有没有英语老师点评一下这两篇作文流行音乐是音乐的重要组成部分.很多人喜欢流行,尤其是年轻人,请谈谈对音乐的感受以下两篇文章三分的差距在哪?(满分25分,（A)14分 B)17分）请指出两篇

有没有英语老师点评一下这两篇作文流行音乐是音乐的重要组成部分.很多人喜欢流行,尤其是年轻人,请谈谈对音乐的感受以下两篇文章三分的差距在哪?(满分25分,（A)14分 B)17分）请指出两篇
有没有英语老师点评一下这两篇作文
流行音乐是音乐的重要组成部分.很多人喜欢流行,尤其是年轻人,请谈谈对音乐的感受
以下两篇文章三分的差距在哪?(满分25分,（A)14分 B)17分）请指出两篇作文的优缺点及语法错误.
(A)The PoP music is one of the musics.It conformed with the younger's mood and lifestyle.So it is very popular with the youngers.
When a person faced with failure,a inspired music can bring him out of difficulties.It equals to tell him "Failure is the mother of success".As far as he try his best to do what he deteremined to do,he will be success.
Except this,the Pop music can release one person's burden in the free time.It also can improve one person's mood,if he was in a bad mood.
Certainly,Pop music is listened by our youngers.In the future,I hope to become a amateur singers to create more songs.
病句：（1）Except this （2）It also can improve one person's mood,if he was in a bad mood.（3）Certainly,Pop music is listened by our youngers.错在哪里?请指出
(B)listening to music
Almost everyone is fond of music and I myself is a music lover.You'll always feel amazed to find that
music is everywhere,especially Pop muscis.
Whenever I feel tired.I'll just turn on a radio and listen to some music.Most music played in the radio is Pop music.Many singers are my idol(这个词有点看不清）and I like them not only their singing skills are perfect but also they sing with deep emotions.They express the sadness of unhappy people and I feel moved at their voice.
I gradually find myself richer in sympathy with things and other people around me.Because I feel willing to share their trouble during the process of listening Pop music.
Music creats a wonderful land with every note and word in a melody and washes away the dust of our soul.

有没有英语老师点评一下这两篇作文流行音乐是音乐的重要组成部分.很多人喜欢流行,尤其是年轻人,请谈谈对音乐的感受以下两篇文章三分的差距在哪?(满分25分,（A)14分 B)17分）请指出两篇
1.Except this--Besides
2.It also can improve one person's mood--It can also improve one's mood.
3.listened--listened to,“年轻人”不是younger,而是“the young”
此外,pop music前不用冠词the,p也不必大写,music不能加s.
A篇作文语病较多,这是三分差距的主要体现.