谁能帮忙批改下我的雅思作文As a result of industrialization around the globe,cities have become the centres of human activities.Less people are required in agricultural production and more are needed in factories and corporations which le

谁能帮忙批改下我的雅思作文As a result of industrialization around the globe,cities have become the centres of human activities.Less people are required in agricultural production and more are needed in factories and corporations which le
谁能帮忙批改下我的雅思作文
As a result of industrialization around the globe,cities have become the centres of human activities.Less people are required in agricultural production and more are needed in factories and corporations which leads to the construction of cities.Despite the trend of urbanization,some blame cities for inflicting harm on people's health,which is an argument that I fully agree with.
One of the most obvious problems that cities have is pollution.There are multipal sources of it,including cars,factories and domestic activities.Specifically,they produce toxic gas,solid and liquide waste.Not only is there disease-causing substance in the atomosphere that can be inhaled by city dwellers,there are also pollutants in water which are not so easily removed.
As well as environmental problems,the urban lifestyle is also detrimental to people's conditions,The fast pace of living brings great stess to people in cities,which causes anxieties and sometimes even mental illnesses.Furthermore,the lack of rest and relaxation due to constant noise and short sleeping hours is damaging to people's health statuses.
Admittedly,cities have well constructed facilities such as hospitals which make it convenient for urban residents to get access to medical care.However,living in cities still does more harm than good to people's health.
In conclusion,as the downside of urbanization,cities cause harm to people's health,both physically and mentally.

谁能帮忙批改下我的雅思作文As a result of industrialization around the globe,cities have become the centres of human activities.Less people are required in agricultural production and more are needed in factories and corporations which le
我觉得大概可以7.5吧~感觉雅思作文考官还有地域的因素也很大,每场考试的标准都有一点点不同,雅思救星是指这是一篇范文吗?那是不是都检查过语法错误了,如果没有语法错误我觉得这篇7.5是没问题吧~如果遇到好考官说不定能更高~
以上回答你满意么?