帮忙看一下这篇英语作文Dear classmates, I'm Li Ming.After the discussion we found that 70% of the students think doing exercise every day is a good idea. But we shouldn't do it for a long time.They think doing exercise can make our rxlaxe

帮忙看一下这篇英语作文Dear classmates, I'm Li Ming.After the discussion we found that 70% of the students think doing exercise every day is a good idea. But we shouldn't do it for a long time.They think doing exercise can make our rxlaxe
帮忙看一下这篇英语作文
Dear classmates,
I'm Li Ming.After the discussion we found that 70% of the students think doing exercise every day is a good idea. But we shouldn't do it for a long time.They think doing exercise can make our rxlaxed. So we can study better.And it's good for our health. If we execise for an hour every day,we'll have a happiness life.
But 30% of the students don't think so.Because they think exercising will make our excited.It's bad for students to study. And doing exercise will waste time.It can also make people feel tired.Even we will get ingured when we are doing exercise.
看看有没有什么错误?
可是第一句话是题目中给的，不能改呀。。。

帮忙看一下这篇英语作文Dear classmates, I'm Li Ming.After the discussion we found that 70% of the students think doing exercise every day is a good idea. But we shouldn't do it for a long time.They think doing exercise can make our rxlaxe
Dear classmates,
I'm Li Ming.After the discussion we found that 70% of the students
think doing exercise every day is a good idea.But we shouldn't do it
thought 这里时态应该是有问题,不改也无大碍
for a long time.They think doing exercise can make our rxlaxed.So
too 读一下上下文 us relaxed And
we can study better.And it's good for our health.If we execise for
And—What's more,
an hour every day,we'll have a happiness life.
happy happiness是名词
But 30% of the students don't think so.Because they think
exercising will make our excited.It's bad for students to study.And
us
doing exercise will waste time.It can also make people feel
tired.Even we will get ingured when we are doing exercise.
Sometimes吧Even很怪 will—may 不是一定会受伤的
on the discussion没必要
一楼那个so that 用的漂亮

你这篇文章翻译过来就不通顺了，After the discussion应该改成on the discussion，这篇文章如果考试中15分我给你评12分，错词不多，但用法不当

挺不错的
至少我还可以看得懂

第三行第五个词“our”应为“us”后面的句号和So改为“so that”更好。
第二段第一行的最后的“our”改为“us”