英语作文批改.题目是"Should Parents Send Their Kids to Art Classes".内容:①现在又不少家长送孩子参加各种艺术班;②对这种做法有人表示支持,也有人表示不赞成;③我认为……批改要求:①请指

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英语作文批改.题目是"ShouldParentsSendTheirKidstoArtClasses".内容:①现在又不少家长送孩子参加各种艺术班;②对这种做法有人表示支持,也有人表示不赞成;③我认为…

英语作文批改.题目是"Should Parents Send Their Kids to Art Classes".内容:①现在又不少家长送孩子参加各种艺术班;②对这种做法有人表示支持,也有人表示不赞成;③我认为……批改要求:①请指
英语作文批改.题目是"Should Parents Send Their Kids to Art Classes".
内容:①现在又不少家长送孩子参加各种艺术班;②对这种做法有人表示支持,也有人表示不赞成;③我认为……
批改要求:①请指出语法错误;②给出批改意见;③指出可以提高的部分;
如果批改得很给力,之后会有20的加分,
Nowadays,parents always want their kids become the achiever so that they send them to take part in the art classe.However,too much courses for children unbearable.So,there is a problem.Should parents send their kids to art classes?
Some people do really support the idea that parents should send teir kids to art classes.In their opinion,join the classes means the kids can obtain more knowledge and have a shkill.What's more,if the kids study well,they also can have more opptunities to have a success.So,why not send them to art classes?
But,the coin has two faces.here are some people disagree with these parents.In their minds,kid just a kid,their narural is playing.It is unbearable for kids to take part in too many classes.At the same time,if they don;t want to study like this,they can't study well.So,why send them to such many classes?
In short,Ithink if the kid like drawing,then send he or she to study drawing.If the kid like singing,then send he or she to study singing.Interesting is the best teacher.It is unnecessary to take part in so many art classes.If they don't want to join the classes,then let them play with each other.Happiness just is the most important thing for them.
哪些词重复的比较多?更改的话,请举一个例子好吗?

英语作文批改.题目是"Should Parents Send Their Kids to Art Classes".内容:①现在又不少家长送孩子参加各种艺术班;②对这种做法有人表示支持,也有人表示不赞成;③我认为……批改要求:①请指
Nowadays,parents always want their kids become the achiever so that they send them to take part in the art classe.However,too (much->many) courses (for children unbearable-> increase the study pressure to their children to an unbearable degree).So,there is a problem.Should parents send their kids to art classes?
Some people do really support the idea that parents should send teir kids to art classes.In their opinion,( join->joining) the classes means the kids can obtain more knowledge and have a shkill.What's more,if the kids study well,they also can have more opptunities to( have a去掉) success.So,why not send them to art classes?
But,the coin has two faces.here are some people disagree with these parents.In their minds,kid just a kid,their narural is (playing->play 可以单独做名词,这样简洁,而且playing很容易和现在进行时混淆).It is unbearable for kids to take part in too many classes.At the same time,if they don;t want to study like this,they can't study well.So,why send them to (such->so) many classes?
In short,Ithink if the kid (like->likes) drawing,then send he or she to study drawing.If the kid (like->likes) singing,then send he or she to study singing.(Interesting->interests) is the best teacher.It is unnecessary to take part in so many art classes.If they don't want to join the classes,then let them play with each other.Happiness (just is->is just) the most important thing for them.
总体写的还可以,有些小错,还有文章有一些重复用词可以变换一下,以体现表达的多样性.比如多次使用 send their kids to art class 你可以变换成 force their kids to learn art 还可以 burden their children with art class等等
再如最后一段Ithink if the kid (like->likes) drawing,then send he or she to study drawing.If the kid (like->likes) singing,then send he or she to study singing.改为 I think if the kids likes drawing or singing,provide them the conditions of both high quality teachers and lessons.
unbearable改成intolerable
多次使用的take part in 可以改为 attend ,learn in
另外我多改了一个地方(Interesting->interests)

如今,父母总是渴望他们的孩子们成为成功者,他们把他们参加艺术看报纸。然而,过多的课程,对孩子们难以忍受。所以,有一个问题. 家长应不应该把他们的孩子们艺术课程吗?
有些人真的都支持这样一个观点,即父母应送孩子们teir艺术课程。他们认为,加入课程意味着几个孩子能获得更多的知识和有shkill。更重要的是,如果孩子学习好,他们也会有更多的全球普及率有一个成功。那么,为什么没有打发他们艺术的班...

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如今,父母总是渴望他们的孩子们成为成功者,他们把他们参加艺术看报纸。然而,过多的课程,对孩子们难以忍受。所以,有一个问题. 家长应不应该把他们的孩子们艺术课程吗?
有些人真的都支持这样一个观点,即父母应送孩子们teir艺术课程。他们认为,加入课程意味着几个孩子能获得更多的知识和有shkill。更重要的是,如果孩子学习好,他们也会有更多的全球普及率有一个成功。那么,为什么没有打发他们艺术的班级吗?
但是,硬币都有faces.这里有几个人反对这些父母。在他们的心里,孩子只不过是孩子,他们的天然在玩。相见时难别让孩子们去参加太多的课。同时,如果他们没有,我想学习这样,他们不能好好学习。那么,为什么打发他们去,他们这么多的班级吗?
简而言之,我认为如果孩子们喜欢画画,然后把他或她学习画画。如果孩子们喜欢唱歌,然后把他或她学习唱歌。有趣的是最好的老师。这是不必要的,参加如此多的艺术课程。如果他们不想参加课程,然后让他们玩对方。幸福才是最重要的问题。

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09年12月六级的作文题目,我刚刚还在看。。真巧了

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