托福作文求大神批改!急,还有7天就考试了Some people prefer to do whateverjob with high salary,but others prefer to do the job that they are interestedin despite the relatively low wage of that job,which of job do you prefer?Aswe know,mo

托福作文求大神批改!急,还有7天就考试了Some people prefer to do whateverjob with high salary,but others prefer to do the job that they are interestedin despite the relatively low wage of that job,which of job do you prefer?Aswe know,mo
托福作文求大神批改!急,还有7天就考试了
Some people prefer to do whateverjob with high salary,but others prefer to do the job that they are interestedin despite the relatively low wage of that job,which of job do you prefer?
Aswe know,money is very important for us.Life is grounded on money.If you arerich,you would level live a comfortable life.For example,eat delicious food,live in big beautiful house or dress comfortable clothes; if you are poor,yourlife would be terrible.Maybe eat badly,live in a bad condition flat,or dresscheap clothes.So,having a job with high salary is a good way to earn themoney.A discuss that choose any job with high salary or choose a low wage thatyou are interested in.For me,I would like to choose a high salary jobalthough I am not really interested.
Firstly,high salary can bring me happy life,I can buy lots of things,for exampleclothes,pets,beading and so on.I am a girl who really enjoy shopping,so moneyis the most basic conditions.If I have a little money,how can I buy theclothes that I want?Last month,when I went shopping with my friends,I saw a skirtwhich is expensive but every suitable for me.I really want to buy up to now.If I get a high salary job,I can buy the clothes easily when I get the salary.
Secondly,I can try to enjoy the job that with high salary.As the saying goes,interestcan be cultivated.As long as I work hard and had achievements,I would grew tolove this job.
Thirdly,if I get a low pay of job that I am interested,I would work happily,but Iwould not earn enough money to life.In fact,the salary should support notonly my life but also my family.Such as I would give the costing of living tomy parents and I should pay the fee of school to my son.How can I do this if Ido not have enough money?I have an example of my cousin.She is a painter whoworks in a painting company,likes drawing very much.However,her paintingskill are not every good so that very few people want to buy her painting.Shework with very income,and her parents give money to her every month,so shedoes not concern about money.In contradict,the money that my parents earnonly can support themselves,so I should support my life by myself.
Inconclusion,I would prefer to choose a high salary job although I am notinterested at first,I would try to love this job and do a good job in my work.When I get the salary in every month,I would enjoy my life.

托福作文求大神批改!急,还有7天就考试了Some people prefer to do whateverjob with high salary,but others prefer to do the job that they are interestedin despite the relatively low wage of that job,which of job do you prefer?Aswe know,mo
不是我打击你.你这次托福作文估计悬了.
你的文章结构没问题,第一段我建议不要太强调有钱和没钱的差异,因为题目涉及了钱和兴趣两个方面,起码要个兴趣一点文笔才能引出你的观点.第2观点太短,要写饱满,你如果实在写不出来兴趣的话就索性写个反面的,然后上面改成部分同意.
语法错误微多,单词用法不对,比如“I would grew to love this job.',哪有grew to love的说法,可以写成The achievements I got are going to encourage me to work hard and enjoy others clapping.
你需要写的更detail一些可以弥补你用词的缺陷,比如eat delicious food（此次应改为eating,因为做主语）可以改成tasting Carruades de Lafite一类的.