雅思的作文求高手指导!,最好给个评分急谢谢了.Should governments spend money on art,when they have so many other important issues and concerns?You should use your own ideas of knowledge and experience and support your arguments with

雅思的作文求高手指导!,最好给个评分急谢谢了.Should governments spend money on art,when they have so many other important issues and concerns?You should use your own ideas of knowledge and experience and support your arguments with
雅思的作文求高手指导!,最好给个评分急谢谢了.
Should governments spend money on art,when they have so many other important issues and concerns?You should use your own ideas of knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Nowadays,the art plays increasingly important role in peoples daily life spiritually and culturally due to improvement of living standard on average.Naturally,some people believe that governments should stick to invest sufficient money regularly into developing the art industry regardless of many severe problems have not been addressed yet.Personally I partly agree with the opinion expressed above.
Admittedly,there are some benefits can be provided by art in terms of individuals leisure time.Generally speaking,it is imperative that people relax their bodies and easy their minds after working or studying by appreciating the art.For instance ,the movie as one of the most prevalent art item,may occupies many individuals most of spare time.In addition to this,the music tend be be the second well-liked one in peoples recreational way,usually we can listen to music without time,place restriction and keeping the good mond to some extend.As a consequence,governments spend money in art for the sake of individuals needs which might be crucial.
On the other hand,there are various aspects against these viewpoints.It is surely to say the art cannot deal with such problems in terms of education,medicine,homelessness etc immediately .Indeed ,no one can deny the value of art,but if there are a vast number of impoverished people from different countries are living in misery,what kind of role that the art play in those people?.Furthermore,due to restricted investment of government revenue,if governments invest enormous money in development of art items and then the investment related to other serious issues might be diminished.
In conclution,the art is certainly bring about some benefits for people,particularly relieving individuals presure.I would say that investment of art is necessary ,but it does not mean governments should fund art areas without financial limit.It is better for governments give priority to take other urgent issues into account and exploring all avenues to deal with these proplems.

雅思的作文求高手指导!,最好给个评分急谢谢了.Should governments spend money on art,when they have so many other important issues and concerns?You should use your own ideas of knowledge and experience and support your arguments with
Nowadays,the【不用the了】 art plays increasingly important role in peoples【people’s】 daily life spiritually and culturally due to improvement of living standard on average.Naturally,some people believe that governments【the government】 should stick to invest【consist oninvesting】 sufficient money regularly into developing the art industry regardless of many severe problems have not been addressed yet【这半句放在前面好一点】.Personally【加逗号】 I partly agree with the opinion【s】 expressed above.
Admittedly,there are some benefits 【that】can be provided by art in terms of individuals leisure time.Generally speaking【这个可以用但是很老的词组了】,it is imperative that people relax their bodies and easy【ease?】 their minds after working or studying by appreciating the art.For instance ,the movie【,可以加个逗号表示后面的是修饰语】 as one of the most prevalent art item,may occupies【may occupy或者直接occupies】 many individuals most of spare time【most of the spare time of many individuals】.In addition to this【to this可去掉】,the music tend be be【tend to be?】 the second well-liked one【ones】 in【among】 peoples【people's?】 recreational way,【分号或者句号】usually we can listen to music without time,place【time and place两个词用and后面还有and也没关系的】 restriction【s】 and keeping【keep因为前面是can】 the good mond【moods?】 to some extend【extent.】.As a consequence,governments【no s】 【should或者need?你是少打了嘛.】spend money in art for the sake of individuals needs which might be【is might be显得不坚定- -不过这随你】 crucial.
On the other hand,there are various【各种各样的- -好的吧】 aspects 【that fighting】against【against不是动词】 these viewpoints.It is surely【surely是adv 这里要用adj】 to say 【that只是读的更通一点】the art cannot deal with【solve deal with是处理偏向主观上的那种这里还是解决好点?】 such problems in terms of education,medicine,homelessness etc【formal writing里最好别用缩写】 immediately【放在problems后面 副词要尽量紧跟动词】 .Indeed ,no one can deny the value of art,but if there are a vast number of impoverished people from different countries are living【that live前面已经有are了这里不能再用】 in misery,what kind of role that the art play in those people?【还是写formal writing的时候最好别用一个疑问句反问句的话好点】.Furthermore,due to 【the】restricted investment of government revenue,if governments invest enormous money in development of art items【developing art items能用动词的时候不用名词】 and then【不要and then了直接逗号】 the investment related to other serious issues might be diminished.
In conclution,the art is certainly bring【certainly brings这里干嘛要正在进行时】 about【去掉about】 some benefits for people,particularly 【in】relieving individuals【individuals‘】 presure.I would say that investment of art is necessary ,but it does not mean governments【the government】 should fund art areas without financial limit.It is better for governments 【to】give priority【priorities】 to take other urgent issues into account and exploring all avenues to deal with these proplems.

还是花钱找人改吧
去新东方批改网 20块钱100字，老师都是外国人,会以外国人的思维去改,
页面很精美,质量很不错，除了批改打分，还有范文重写什么的