雅思作文批改 剑2 test1 小作文 (高分求修改)The graph gives information about theconsumer durables owned in the UK over the period from 1972 to 1983. As can be seen from the table, the greatestincrease was found in telephone ownership, r

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雅思作文批改剑2test1小作文(高分求修改)ThegraphgivesinformationabouttheconsumerdurablesownedintheUKovertheperiodfrom

雅思作文批改 剑2 test1 小作文 (高分求修改)The graph gives information about theconsumer durables owned in the UK over the period from 1972 to 1983. As can be seen from the table, the greatestincrease was found in telephone ownership, r
雅思作文批改 剑2 test1 小作文 (高分求修改)

The graph gives information about theconsumer durables owned in the UK over the period from 1972 to 1983.

 

As can be seen from the table, the greatest

increase was found in telephone ownership, rising from 42% in 1972 to 77% in

1983. Next came central heating ownership, which rose considerably by 27%, form

37% in 1972 to 64% in 1983. The percentage of households with a refrigerator

grew 21% during the same period and of those with a washing machine by 14%. In

addition, households with vacuum-cleaners, televisions and dishwashers

increased by 8%, 5% and 2% respectively.

 

 

In the year of 1983 their introduction,

television ownership stayed in top position in terms of households with, which

is about 20 times larger than telephone ownership. It is also interesting to

notice that 18% of households had a video recorder in 1983.

 

 

In conclusion, there were striking

differences in percentage of households with in the 11 years spanning from 1972

through 1983.

 

 

雅思作文批改 剑2 test1 小作文 (高分求修改)The graph gives information about theconsumer durables owned in the UK over the period from 1972 to 1983. As can be seen from the table, the greatestincrease was found in telephone ownership, r
The (graph 是曲线图,应该是表table才对) gives information about the consumer durables owned in the UK over the period from 1972 to 1983.
As can be seen from the table,the greatest increase (可以考虑加上during this period)was found in telephone ownership,rising from 42% in 1972 to 77% in1983.Next came central heating ownership,which rose considerably by 27%,form37% in 1972 to 64% in 1983.The percentage of households with a refrigerator grew 21% during the same period and of those with a washing machine by 14%.In addition,households with vacuum-cleaners,televisions and dishwashers increased by 8%,5% and 2% respectively.In the year of 1983 their introduction,television ownership stayed in top position in terms of households with,which is about 20 times larger than (telephone错了,应该是 dishwasher 才对哦!) ownership.It is also interesting to notice that 18% of households had a video recorder in 1983.(Of course the reason was because they were the new invention of that time!这句是的替你加上的,你不须一定要接受.)
(Another new invention was the dishwasher,their figures only started to show from the year 1978,also because they are kind of luxury,too expensive and no really a nessesity.Therefore they showed a very slow increase from 3% to only 5% in five years 这是的替你补充的,同样是,你可以加或不加上去都任随你.)
In conclusion,there were striking differences in percentage of households with in(within 是一个字) the 11 years spanning from 1972 through 1983.
原文写得甚好,只有一个明显的错处(把 telephone 当作 dishwasher).
另外,我替你加长了一些以供参考,你可以接受或不接受都由你.
如有不明可以继续追问,

你的文章没有描述表中信息的规律,例如所有种类的耐用品的持有率总体呈上升趋势。文章中虽然特别提到持有率增长最快的两种耐用品(个人认为用almost double来描述它们的增长更合适),但没有特别提到缓慢增长和稳定增长的那几种;虽然提到持有率最高的用品,却没有特别指出持有率最低的那种。总的来说就是文章在选择数据,描述数据特征或规律上有所欠缺,因为,如上所述,几个明显的数据特征都被忽略了。找好规律是拿...

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你的文章没有描述表中信息的规律,例如所有种类的耐用品的持有率总体呈上升趋势。文章中虽然特别提到持有率增长最快的两种耐用品(个人认为用almost double来描述它们的增长更合适),但没有特别提到缓慢增长和稳定增长的那几种;虽然提到持有率最高的用品,却没有特别指出持有率最低的那种。总的来说就是文章在选择数据,描述数据特征或规律上有所欠缺,因为,如上所述,几个明显的数据特征都被忽略了。找好规律是拿到6.5分或更高分数的前提,楼主以后要在这方面多花心思。

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感谢您对新航道企业平台的支持,希望我们的回答能帮助到您!
雅思作文这边,难度比较大,一直以来都是雅思考试的重点和难点!
主要原因是学生对于信息的把握不准确,对于考试题型的不理解,还有就是英语基础能力的问题!
在线考卷很难给予你有效的信息!
希望你能有机会来实地参观一下!新航道外语培训:http://hf.xhd.cn...

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感谢您对新航道企业平台的支持,希望我们的回答能帮助到您!
雅思作文这边,难度比较大,一直以来都是雅思考试的重点和难点!
主要原因是学生对于信息的把握不准确,对于考试题型的不理解,还有就是英语基础能力的问题!
在线考卷很难给予你有效的信息!
希望你能有机会来实地参观一下!新航道外语培训:http://hf.xhd.cn

收起

雅思作文批改 雅思作文批改 剑2 test1 小作文 (高分求修改)The graph gives information about theconsumer durables owned in the UK over the period from 1972 to 1983. As can be seen from the table, the greatestincrease was found in telephone ownership, r 雅思作文批改,这样的小作文能得几分?我第一次写剑5,test1 writing task 1The line graph shows that how many people who are at their 65 in Japan,Sweden and USA from 1940 to 2040.It is clear that in three countries,the size of the elde 雅思作文可以用句酷作文批改吗? 雅思小作文批改(剑5test1)The graph illustrates the dramatic comparison of the proportion of the population aged 65 and over during the period from 1940 to 2040 in 3 countries.When it comes to japan,its proportion started in the year of 194 雅思小作文批改题目是雅思4的test1的小作文,这篇作文怎么样,大概能得多少分啊,The chart demostrates the percentage of different types of families living poor in Australia in 1999.According to the chart,the family of aged co 我的雅思作文帮忙批改 评分 批改雅思作文的是英国人吗? 考官如何批改雅思大作文 哪有雅思作文批改的服务啊?哪里提供雅思作文批改的服务啊? 雅思作文救星上面有作文批改服务吗? 雅思小作文范文 雅思小作文 剑8 test1 小作文 求评分批改The pie chart describes the main courses why arable land becomes less productive and the table illustrates how these reasons affected 3 continents during the 1990sAccording to the pie chart ,it is obvious that the 跪谢!剑7 TEST1小作文 求批改The table illustrates data about consumer expenditure on varied categories in five different countries(Ireland,Italy,Spain,Sweden and Turkey) in 2002.As we can see in the table that the amount of money spent in thr 【高分】求批改雅思作文这是剑七的test1那篇作文,讨论的是每个人通过教育都能否成为成功的运动员或音乐家.Nowadays,more people believe that our life is already fixed since we came to the world,because our gene i 雅思IELTS大作文批改!目标是作文单科成绩7+...主要是留学的学校要求小分四个7,作文是最难提高的,所以求高手批改,并做一些批注或者建议(最好是雅思作文老师,或者雅思高手也行!)我最大 帮我改一下这个雅思小作文是剑5 test1的小作文The graph illustrated changes in the proportion of the population aged 65 and over form 1940 to 2040 in Japan Sweden and USA (这三个城市前介词in用的对么?有更好的表达么?