批改托福作文Preserving the past is a waste of time.The past decades have witnessed an ever-widening gap between the tradition and modernization,owing to the rapid acceleration of technology and development of the society.It is on one hand claim

批改托福作文Preserving the past is a waste of time.The past decades have witnessed an ever-widening gap between the tradition and modernization,owing to the rapid acceleration of technology and development of the society.It is on one hand claim
批改托福作文
Preserving the past is a waste of time.
The past decades have witnessed an ever-widening gap between the tradition and modernization,owing to the rapid acceleration of technology and development of the society.It is on one hand claimed that preserving the past is a waste of time .Some people ,on the other hand ,put forward the notion that preserving the past is extraordinarily vital to the whole human society and progress of the technology.
To begin with ,preserving the past is important for the whole community since the old historic relics are parts of the cultural heritage that gives the identity of the past and old life.Old homes and living quarters are also parts of the history ,and once destroyed ,and buried under thousands of tons to concrete and steel ,they will lose forever.For example ,The Great Wall is a prominent historic relics that indicates the hard-working of the our ancestors and also shows the brilliant and intellectual brain of the technology in the path of our China’s development.As a result ,we need to protect them well and preserve them by using a great amount of money and a huge number of labours.Because the Great Wall is a part of our cultural heritage which drawn a paramount attention from all around the world.
Further more,relics and pasts are valuable for the scientific researches.As there are so much information which is offered by the history ,like many rare documents in the past and some codes which record the past vital information .In addition ,we can see many statistics from the old buildings.We need to learn about the past life and culture through the extraordinary pasts buildings .Taking an example of the pyramid,we can observe the marvel scenes and works which surprise all the people over the world.They see the pyramid and the scientists do researches to find the scientific equations and logic reasons from the building.
Finally,we should let more generations see the old buildings.How can they live in this changeable world without knowing what is happened in the past and how can they adapt to this colouful world without knowing how brilliant of our ancestors?Then ,we can see the point.We need to preserve the pasts and build the museums in order to let our generations learn from the pasts and have a brighter future .
In a word ,I give my heartfelt aggrement to the assertion that preserving the pasts is an absolutely meaningful job which means every one in our community should admit the significance of this issue .

批改托福作文Preserving the past is a waste of time.The past decades have witnessed an ever-widening gap between the tradition and modernization,owing to the rapid acceleration of technology and development of the society.It is on one hand claim
To begin with ,preserving the past is important for the whole community for the old historic relics is part of the cultural heritage that gives the identity of the past and old life.Old homes and living quarters are also parts of the history ,and once destroyed and buried under thousands of tons to concrete and steel ,they will be lost forever.For example ,The Great Wall is one of the most prominent historic relics that indicates the hard work of the our ancestors and also shows the brilliance and intelligence of our technology in the path of China’s development.To we should spare no money and efforts to protect them and preserve them.Because the Great Wall is a part of our cultural heritage which draws paramount attention from all around the world.
Further more,relics and history are most valuable for the scientific researches.As there is so much information which can be found in them,like many rare documents of the past and some codes which keep some vital records of the time gone by .In addition ,we can acquire many statistics from the old buildings.We need to learn about the past life and culture through the extraordinary pasts buildings .Taking the pyramid as an emample,we can observe the marvelous scenes and works surprise all the people over the world.It is visited with great frequency and lots of researches are under way in search for scientific equations and logic reasons from the building.
Finally,we should let more generations see the old buildings.How can they live in this changeable world without knowing what has happened in the past and how can they adapt to this colouful world without knowing how brilliant of our ancestors were?My point is that museums should be built to preserve the things of the past so that our children and theirs could learn from the past and have a brighter future .
In a word ,I give my heartfelt aggrement to the assertion that preserving the past is an absolutely meaningful job which means every one in our community should admit the significance of this issue .
你的英语应该还是不错的 但是英文议论文有几点要注意：
1 议论文要客观,尽量避免we我们这样的词来表述观点 heartfelt来表达情感
2 英语说话很直接 表到论点的句子一定直接 精炼 说白了就是短
3 最后也是最难的 就是西方的 逻辑思维 有些论据用中文来理解很通顺,但在英文中没有直接逻辑关系 就是一句话翻来覆去说
希望对你有所帮助

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建议你直接到新东方的批改网提交一下，有外教批改，还能给你范文重写什么的，打的分也比较准
我从那改过，还不错。还有品论、修改意见什么的,老师都是外国人,会以外国人的思维去改,帮助不少.以后练托福口语也可以用
新东方批改网作文“七步”评分流程
1 明确批改级别
2 查看作文题目
3 通览作文冰雨反馈区做简单评语
4 逐行批改作文，指出并修改错误，同时表明...

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建议你直接到新东方的批改网提交一下，有外教批改，还能给你范文重写什么的，打的分也比较准
我从那改过，还不错。还有品论、修改意见什么的,老师都是外国人,会以外国人的思维去改,帮助不少.以后练托福口语也可以用
新东方批改网作文“七步”评分流程
1 明确批改级别
2 查看作文题目
3 通览作文冰雨反馈区做简单评语
4 逐行批改作文，指出并修改错误，同时表明错误类型
5 对作文的逻辑结构，论据相关性，行文连贯性等问题在评论区进行评论
6 给出作文在以下四项评分指标方面的分值：
Response to the prompt
切题
Organization
文章结构
Development and Details
内容展开及逻辑性
Grammar
语法准确性
7 换算成相应考试的作文评分

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1. 不要使用太多的people,可以用 the individuals, human beings.
2开头我都见过很多次了，呵呵。不过可以用啦。
3 单词使用可以高级一点，important--crucial,significant, vital
can--be enable to see--look back/trace back the history ba...

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1. 不要使用太多的people,可以用 the individuals, human beings.
2开头我都见过很多次了，呵呵。不过可以用啦。
3 单词使用可以高级一点，important--crucial,significant, vital
can--be enable to see--look back/trace back the history back to
building--architecture should--ought to/ be responsible to
many-- abundant/ lush/ magnitude
4 论证的时候要思路清晰，抓关键词
第一段，key words: cultural heritage可以强调其历史文化的重要意义
第二段，key words:scientific research可以用恐龙化石等例子说明对进化论等科学领域的意义
第三段，key words: cutural identity 你没有用例子，可以简要说明一下中国的传统节日对生活的影响，但作为托福作文也不用那么多
5 结尾可以再辨证的说明，对于过去，我们应本着取其精华，去其糟粕的原则。
我觉得你的作文挺好的，这个水平25分没问题。

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