哪个大神能帮我看一下雅思作文,thanks题目International travel is becoming cheaper,and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists.Do the advantages of increased tourismoutweigh its disadvantages?Nowadays,thecost of trave

哪个大神能帮我看一下雅思作文,thanks题目International travel is becoming cheaper,and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists.Do the advantages of increased tourismoutweigh its disadvantages?Nowadays,thecost of trave
哪个大神能帮我看一下雅思作文,thanks
题目International travel is becoming cheaper,and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists.Do the advantages of increased tourismoutweigh its disadvantages?
Nowadays,thecost of traveling abroad is lower than before,and tourism has a widely varietyof destinations to choose.For my part,while there are some problems that canbe caused with the travel,generally it is a positive sign.
It is not anydenying that those who oppose my idea also have their reasons to some extent.Increased tourism causes more transportation of population,that just says,itmakes pressure to the security of the country.And large number of overseastravelers may make an influence in local people’s daily life.
By contrast,people holding the opposite idea are oversimplifying the situation.To startwith,the international traveling can promote the dissemination of culture.People enrich their experience by seeing and hearing the distinctivecharacteristic of a unique place.
Secondly,international travel’s rising advances the pecuniary income and taxes ofvarious countries.And it is relevant to the economic development.Forinstance,the revenue of tourism is a significant part of GDP in China and isone of the most principal channels to obtain such currencies.Furthermore,tourism facilitates the advance if the catering business and transportationservice as well.
All in all,based on above discussion,I am firmly convinced that the advantages ofincreased global tourism are more than its disadvantages; the government shouldencourage this kind of activity.

哪个大神能帮我看一下雅思作文,thanks题目International travel is becoming cheaper,and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists.Do the advantages of increased tourismoutweigh its disadvantages?Nowadays,thecost of trave
Nowadays,thecost of traveling abroad is lower than before,and tourists have a wider range of destinations to choose from.For my part,while there are some problems that can be caused with the travel,generally it is a positive sign.
There is no denying that those who oppose my idea also have their reasons to some extent.Increased tourism causes more transportation of population,that is,it adds pressure to the security of the country.And a large number of overseas travelers may affect local people's daily life.
However,people holding the opposite idea are oversimplifying the situation.To start with,the international traveling can promote the dissemination of culture.People enrich their experience by seeing and hearing the distinctive characteristics of other places.
Secondly,the rise of international tourism increases the income and taxes of various countries.And it is relevant to the economic development.For instance,the revenue of tourism is a significant part of GDP in China and one of the principal channels to obtain foreign currencies.Furthermore,tourism facilitates the advance of the catering business and transportation service as well.
All in all,based on above discussion,I am firmly convinced that the advantages of increased global tourism are more than its disadvantages; the government should encourage this kind of activity.
我只是改了一些明显有语法错误的地方.我觉得你词汇量还是有的,只是在表达上还欠缺一些.