能不能帮我挑挑英语作文的毛病,分很低,我也不知道哪里错了,是时态还是动词还是句子不对?作文如下本人作文如下Dear editor,I'm writing to tell you about the discussion we've had about whether it is necessary fo

能不能帮我挑挑英语作文的毛病,分很低,我也不知道哪里错了,是时态还是动词还是句子不对?作文如下本人作文如下Dear editor,I'm writing to tell you about the discussion we've had about whether it is necessary fo
能不能帮我挑挑英语作文的毛病,分很低,我也不知道哪里错了,是时态还是动词还是句子不对?
作文如下
本人作文如下
Dear editor,
I'm writing to tell you about the discussion we've had about whether it is necessary for middle school students to carry mobile phones to school.
Opinions are divided on the questions.Most of students think we should carry the mobile phone to school .Because it is convinient to talk with parents and it is a fashion .But most of teachers are against the idea .They think students is young.They can t control themselves effectively .In the evening,student spend a lot of time playing games and sending email.What s more there are a lot of phone in the school .
In my opinion ,studying is very importent ,

能不能帮我挑挑英语作文的毛病,分很低,我也不知道哪里错了,是时态还是动词还是句子不对?作文如下本人作文如下Dear editor,I'm writing to tell you about the discussion we've had about whether it is necessary fo
“Most of students think we should carry the mobile phone to school ”我觉得应该写成被允许we should be allow to；“carry”写成“bring”把“ convinientto”改成“convinient for”；把“the idea”改为“the opinion”；“They think students is young”中 students 是复数而 is是第三人称单数应该为 are；“student spend ”跟上面的问题一样；最后一句与全文不对调且importent写错应是important 以上是我个人观点不一定全对.

格式不对,开头少了问候,how are you !
后面少了 your sincerely, 加名子.
opinions vary from people to people 观点因人而异.
most of the student
because of its convenience .
most of the teachers
they con...

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格式不对,开头少了问候,how are you !
后面少了 your sincerely, 加名子.
opinions vary from people to people 观点因人而异.
most of the student
because of its convenience .
most of the teachers
they consider it young for students
they tend to spend much too time playing video games and sending text messages to other student.
which will allow them to put their study aside and focus their main attention on something else beyond their study.

你的问题一是格式,二是,表达意思不清楚,句子不连贯.

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Most of（ the ）students，talk with改为contact. Because 用的不好most of（ the） teachers.In the evening,student spend a lot of time 中的student改为students, what's more加逗号 there are a lot of phone（s) 最后一段表达自...

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Most of（ the ）students，talk with改为contact. Because 用的不好most of（ the） teachers.In the evening,student spend a lot of time 中的student改为students, what's more加逗号 there are a lot of phone（s) 最后一段表达自己观点太少了。还有你的字迹不会很差吧，这很重要。

表达观点不要只用think 可以说in their opinion,in my view,according to them(但不能说according to me) From my point of view ,for my part,as far as I know等等

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第2短开头 Most of the student think we should bring the mobille phone(或cell phone)to school , the teachers thinks students werw too young for cell phones,they would break the rules,or pay all there atta...

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第2短开头 Most of the student think we should bring the mobille phone(或cell phone)to school , the teachers thinks students werw too young for cell phones,they would break the rules,or pay all there attation on phone not educations,but the students don't think that way they thought it was cool(fashion) to bring to school.
however , i think studing is the most important thing for student ,we should put our phone to the side and start learning .
差不多这样就可以了

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写得还挺不错的啊，这么谦虚。有个别地方你自己看看吧。
Dear editor，
I'm writing to tell you about the discussion we've had about whether it is necessary for middle school students to carry mobile phones to school.
...

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写得还挺不错的啊，这么谦虚。有个别地方你自己看看吧。
Dear editor，
I'm writing to tell you about the discussion we've had about whether it is necessary for middle school students to carry mobile phones to school.
Opinions are divided on the questions.Most of students think we should carry the mobile phone to school .Because it is convinient to talk with parents and it is a fashion .But most of teachers are against the idea .They think students is young.They can t control themselves effectively .In the evening,students spend a lot of time playing games and sending emails.What s more there are a lot of phones in school .
In my opinion ,studying is very important .

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dear***,
i'm here to talk about the discussion we've had about whether if it's necessary for students to carry mobile phones to school.
In my view, i am not against with bring mobile to s...

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dear***,
i'm here to talk about the discussion we've had about whether if it's necessary for students to carry mobile phones to school.
In my view, i am not against with bring mobile to school.since monst students think we should have our phones is because it helps us easier to communicate,makes our social life better and specific one is that everyone thinks that carrying a mobile and looking at it all the time is COOL. therefore, the school board is trying to stop us from getting into using a phone that much, but maybe the student needed to go online and do research, which should be allowed from any teachers. the companies now are pruducing different kind of useful phones for us which cause a harder way for the school to stop us from using phones. A mobile phone can actually help us a lot, maybe about everything we may not know, we get to go online and search about questions.
studying is importent for all of us, but phones had now been added as part of student's useful tools to study.

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第二段第二句话most of后加the；students is young中的is改为are；a lot of phone 中pohone改为phones；单词重要为important；应用一些有水平的短语，像on the one hand，on the other hand，分开说明双方观点。注意 标点。开头结尾要优美一些。。凤头凤尾猪肚子就可得高分。。...

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第二段第二句话most of后加the；students is young中的is改为are；a lot of phone 中pohone改为phones；单词重要为important；应用一些有水平的短语，像on the one hand，on the other hand，分开说明双方观点。注意 标点。开头结尾要优美一些。。凤头凤尾猪肚子就可得高分。。

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你TM是傻吊，这都不会