，充分搅拌溶解，制成10L1号原液。再称硝酸钾404．2g、硫酸钾260．7g、硝酸铵40．0g、硫酸镁152．1g，一起倒入2号桶中，加入10L水，充分搅拌溶解，制成10L2号原液。营养液槽中加入清水0．2t，将溶解后的1号原液加入，继续加水并搅拌。营养液槽中水量达到0．8t时再加入2号原液，继续加水并搅拌，至水加到1t时停止加水。加入溶解后的22g混合微肥和200--250mL磷酸，搅拌均匀，此时配液完毕。配液时应按上述操作过程作业，切忌1号原液与2号原液加入时间间隔过短，以防发生沉淀。
(2)将配好的营养液从营养液槽中用水泵加到番茄树栽培床中，并形成循环。测试营养液的EC值、pH值是否符合目标值。
(3)调好定时器。为实现加液自动化，可在电源处加装定时器与水泵相连，以控制开关泵时间。根据苗子长势及季节确定开关时间，间断循环加液。循环目的在于通过循环增加营养液中的溶氧，同时使营养液中的养分均衡。
3．定植
当番茄苗长到5--6叶时即可定植。基质番茄苗从盘(钵)中取出，将根用清水洗净，注意不要伤根。而后定植栽培板的定植穴中，番茄茎的基部用一较粗的绳吊