这篇雅思作文得几分There is a issue of whether increasing the number of sports facilities support people to exercise and keep health.It is reported that recently,more of people alway stay at home who play computer games or watch televation al

这篇雅思作文得几分There is a issue of whether increasing the number of sports facilities support people to exercise and keep health.It is reported that recently,more of people alway stay at home who play computer games or watch televation al
这篇雅思作文得几分
There is a issue of whether increasing the number of sports facilities support people to exercise and keep health.
It is reported that recently,more of people alway stay at home who play computer games or watch televation almost all the day after school or work,which is blamed for a phenomenon that much more people get sick.Forthemore,hospital would more crowded than before in the future.However,the suggestion of goveronment need to build enough sports facilities can be justied in many ways.
Gym,a case in point ,can provide a occasion to people to sport,such as basketball,football,table tennies,etc.I think that it is a best way to relax their body and mind for people when they finnish a various of works or homeworks.
The biggest advantage of increasing the number of sports facilities is that those who is interesd in sports can possess more sport gum or facilities to entertain than before.because,sometimes,They hope to organize a competition of balls but they hard to find a occasion.so if the goveronment increase sports facilities,in other word,they get an opportunities to sport in outdoor and they can keep their sharp constantly.
Consequently,accroding to above reason,We can draw a conclusion that it is neccessary to increase sports facillities for everyone.

不知道这篇雅思大作文有没有4.5分..求大神们评个分.谢谢

这篇雅思作文得几分There is a issue of whether increasing the number of sports facilities support people to exercise and keep health.It is reported that recently,more of people alway stay at home who play computer games or watch televation al
首先你得把题目也写出来才好评分吧,审题是第一步,没有题目也不好评分.
其次你第一段的第一句就有语法错误,而且还不止一个错误,起码有3个错误,那就不会有高分
there is an issue,不是 a issue,issue 后面可以用 that 从句引导出来,不用从句也可以,
那动词要变形来修饰名词,你就直接 support ...and keep 那句子的谓语动词到底是 is 还是后面的并列动词?
最后一段也有低级错误 according to above reason,according 拼错了吧,然后逗号后面为什么we是大写?
所以不用看内容,你这最多也就4分
分段也有问题,如果你顶格写,那段与段之间就要隔行,如果空两格写就不用隔行

4.5..............

liang先说说你的优点，词汇和句子复杂程度都没什么问题，还不错。但是语法问题太严重了，给人感觉有点像一个西装革履的人里面穿着一件满是窟窿的衬衫，把错误（明显的错误和首字母大写等小细节）改了上5以上绝对没问题。当然，这是你没跑题的基础上。踏踏实实把语法基础夯实，不光对你的作文有好处，其他尤其是口语。你想一开口就忘变复数，冠词搞错，考官对你不会有好印象的。是不是主要错在定冠词还有首字母大写这些地方....

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liang先说说你的优点，词汇和句子复杂程度都没什么问题，还不错。但是语法问题太严重了，给人感觉有点像一个西装革履的人里面穿着一件满是窟窿的衬衫，把错误（明显的错误和首字母大写等小细节）改了上5以上绝对没问题。当然，这是你没跑题的基础上。踏踏实实把语法基础夯实，不光对你的作文有好处，其他尤其是口语。你想一开口就忘变复数，冠词搞错，考官对你不会有好印象的。

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