请帮助修改一篇英语作文!今天必定选择答案,改的好再加!There is a fine tradition that the young should respect the elder in China.The tradition continues until now.But with the fast development of the society,some young people hav

请帮助修改一篇英语作文!今天必定选择答案,改的好再加!There is a fine tradition that the young should respect the elder in China.The tradition continues until now.But with the fast development of the society,some young people hav
请帮助修改一篇英语作文!今天必定选择答案,改的好再加!
There is a fine tradition that the young should respect the elder in China.The tradition continues until now.But with the fast development of the society,some young people have no time to show their respect to their parents.Young people have their own social circles,and there are different ways of life from their parents.They prefer going out for a holiday to living together with their parents.I think young people need their own life and they shouldn’t ignore their parents’ life the same.
Nowadays young people need to face intense competition,they need to make more money to support their family.As a result,they have to make a difficult choice between playing out of doors and caring for their parents on holidays.Caring for parents is obligatory[ɔ'bligətəri]必须的,but I think young people should help their parents to look for their own life.
There is a generation gap between young people and their parents—different tastes,hobbies,ideas and so on.Young people don’t want to change their life-style and so do their parents.Most old people like live together with the people of similar age group,so young people can help their parent to organization a golden age club.Old generation have the same life-style,hobby,daily topic,and so on.The club can bring old people great joy and vitality [vai'tæliti]活力.Of course,young people can’t throw over elder to club and parents need children’s care after all.
作文的主题是：对当今青年在自己的生活安排和对父母的养育照顾之间的矛盾冲突的讨论.可以大篇幅的修改,改的好200分再加,今天就给!
每个人的修改我都会认真的看，虽然分只能给一个人，但是我绝对不会无视大家的劳动！
星辰云翔 改了几个我都觉得不错，但是我的作文就改这么一点儿吗？我觉得还有些表述像中国式的，只是我水平如此。专业一点，指出我作文中中国式的东西，动个刀子，改下，

请帮助修改一篇英语作文!今天必定选择答案,改的好再加!There is a fine tradition that the young should respect the elder in China.The tradition continues until now.But with the fast development of the society,some young people hav
There is a fine(old比较好,没有fine tradition一说) tradition that the young should respect（pay respect to比单一的respect要好） the elder（the elderly） in China（in China最好掉到old tradition后,这样比较顺）.The tradition continues until now（这一整句改成This moral has been preserved until now更好）.But with the fast（rapid） development of the society,some young people have no time to show their respect to（show respct for或者pay respect to） their parents.Young people have their own social circles,and there are different ways of life from their parents.（这一句改为：As the young have their own social circles,their life can be very different from their parents'） They prefer going out for（改为on）a holiday to living together with their parents（整句改为They preferto going out on holidays than staying together with their family.prefer doing to doing sth是对的但不常用）.I think young people need their own life and（改为but） they shouldn’t ignore their parents’ life the same（the same改为as well,整句话是个人观点,宜放在最前面或者最后总结,不应在此插入）.
Nowadays young people need to（need to 改为are forced to,不是他们自己愿意face的） face（the） intense（intensive,不是intense） competition,（And,此处少连词）they need to（have to,理由同上） make more money to support their family.As a result,they have to make a difficult choice between playing out of doors and caring for their parents on holidays（这句话是典型的Chinguish,改为：As a result,they have to get trapped in a dilemna between their social life and family relations）.Caring for parents is obligatory,but I think young people should help their parents to look for their own life(这句整句话是什么意思?我没看懂).
There is a eneration（这个不算generation gap吧?直接改为There lies a huge gap between...） gap between young people and their parents—different tastes,(distinctive) hobbies,(insimilar)ideas and so on.Young people don’t want to change their life-style(中间没有连字符) and so do their parents.Most old people like（to） live together with the people of similar age group,so young people can help their parent to organization（developo,rganization是名词,也不能直接译为organize） a golden age club（这个是直译过来的吗?应该是the elder's house,后面可以再加个同位语解释一下a place where the aged can enjoy themselves together）.Old generation have the same life-style,hobby,daily topic,and so on.(废话删掉!) The club can bring old people great joy and vitality [vai'tæliti]活力.Of course,young people can’t throw over （去掉over,这是什么词组啊）elder to club and parents need children’s care after all.
我这次有点太严了,总体而言,我觉得你的英语还是不错的,只是由于接触的native的东西不多,局限在Chinguish里了,假以时日,你的英语应该会更好的.

In China, there is a fine tradition that the young should respect the elder, which still exist now. But with the fast development of our society, some young people have no time to show their respect t...

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In China, there is a fine tradition that the young should respect the elder, which still exist now. But with the fast development of our society, some young people have no time to show their respect to their parents. Young people have their own social circles, and different ways of life from their parents. They prefer going out for a holiday rather than living together with their parents. It is true that young people need their own life, but they shouldn’t ignore their parents’ life on the same time.
Nowadays young people need to face intense competition, they need to earn more money to support their family. As a result, they have to make a difficult choice between playing out of doors and caring for their parents on holidays. Caring for parents is obligatory[ɔ'bligətəri]必须的, but I think young people should help their parents to find their own life.
There is a generation gap between young people and their parents—different tastes, hobbies, ideas and so on. Young people don’t want to change their life-style and so do their parents. Most elder people like living together with the people of similar age, so young people can help their parent to organization a golden age club. The elder have the same life-style, hobby, daily topic, and so on. The club can bring old people great joy and vitality [vai'tæliti]活力. Of course, young people can’t throw over the elder to club. After all, parents still need children’s care.

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第四行那句They prefer going out for a holiday to living together with their parents.我觉得应改为They perfer to going out for a holiday rather than living together with their parents.
第五行I think young people ...

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第四行那句They prefer going out for a holiday to living together with their parents.我觉得应改为They perfer to going out for a holiday rather than living together with their parents.
第五行I think young people need their own life and they shouldn’t ignore their parents’ life the same. 应改为I reckon that young people need their own life but they also couldn't ignore their parents' life.
第二段第一行的intense competition可改为drastic competition.
第三段第三行Most old people like live together with the people of similar age group应改为Most old people like live together with the group of people who are (the) similar age.
第三段第四行so young people can help their parent to organization a golden age club中organization是个名词，应改为organise(organize)
最后一句话那个Of course, young people can’t throw over elder to club and parents need children’s care after all. 我觉得可改为Of course, young people can’t leave their parents alone and parents need children’s care after all.
The club can bring old people great joy and vitality [vai'tæliti]活力
我觉得这句话这样说是不是好一些：
Old people can benefit a lot from the club
第二段最后一句but I think young people should help their parents to look for their own life. 可改为but I think young people should help their parents to look for their own lifestyle which they want.

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There is a fine tradition that the young should respect the elder in China. The tradition continues until now. But with the fast development of the society, some young people have no time to show thei...

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There is a fine tradition that the young should respect the elder in China. The tradition continues until now. But with the fast development of the society, some young people have no time to show their respect to their parents. Young people have their own social circles. They prefer going out for a holiday to living together with their parents. I think young people need their own life and they shouldn’t ignore their parents’ life the same.
Nowadays young people need to face intense competition, they need to make more money to support their family. As a result, they have to make a difficult choice between playing out of doors and caring for their parents on holidays. Caring for parents is obligatory, but I think young people should help their parents to look for their own life.
There is a generation gap between young people and their parentsdifferent tastes, hobbies, ideas and so on. Young people don’t want to change their life-style and so do their parents. Most old people like live together with the people of similar age group, so young people can help their parent to organization a golden age club. Old generation have the same life-style, hobby, daily topic, and so on. The club can bring old people great joy and vitality. Of course, young people can’t throw over elder to club and parents need children’s care after all.

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自己写就自己该 这样才知道哪里不足

There is a fine tradition that the young should respect the elder in China. The tradition continues until now.

(The tradition of respecting the elder has endured in the Chinese culture for c...

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There is a fine tradition that the young should respect the elder in China. The tradition continues until now.

(The tradition of respecting the elder has endured in the Chinese culture for centuries.)
But with the fast development of the society, some young people have no time to show their respect to their parents.
(However, as China stepped into the fast-paced 21st century, an increasingly number of youngsters started to disregard this tradition)
Young people have their own social circles, and there are different ways of life from their parents. They prefer going out for a holiday to living together with their parents.
(They say they have their own social and professional life, which differs drastically from their pareents. They would rather go out for a holiday with friends their age than stay at home with their elder parents)
I think young people need their own life and they shouldn’t ignore their parents’ life the same.
(I totally understand the difficulties young people encouter these days, and I agree young people are entitled to enjoy their way of life. But at the same time, I would strongly argue that the younger generation should pay due attention and care to their parents)
Nowadays young people need to face intense competition, they need to make more money to support their family. As a result, they have to make a difficult choice between playing out of doors and caring for their parents on holidays. Caring for parents is obligatory[ɔ'bligətəri]必须的, but I think young people should help their parents to look for their own life.
(It is understandable that young people are facing increasing competitions from the society nowadays, but just for the reason of taking care of ourselves, attending the calls from our friends, colleagues and superiors, can we just leave aside and neglect the needs of our parents, who have devoted all their life to us and who have always been there when we need help?)
There is a generation gap between young people and their parents—different tastes, hobbies, ideas and so on. Young people don’t want to change their life-style and so do their parents. Most old people like live together with the people of similar age group, so young people can help their parent to organization a golden age club. Old generation have the same life-style, hobby, daily topic, and so on. The club can bring old people great joy and vitality [vai'tæliti]活力. Of course, young people can’t throw over elder to club and parents need children’s care after all.
(It is true that there is a generation gap of between tastes, hobbies, values of the kids and the parents. But there are many ways to eliminate the gap and converge the two generations. An elder people club, for instance, looks like a good idea. If the young generation helped the elder to built up such a club, the elder people can gather together, and enjoy their time together. This way, both the two generations can enjoy their life with people who share their tastes, hobbies, and values and have fun)

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Line1: The tradition continues until now. 病句，删掉。
Line3: social circle 改成social life. 之后and their culture is quite different from their parents.
Line 5:the same删掉。
Line5-6: need to重复使用的太多，删...

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Line1: The tradition continues until now. 病句，删掉。
Line3: social circle 改成social life. 之后and their culture is quite different from their parents.
Line 5:the same删掉。
Line5-6: need to重复使用的太多，删掉一些不必要的。
out of doors 改为 outdoors.
Line 8: obligatory改为 an important responsibility
Line 8: i think重复使用，可改为in my opinion,
Line11: so do改为neither do
Lne13: to organization a golden age club 改为 to organize an elderly club. （golden age是中式英语。）
语法及表达问题基本上就这些。

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It is the fine tradition that the young should respect the senior citizen continues in China. However, with the development of the society, more and more young people show their less and less respect ...

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It is the fine tradition that the young should respect the senior citizen continues in China. However, with the development of the society, more and more young people show their less and less respect to their parents. They get their own social circles with different ways of life from their parents. Compared with living together with their parents, they prefer going out for a holiday. I think young people need their own life but they shouldn’t ignore their parents the same.
It is admitted that the young face intense competition, and they have to make money to support their family. However, it can't be the reason for not caring for their parents. before long they'll have their own children and become parents, would they like their kids treat them like that? No, they wouldn't.
Because of different tastes, hobbies, ideas and so on, it makes a generation gap between the young and their parents. No one would like to change their life-style.Then the golden age clubs springs. The club can bring old people great joy and vitality for most old people are of similar age group and have the same life-style, hobby, daily topic, and so on. More and more elders live in. However it's not the end. It is the love from children the the elders want best.
备注：改得有点急，可能里面有点小的语法错误，您仔细看一下修改一下吧，我好久没写过了，不过还是希望对您有点帮助。要是还有什么问题可以再问，很高兴能帮您

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