求英语大神,英语老师批改一下下面的文章,看看语法和总体结构,给点评价,（2）Punishment,the Better ChoicePrevention brought us a world fullof distrust.We can’t ensure real safety by such way,what we get,is a prisonbuilt o

求英语大神,英语老师批改一下下面的文章,看看语法和总体结构,给点评价,（2）Punishment,the Better ChoicePrevention brought us a world fullof distrust.We can’t ensure real safety by such way,what we get,is a prisonbuilt o
求英语大神,英语老师批改一下下面的文章,看看语法和总体结构,给点评价,
（2）Punishment,the Better Choice
Prevention brought us a world fullof distrust.We can’t ensure real safety by such way,what we get,is a prisonbuilt ourselves.However,there are still another different way,punishment.
What can it bring to us?Can itreally make a difference?Here we go.The meaning of the punishment,of course,is a legal sanction.Governments make laws let punishment legalized,then wecan use such events always happen,using punishment system to ensure our citizens’safety is still a long way to go.
But after our punishment systembeing gradually imprecate,we will see the really difference.We won’t be sofrightened with the unsafety events,cause there are few of them at that time.Wewill be no need to live in our ‘safety prison’,we can walk outside with ourdear friends,our lovely neighbors,without any suspicion.We can live in aworld,more peaceful and friendly.

求英语大神,英语老师批改一下下面的文章,看看语法和总体结构,给点评价,（2）Punishment,the Better ChoicePrevention brought us a world fullof distrust.We can’t ensure real safety by such way,what we get,is a prisonbuilt o
总体而言,写的不错. 但还有不足,需要改进 (比如,思维逻辑,语法及选择恰当的单词方面).具体的看我以下的修改：
（2）Punishment- A Better Choice
Prevention brought us a world full of distrust. What we get from prevention is nothing but to build a prison for ourselves. Prevention can by no means provide us with a true guarantee of safety. However, there is another alternative approach - punishment.
What can punishment bring to us? Can it really make a difference? By punishment, we mean a legal sanction, legalized by the Governments, serving as a deterrent to bad events that happen frequently. However, there is still a long way to go before we can systemize the punishment system to really ensure the citizens’safety. As the punishment system gradually improves, it wll make a true difference. People will no longer feel frightened simply because there will be only few unsafety events by then. There will be no need for us to live in our ‘safety prison’, as we can walk outside, without fear and suspicion, with our close friends and our lovely neighbors. We will live in a world that is more peaceful and friendly.