有人可以帮忙修改一下雅思作文么?剑4 test1 task2Compare the advantage and disadvantage of three of the following as media for communicating information.State which you consider to be the most effective.Comics books radio television film

有人可以帮忙修改一下雅思作文么?剑4 test1 task2Compare the advantage and disadvantage of three of the following as media for communicating information.State which you consider to be the most effective.Comics books radio television film
有人可以帮忙修改一下雅思作文么?
剑4 test1 task2
Compare the advantage and disadvantage of three of the following as media for communicating information.State which you consider to be the most effective.Comics books radio television film theatre.
以下是我写的作文：
In daily life,communicating of information is quite important to most of people.There are quite a number of medias for communication,books,radio and television are three of them.All these medias have advantages as well as disadvantages of their own.
Books are quite a basic media for communicating information.Books can go to the very detail of information.Actually,most of us acquired our knowledge via books in school.The information from books is also easy to review.Whenever you want to review the knowledge from a book,you can easily go through that book to remember what you have learned.The disadvantage of books as a media for communicating information is obvious - the information from books is not up to date.knowledge in books is always defined months or even years ago.It is not easy for people to find the latest information in a book.
Radio can give us the most updated information.Breaking news that happened minutes ago can be broadcasted by radio.Another big advantage of radio is its mobility.Most of the radio boxes are small and light of weight.People can put it in pocket and take it to anywhere.You can listen to radio while you are driving.However,lack of visual effect could be less attractive to young people.Children and teens may find it is boring to listen to radio comparing with watching TV.
Television is an important media for communicating information.It can bring us the most updated information and give us multimedia experience via not only audio but also video.But it has a critical disadvantage - that is mobility.You will not willing to put a TV set in your package while you are having outdoor activities,and please trust me,you are absolutely not allowed to watch TV while your are driving a car.
In conclusion,as no longer a teenager for me,I would like to choose radio as the most effective media for communicating information.

有人可以帮忙修改一下雅思作文么?剑4 test1 task2Compare the advantage and disadvantage of three of the following as media for communicating information.State which you consider to be the most effective.Comics books radio television film
我是考托福的,对雅思了解不够,
但是如果按托福作文的话.
我觉得你用词简单了,
很多单词都是很口语话的,
还有句式简单,很多都是IT CAN,
最后就是一篇文章中出现过多相同的词,
比如,ADVANTAGE和DISADVANTAGE,
虽然不知道雅思有没有不重复词的要求,
但是如果可以换词是肯定可以增色不少的.