求托福老师或者托福高手来帮忙看看小弟这篇作文 tpo 23的独立写作To be a survival,to be make your own life more meaningful,it is even more harder,in current society.Attribute to the rising human population year by year,and whic

求托福老师或者托福高手来帮忙看看小弟这篇作文 tpo 23的独立写作To be a survival,to be make your own life more meaningful,it is even more harder,in current society.Attribute to the rising human population year by year,and whic
求托福老师或者托福高手来帮忙看看小弟这篇作文 tpo 23的独立写作
To be a survival,to be make your own life more meaningful,it is even more harder,in current society.Attribute to the rising human population year by year,and which lead to the more limited good jobs,we mankind face a grimly tremendous competition,which means that it is not surprised to take challenge ever second,and make an accomplishment faster than your other opponents.In a simple word,it is high time that we need courage to take risk and speed to compete,isn't it?However,some people hold the opinion that we should slow down if we want to achieve something,while others state the opposite idea.Personal speaking,I prefer the latter one.
To start with,doing work slowly ,saying from a big angle ,can not complete your work efficiently.Because during the time your take it slow to do the job,your opponents can probably finish the same mission before you.For instance,once you get one job,and you are wanting to proceed it slowly to learn something in it.But others have finished many works while you just complete one,and they can get more money than you do.
On the other side,a maxim is also generally known,saying:"Haste makes waste".It is publicly believed that no one is highly willing to take risk making mistakes.Nevertheless,there is also another proverb goes:"No cross,no crown",which means that nobody can reach the top without any obstacles.At the same time,working slowly does not mean that you will succeed.Additionally,it is a waste of time.
Lastly,many people who live in modern world regard taking risk as one of the factors to realize their goal or the meanings of life.Take Steve Jobs as an example,he did not graduate from university,but depended on his constantly zeal of taking risk and innovation,though he made dozens of mistake,no matter what they are,he learn from them.Went through those all,we can see how successful he is now.Therefore,work quickly and taking risk of making mistake is not only for inner impulse but also significant for our fascinating life.
Based on those arguments,I would like to say that working quickly can positively push us to go for our goals and next goals.It do good to not only the efficiency but also our expierences' accumulation.That is to say,working faster is way too meaningful and important than taking it slow.

求托福老师或者托福高手来帮忙看看小弟这篇作文 tpo 23的独立写作To be a survival,to be make your own life more meaningful,it is even more harder,in current society.Attribute to the rising human population year by year,and whic
首句,survivor吧?幸存者.survival是幸存的名词. 还有ever second,笔误.every.
从你要表达的意思,可以看出你有一定的思想和词汇积累,个别语言也很地道（美剧看多了哇?哈哈 握手）.但是语言驾驭能力比较弱,中式英语现象严重,语法也很多漏洞.作为中国人我觉得不是特别影响阅读,但是阅卷者可能会很困惑.个人建议,没有太大把握驾驭,还是简单清楚一点为好.