剑7雅思英语作文,高分求修改意见,不剩感激.Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.Others,however,argue that the circumstances of an individual crime,and the motivation for committing it,should

剑7雅思英语作文,高分求修改意见,不剩感激.Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.Others,however,argue that the circumstances of an individual crime,and the motivation for committing it,should
剑7雅思英语作文,高分求修改意见,不剩感激.
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.Others,however,argue that the circumstances of an individual crime,and the motivation for committing it,should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.+ o7
There is an argument between two groups of people on the topic related to crime.Some believe that fixed punishments should be applied for each type of crime,while others state that circumstances and motivation should be considered as well.
The reason why they insist identical punishment is based on the belief whoever makes the crime for any reasons should receive punishment the same as others regardless of conditions.Laws need to be designed fairly for everyone.If the rules of punishment are biased or sometimes discriminated,disorder in society will be caused and disturbance would arise.Hence,a fixed punishment for each type of crime assists to discipline society and ensure peace and fairness.
However,the circumstance of crime and motivation for committing it indeed differentiate the crime from one another.We may realize that someone committed crime due to some special reasons.A poor man had to stolen food from a supermarket because his wife and children had been starving for a few days.A young lady unintentionally killed a man purely on the purpose she wanted to protect herself from being robbed.Under circumstances like these,could we forgive them to some extent and apply less severe punishment than normal?Of course,one society is made up of laws and morals.We,human beings,have mercy on these kinds of crimes and everyone could understand and allow certain variations existing.Obviously,if variations are allowed,investigation procedures should be taken carefully to clarify each detail of the special case,in case somebody plans to make use of our kind hearts to reduce or even avoid punishments.
Every small change in rules demands deep consideration,so the law makers can take both groups’ views into account to make decision.The ultimate objective that making the society better off as a whole,should be reminded all the time.

剑7雅思英语作文,高分求修改意见,不剩感激.Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.Others,however,argue that the circumstances of an individual crime,and the motivation for committing it,should
请问下你这篇文章准备拿多少分,现在这个答案从任何角度来看都足够8分水平,应该已经足够了吧
简单提些小意见,仅供参考,有些纯粹是个人说话习惯,人跟人也有分别,大可看看而已
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优点
1.辞藻丰富,用词准确
2.开场白,两方论点,总结,条理清晰明了
3.句法严禁,语法普遍准确
缺点
1.某些地方仍然有中式思维的残留,只挑一个例子来说
We,human beings,have mercy on these kinds of crimes and everyone could understand and allow certain variations existing.
allow certain variations existing明显是“允许一些变通存在”的直翻,(个人认为)更通顺的写法应为
We,human beings,SHOULD have mercy on these kinds of crimes.We SHOULD show our understanding(s) and allow the existence(s) of certain variations.
2.语法错误
The ultimate objective that making the society better off as a whole,should be reminded all the time.
The ultimate objective that makes (aims to make) the society better as a whole,should be reminded at all time.
better of个人觉得不应该用在这种语境里吧,只是个感觉,请查有关文章对比用法
3.显示出一些小小的文章个性
遵守文章结构当然会为考官带来不少的方便,但以你的水平来看,足以在此基础上显示一些个人的才华,你的能力应该绰绰有余,充分的表现下自己么,
开场白,放松一些,不需要完全转换原题,显得会有些生硬,自然点就好
两方论点比重,既然反方有两个例子,正方（fairness方）不能什么都没有.这个题当然有自己的倾向,但文章要自己掌握住
有自己的想法,完全可以在总结里面提出,In my own opinion,两句话,之后结尾
4.正反都有自己的优缺点,要支持的同时简单提一句反驳,但不要和另一方论点雷同
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最后祝考试顺利,个人认为完全不必要把精力放在写作上了,把其他部分拉倒8分水平就好了